3 years trying and not giving up!

georgestevens1509

Hello to all! I'm new to this forum but have had the bump app for a while now .. I've been reading posts and looking up tips and guidance for months! I've found it enormously helpful and very comforting. I really do empathise with so many of you and completely understand the frustrations! So, here's my story so far .. Thought it was about time I shared! We've been trying for 3 years now and I'm 33 in September .. Lost my dad coming up to 2 years ago which may have hampered ttc somewhat and I've just been to the dr's here; a new dr's closer to home .. Myself and my partner were so deflated after our first visit. We weren't asked if we wanted an a-level student sitting in on our appointment to start with and then I was whisked onto the scales and promptly told I need to, I quote, 'starve myself' over summer and hopefully that will help! I was also told I need to spend the next 3 months booking myself in for blood tests when I'm apparently ovulating to check if I actually am. I was told if the results are all good then I would need to be referred to a specialist but only once my bmi is back below 35! .. I've since lost 1st and 4lbs and still working on it! .. This month my monthly did not appear on the 28th day as it does every month like clockwork! .. Sooo, I was convinced I was pregnant .. So so tired all the time, like seriously only wanting to be in my duvet all day tired, I felt nauseous after food, food itself tasted bland and I felt needed seasoning constantly, I was peeing all the time and I was checking guidance, looking up baby names and everything! .. I've done this to myself so many times before the past 3 years and have taken a test so many times before only to be left totally devastated by it all. I promised myself not to let this happen again but this time I thought was different but sadly yesterday .. 3 days late my monthly arrived and I'm back feeling deflated and my partner .. He's sad too as I built his hopes up along the way and now I feel bad about that too!! .. Trying to stay positive now and move on and carry on with these tests .. Losing weight etc.. Trying not to obsess like people keep telling me not to .. How hard is that though!? Lol .. Anyways .. Just wanted to share with you all and wanted to let so many of you know .. I understand too!! .. Also, if anyone else has experienced the same kind of treatment from the GP .. I'd love to know if this is usual procedure or if I should get a second opinion! .. Thanks peeps .. Good luck with ttc and I hope we are all radiant with baby dust very soon!!! ) xxxx

CopperLane

Welcome! Your doctor sounds mean, uncaring and I'd feel the same way! Maybe the stress of the dr pushed your ovulation back. Have you been taking a BBT and OPKs? When I first saw an OB about my 60 day cycles, I took in my charts and OPK results and that helped my case A LOT. I find that a lot of Drs assume we have no clue what we are talking about and you really have to be your own advocate.

This is a great and supportive group! I'm sorry your dr is a lame head, hopefully after your blood tests they start doing their job instead of jerking around.

jnissa

Welcome. Your doctor or nurse (whomever told you to starve yourself) should never be seen again! Firstly, that's just poor medical advice about how to lose weight, but secondly it's completely uncalled for to be so mean about it. 

You still have age in your favor, so don't give up. But also get a referral to a specialist. There actually are a lot of places that won't treat you if your bmi is over 35, but getting that down isn't just good for a healthy pregnancy, it's good for you, too. Are you by any chance Canadian (since you used GP instead of PCP)? It can be a little harder to get a referral in that system, but you do need to be your own patient advocate to get it. A lot of us have learned that the hard way  

Good luck! 

krbjoy

Hi! I agree with jnissa. You've been treated badly and given poor advice. Of course losing some weight helps but it's completely not supportive to be made to feel like you need to starve yourself. This journey is hard enough, you don't need to be stressed by the people who are supposed to be helping and supporting you. I wish you all the luck on this journey. And the ladies here are awesome!

AdorkablePixie

Welcome. Your doctor (or nurse.. whoever said that) is so mean! There was definitely a nicer way to tell you that you needed to lose weight. And "starving yourself" is not the answer. You should try to eat right and get some exercise. Geeze.

I agree with the pps, you should probably seek treatment of an RE because they seem to know more of what they are doing.

SmileyMcGee

Are you in the UK? As you said GP.
I am and my GP has been a great help and support- that's finitely not how your appointment should've gone. I'd get a second opinion or change Drs!