What am I doing wrong?

chipmk228

My LO is 13 months old and sleeps for an initial stretch of 4 hours and then wakes up every 2 hours until 7:30 am. After that, she refuses to go back to bed. I am a SAHM and we just moved to Orlando, FL where I am not around any family nor friends. Either way, we live in a beautiful community, I have a wonderful baby and 3 year old dog and I should be happy. But I'm so exhausted! Every minute there is something to do! I see other moms with multiple babies who look well rested. My husband is a physician and said that he works with women with babies who are doing just fine at work while I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I hardly have time to make dinner. Every time I try, my baby cries. She hates being in her carrier now and she lacks head support so I'm constantly having to lay her on my shoulder and lean back (kills my lower back and shoulder).

I know I'm rambling but I'm so exhausted. How do other women do it and look so put together?

bethanylga

You say your LO is 13 months old...did you mean 13 weeks?

chipmk228

Yes, ugh 13 weeks. Sorry, I'm not with it...

CanadaMom17

Sometimes, you might just need to let her cry a few minutes so you can get something done.  My lo was much the same, and sometimes I just had to set her in the crib with some toys & her mobile for a bit.  That being said, she's at the point where she is getting more settled and into playing with things, etc.  I can get about 20 minutes at a stretch now with her playing in her swing, or with her play mat.  I found her bouncy chair a lifesaver too - I just strap her in and set her on the counter with me and put it on vibrate while I get food ready - she did hate it at first, but she got used to it.  Maybe just keep trying, and as she matures a bit more it will get better.

morgansWed105148

When's your last feed before the 4 hour stretch?

SmrBrd2012

Honestly, the sleep part sounds pretty normal to me. My little guy sleeps for about 4 hours for the first stretch and then every 2ish as well. I've seen other ladies mention that on this board too. And it does suck, either being at home or at work. I've kind of gotten used to it but I am hoping these stretches get longer soon because I'm a zombie at work...Does your LO nap during the day? When I was at home on mat leave I'd put him down whenever he got cranky (had to work at getting him to nap for up to 30 min sometimes...) and then try to work on making dinner or whatever else. Does your LO have a playmat? Mine LOVES his now so I can usually set him down for awhile and get stuff done while he's a little entertained.

TessaGarringer

My 13 week old son sleeps from 9:30pm until 6:30 or 7:30am. But only if I swaddled him. If he isn't swaddled he wakes up every 30 mins. I leave his arms out because he likes them by his face.

Knottie76365376

I definitely feel like this some days. I started putting him in the baby bouncer on the table while preparing meals. Soon, he got used to it and I talk to him and show him that I'm cooking. Usually I am able to get the prep done and/or the cooking before he's had enough and then I let DH set the table and serve the meal. I give myself a lot of time and have on many occasions turned the burners off, taken care of what baby needed, put him back in the bouncer and finished cooking. It can go back and forth like this many times, but in the end the job gets done. Also to second what PP said, sometimes he cries in the crib while I run around and do what I need to do, drink a big glass of water, and then go back to him fresh :-) (The glass of water is key)

lola2bee

My first child needed a lot of baby wearing. That just made him feel safe. Something to try... Hang in there mama!!!

supersarah77

As a working mom, let me tell you, work is a break! Staying home is harder in my experience. That's why your hubby's coworkers don't look strung out. Also it depends on the ages of their kids. Our babies are very young and needy. That changes with time! So does the sleep thing. Hang in there. It's hard but everything you're saying is totally normal. You're doing great.

chipmk228

Thank you everyone for your tips! Yeah my working mom friends told me the same thing - work is a break from the baby. At the same time, I can't imagine working on such little sleep! I'm sure I would end up with a gastric bleed from all the caffeinated soda and coffee I would need in order to stay awake!

So I've tried all the distraction methods and I can probably only get a good 5-10 minutes of cooking done at a time. And it's always when I'm working with raw meat that she decides to cry! I oftentimes feel like I'm working with a ticking time bomb! Even when I want to run errands, everything falls according to her feeding schedule. I love her to death but it's driving me insane.

chipmk228

Oh and I tried baby wearing but it's so hard to do laundry, bend over and cook on the stove/oven. Plus, she just started to hate her k'tan. Sigh....$68 down the drain. We have an ergo but she lacks head control and the infant insert is very uncomfortable. She likes the ring sling but it causes shoulder pain after 5 min of use.

gtellier

@chipmk228 I just learned how to tie an African style baby wrap (all you need is a sarong) and I can do so much more around the house. Maybe you can give it a shot? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaz6rfjW8co

annie10

No advice, just encouragement - hang in there! My 1st was the same way. I wore him a lot, which was fine most of the time but then I'd feel "touched out" and like I just needed to be by myself. This too shall pass. Sorry you're so tired  

ali0608

A lot of people can look more put together on the outside than is really happening, especially if you are at work. Just because people look like they are getting more sleep, they may be a mess internally.
With that said, being with baby all day is draining. A break here or there is necessary even if it's during the day. Good luck!

Curlygirl84

As a suggestion: I started using the Ergo without the bulky infant insert but still with the infant pillow that she sits on, and it's great! Her head is more supported than in other carriers but it's not as hot or bulky as with the full infant insert. That being said, it's still super hard to do most housework (cleaning, laundry) etc with babe in the carrier

Amber Woods

U probably shouldn't baby wear anyways when cooking! Just saying. Lol.. Have you tried to dream feed. Wake up a little before those 4 hours and give the baby a good size bottle when they are still sleeping. Then maybe she will settle in for another longer stretch

jerseymommatobe

How many ounces is your baby eating? Maybe you need to increase it if it's been awhile, especially for the night feeding after you get the 4 hour stretch, it may help you get another 4 hours as opposed to 2 and then 2 again. That's what I did!