My MIL is so fake it drives me nuts. All you'll see on her Facebook is pictures about my LO. How much she loves him, how proud she is to be a grandma, blah blah blah. She has seen him less than five times and he is 3 months old. This would not be an issue if she lived a distance from us, but she is literally at my BIL house everyday which is five minutes away from us.
The only time she wants to see LO is when there will be other people around so she can "show off" what a good grandma she is. It's so fake.
DH family sucks. They've done nothing to help since the baby came. They brought over a meal they cooked once on the day we got home from the hospital and made a mess of my house and left me to clear the table and do the dishes. And they sat at my formal dining room to eat while I was upstairs nursing so I didn't even get to eat.
Not one of them has offered to do anything around the house for me or even pick up groceries or anything. They barely come to see him. Pathetic.
My grandma has complained numerous times that she never sees DS (even though my parents have made arrangements for her to see him every week since he was born). I called her this week to arrange to come to her place to visit. Her response? "I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you". My grandma is 86 years old and never leaves her house. The only place she goes is the doctor and my mom's. What schedule????
In the last week my mom has judged me for only working part time since DS has been born (childcare is too $$ and DH is military, besides if I have the option to be home with DS why wouldn't I?), judged my marriage and just today judged my DH claiming he was ungrateful. She is the queen of passive aggressiveness and her comments really are hurtful and not helping at all!
My mother has been unbelievably negative toward me since I told her I was pregnant. First she was encouraging me to have an abortion because my SO and I aren't married yet. Still brings up the fact that we aren't married on a weekly basis and tries to make me second guess my relationship with my SO. In a conversation I was having about my brother (who is deaf, extremely temperamental and violent) two weeks ago I mentioned that he grabbed my wrist and would not let go when I had the baby in my other arm and I don't think it's okay that he acts the way he does at 22 years old. Her response was 'well I'll be a bitch on two legs right now and say this to you since you think you're so perfect.. I hope your child or a future child is just like him so you can see how it really is.' Then today I asked her nicely to stop over sharing pics on Facebook of my daughter because I barely post and I do that for a reason. She freaked out, started crying and tells me shes deleting every photo she has on Facebook, told me not to send her any more pictures, deletes and blocks me. I don't even know what to do anymore. She's been nothing but toxic toward me for years and spins every single thing that she says and does to me and tries to convince everyone around her that she's the victim.
We're traveling with LO on Tuesday and i still have a lot shopping for me and LO to do, it's going to be colder there so i need jackets for me a buttload of stuff for LO.
My LO gets fussy in her carseat and needs someone to be with her so i can't go alone + she also wants attention at the mall so she needs someone to play with her while i'm shopping, i have2 sisters 1 has a toddler the other's daughter has chickenpox and my husband kept putting off driving me and kept saying "go with 1 of your sisters" what the hell?!
Today he skipped work because he's sick, and by sick i mean a very mild cold and flue, my allergies are worse than his "sickness" so i made him take me to a mall that's 10 mins away for LO, he was pouty the whole time, he would only take us at noon, it's REALLY HOT! LO was screaming the whole time and all he did to calm her down was push the stroller! I packed at least 6 toys and books in her bag and showed him, he would only jiggle the rattles on her stroller then while i was checking out from the first shop he called and was just yelling to leave everything and get out now, he was so loud the cashier lady heard him! I was humiliated!
Then i guess he felt bad and took me to the tailor cause i needed of my clothes altered for breastfeeding, i go in he waits in the car with LO,2 mins in he starts honking at me!! The tailor asked if that was for me, again, HUMILIATED! When i got in the car, all it took me calm DD was talking to her and holding a rattle...
He dropped me off and went back out, came back at the end of the day with shopping bags, he went shopping for himself
I have to deal with her 24/7 and he can't handle 1 hour? Needless to say i'm not done shopping, i have LO's essentials and i'd rather freeze to death than go with him again, i was crying all day and i don't want to go on vacation anymore, he's not doing ANYTHING for DD, i know he's waiting for her to get old enough when he just has to buy her a toy to get his affection.
I hate my in laws. I'm fuming after seeing them today. Their comments are angering. The attempts to grab my baby out of my arms. I am in shock at how immature they are.
It's been hours and I cannot stop thinking about it.
We're traveling with LO on Tuesday and i still have a lot shopping for me and LO to do, it's going to be colder there so i need jackets for me a buttload of stuff for LO.
My LO gets fussy in her carseat and needs someone to be with her so i can't go alone + she also wants attention at the mall so she needs someone to play with her while i'm shopping, i have2 sisters 1 has a toddler the other's daughter has chickenpox and my husband kept putting off driving me and kept saying "go with 1 of your sisters" what the hell?!
Today he skipped work because he's sick, and by sick i mean a very mild cold and flue, my allergies are worse than his "sickness" so i made him take me to a mall that's 10 mins away for LO, he was pouty the whole time, he would only take us at noon, it's REALLY HOT! LO was screaming the whole time and all he did to calm her down was push the stroller! I packed at least 6 toys and books in her bag and showed him, he would only jiggle the rattles on her stroller then while i was checking out from the first shop he called and was just yelling to leave everything and get out now, he was so loud the cashier lady heard him! I was humiliated!
Then i guess he felt bad and took me to the tailor cause i needed of my clothes altered for breastfeeding, i go in he waits in the car with LO,2 mins in he starts honking at me!! The tailor asked if that was for me, again, HUMILIATED! When i got in the car, all it took me calm DD was talking to her and holding a rattle...
He dropped me off and went back out, came back at the end of the day with shopping bags, he went shopping for himself
I have to deal with her 24/7 and he can't handle 1 hour? Needless to say i'm not done shopping, i have LO's essentials and i'd rather freeze to death than go with him again, i was crying all day and i don't want to go on vacation anymore, he's not doing ANYTHING for DD, i know he's waiting for her to get old enough when he just has to buy her a toy to get his affection.
I'm so hurt and i feel like a single mother.
I'm sorry you had such a rough day with DH. I hate when these situations come up and you start feeling like a single mom. It's extremely frustrating when we don't feel the support we need from our spouse.
I don't want to lump all men in the same category, because I know all men are not like this, but I find a lot of them just don't get it. My DH doesn't. He's starting to be more understanding but that's been after many breakdowns. I've felt the same way as you - I'm with DS 24/7 why can't he handle one hour?!
I don't have any advice other then communicate as much as possible with your SO. But I know how tough even that can be when it doesn't feel like they understand.
My cousins are giving me crap over not taking lo to see my grandmother. Well I haven't seen the woman in 2 years, when I invited her to my wedding and she refused to come. The woman has never acknowledged that I ever got married and had a baby. I would have just loved a phone call or letter saying congrats. On a side note I am the youngest grandchild, so I would assume she would have been excited for me.
@chambersbaby2015 i'll try to talk to him i just keep imagining the future i know he's going to be the "fun dad" and i'll be the one with all the rules then i imagine DD loving him more than me and start crying lmao, i know it's silly but it's very real at these times
@chambersbaby2015 i'll try to talk to him i just keep imagining the future i know he's going to be the "fun dad" and i'll be the one with all the rules then i imagine DD loving him more than me and start crying lmao, i know it's silly but it's very real at these times
Thanks a lot!
I definitely have the same fears that DH will be the fun parent. But then I remember that right now I'm the one with DS all the time. So at least when he's young I think he will be a mommy's boy.
You just have to make your own special fun time with LO too
Re: 8/7 In Laws/Family Vent
The only time she wants to see LO is when there will be other people around so she can "show off" what a good grandma she is. It's so fake.
Not one of them has offered to do anything around the house for me or even pick up groceries or anything. They barely come to see him. Pathetic.
In a conversation I was having about my brother (who is deaf, extremely temperamental and violent) two weeks ago I mentioned that he grabbed my wrist and would not let go when I had the baby in my other arm and I don't think it's okay that he acts the way he does at 22 years old. Her response was 'well I'll be a bitch on two legs right now and say this to you since you think you're so perfect.. I hope your child or a future child is just like him so you can see how it really is.' Then today I asked her nicely to stop over sharing pics on Facebook of my daughter because I barely post and I do that for a reason. She freaked out, started crying and tells me shes deleting every photo she has on Facebook, told me not to send her any more pictures, deletes and blocks me. I don't even know what to do anymore. She's been nothing but toxic toward me for years and spins every single thing that she says and does to me and tries to convince everyone around her that she's the victim.
My LO gets fussy in her carseat and needs someone to be with her so i can't go alone + she also wants attention at the mall so she needs someone to play with her while i'm shopping, i have2 sisters 1 has a toddler the other's daughter has chickenpox and my husband kept putting off driving me and kept saying "go with 1 of your sisters" what the hell?!
Today he skipped work because he's sick, and by sick i mean a very mild cold and flue, my allergies are worse than his "sickness" so i made him take me to a mall that's 10 mins away for LO, he was pouty the whole time, he would only take us at noon, it's REALLY HOT! LO was screaming the whole time and all he did to calm her down was push the stroller! I packed at least 6 toys and books in her bag and showed him, he would only jiggle the rattles on her stroller then while i was checking out from the first shop he called and was just yelling to leave everything and get out now, he was so loud the cashier lady heard him! I was humiliated!
Then i guess he felt bad and took me to the tailor cause i needed of my clothes altered for breastfeeding, i go in he waits in the car with LO,2 mins in he starts honking at me!! The tailor asked if that was for me, again, HUMILIATED! When i got in the car, all it took me calm DD was talking to her and holding a rattle...
He dropped me off and went back out, came back at the end of the day with shopping bags, he went shopping for himself
I have to deal with her 24/7 and he can't handle 1 hour? Needless to say i'm not done shopping, i have LO's essentials and i'd rather freeze to death than go with him again, i was crying all day and i don't want to go on vacation anymore, he's not doing ANYTHING for DD, i know he's waiting for her to get old enough when he just has to buy her a toy to get his affection.
I'm so hurt and i feel like a single mother.
It's been hours and I cannot stop thinking about it.
I don't want to lump all men in the same category, because I know all men are not like this, but I find a lot of them just don't get it. My DH doesn't. He's starting to be more understanding but that's been after many breakdowns. I've felt the same way as you - I'm with DS 24/7 why can't he handle one hour?!
I don't have any advice other then communicate as much as possible with your SO. But I know how tough even that can be when it doesn't feel like they understand.
You're doing a great job!
Thanks a lot!
You just have to make your own special fun time with LO too