Formula Feeding
DrD30
member
I feel so heartbroken and guilty but I'm done with breastfeeding. I have three month old twins and am unable to make enough milk for them both. I have tried domperidone, fenugreek, pumping every two hours and power pumping now for two weeks in a row. I am currently exclusively pumping, and though I know it's not always an accurate measure I'm not getting anywhere close to the 10oz I need every four hours. No matter what I do I just can't do it for them and my lactation consultant thinks I may just have insufficient glandular tissue. I would love to continue nursing them but by the time I nurse them, supplement them and pump we are running into the next feeding and our entire life just becomes feedings.
Options
New to the group and very sad to be here
DrD30
member
Hello, I'm new to this group and hoping for some support from you ladies with experience.
The thing I will miss most is the early morning feeding when they are so snuggly.
Has anybody else had to make this difficult decision?
Re: New to the group and very sad to be here
But, after talking to nurses and some of my friends who had to make the same decision, as well as doing some soul searching, I came to realize that I had done all I could do to make it work. And, in the end, taking care of my baby is what makes me a good mom, not whether or not I could EBF. And, I couldn't take care of her in the emotional state I was in. Costantly crying and feeling anxious all the time does not promote bonding, and I know she was feeling my tension, too.
Allow yourself to grieve over this for a while. But, in the end, if your babies are healthy, growing and happy, and you have some of your sanity back because it's one less thing o stress over, then you are doing the right thing.
Good luck!
For me, I personally achieved my original goals. I never thought I would make it to 15 weeks of nursing due to a pre existing medical condition. I stopped because I had to start taking some heavy duty antibiotics that weren't good for baby.
The other thing that helped me, too, is something I read in a blog - none of our children, when they get older, are going to judge our mothering based on whether or not they were EBF or not. I know I certainly don't care that I was bottle fed, and I wouldn't love my mom any more or differently if I had been breastfed.
First of all, HUGE HUGS. Its ok to mourn the loss of your breastfeeding relationship with your children. It is coming to an end, but a new beginning is starting. You are doing what you feel is best for your kids and THAT is great mothering. Bravo.
You can still have early morning cuddles when you wean! You just don't nurse during them. You just cuddle and squish.
With DD I had to wean because like you I couldn't keep up with her needs. It crushed me to give up on BF the first time. Like, profound feelings of failure and insecurity. It took me a long time and a lot of support to pull myself out of that hole and realize that I was listening to my instincts about what was best for my child as an individual. Also, really for me as an individual. I came to dread feedings with an amount of anxiety that was just not healthy. She'd cry to be fed and I'd just panic. I'd worry if her latch was right or if she would get enough. When she struggled to eat I just about broke down. It was not working and I decided it was best for all to go to formula. The change was AMAZING for both of us. We weren't wound up and crying all the time. We both slept better. It was the right choice for us at that time. I don't regret it.
I'm currently BF my son (no plans to wean) and my experience with him was so vastly different. You are doing what you feel is in the best interest of your family, but it is ok to feel upset about moving to the next stage of your feeding journey. Good luck to you.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
First of all, HUGE HUGS. Its ok to mourn the loss of your breastfeeding relationship with your children. It is coming to an end, but a new beginning is starting. You are doing what you feel is best for your kids and THAT is great mothering. Bravo.
You can still have early morning cuddles when you wean! You just don't nurse during them. You just cuddle and squish.
This gives me hope that it could be different next time. I too was unable to breastfeed. I did everything they said to do but in the end I didn't make enought milk and my baby couldn't latch. I pumped and gave her what little milk I had until I went back to work. I was so sad when I couldn't Breastfeed and like you I mourned it.i was afraid my baby wouldn't love me as much and we wouldn't bond, but now when I see the way she looks at me and smiles I know those things are not true.With DD I had to wean because like you I couldn't keep up with her needs. It crushed me to give up on BF the first time. Like, profound feelings of failure and insecurity. It took me a long time and a lot of support to pull myself out of that hole and realize that I was listening to my instincts about what was best for my child as an individual. Also, really for me as an individual. I came to dread feedings with an amount of anxiety that was just not healthy. She'd cry to be fed and I'd just panic. I'd worry if her latch was right or if she would get enough. When she struggled to eat I just about broke down. It was not working and I decided it was best for all to go to formula. The change was AMAZING for both of us. We weren't wound up and crying all the time. We both slept better. It was the right choice for us at that time. I don't regret it.
I'm currently BF my son (no plans to wean) and my experience with him was so vastly different. You are doing what you feel is in the best interest of your family, but it is ok to feel upset about moving to the next stage of your feeding journey. Good luck to you.
I have also found in some ways that bottle feeding allows me more of an ability to cuddle and interact while feeding my LO. And she gets bonding time with her daddy as well. Win!
Best of luck and let us know if we can help in any way.