Support needed

zmombie

i had a c section, I went off the meds at 4 days. Suffered thru the pain because.. Well I'm a recovering addict. Been sober for a couple years.. But you know the saying. So, I had a bunch of pills left over. I have been having problems with cysts.. Painful ones that swell up and make my stomach swell. Hard to move.. Ect.
Anyways! Went to my 6 week pp appointment yesterday and my doctor told me to go ahead and take the percocets when I'm in pain. So I did.. And I feel so out of it, and guilty.. Horribly guilty.
Anyone else recovering? I'll end up just dealing with the pain..

LibbyC730

I understand your reluctance, I think in your situation I'd want to just deal with the pain, too. Congrats on being sober and for wanting to stay that way. Please don't feel guilty for taking a medication as prescribed by your physician. Thoughts and prayers headed your way.

AziaNick

It's important that you let your body heal I am aware that you feel guilty BUT you know your body best, listen to your body if you can, don't take it BUT it's ok if you do. Look at your baby for motivation. Positive thoughts headed your way.

PurpleBookmark

Thoughts and prayers for you, that's a tough situation. I hate to hear you are in pain but I understand your feelings and reasoning to avoid the medication when possible. If the doctor is encouraging it then try not to feel guilty, you just went through major surgery and hopefully will be feeling better soon.

JLynnG86

I have been in recovery for two years and I had the same personal dilema. I struggled with taking the Percocet at first, but I was able to let go of some of the guilt after deciding to let my SO dispense them only as needed and to "keep me in check." I was able to let go of the guilt when it became impossible for me to abuse them because I didn't control them.

I am happy to know that there is another person in recovery around. If you ever need anyone to talk to, message me!

zmombie

Thank you so much ladies. The thoughts and prayers mean a lot. I wonder if I'm mentally creating the pain, so I can take them. If that makes sense.
And yes it does help to know there's others in recovery. I tried to find a group on here.. Because my situation is really hard. And unique I suppose. But thank you all so much for the support

zmombie

JLynnG86 said:

I have been in recovery for two years and I had the same personal dilema. I struggled with taking the Percocet at first, but I was able to let go of some of the guilt after deciding to let my SO dispense them only as needed and to "keep me in check." I was able to let go of the guilt when it became impossible for me to abuse them because I didn't control them.

I am happy to know that there is another person in recovery around. If you ever need anyone to talk to, message me!

Maybe you can understand this.. I take the meds and fight it. I panick and feel guilty. And drive myself into a panick attack. So then I sit in pain until I'm sure I'm in enough pain to need one.. And tell myself to just relax.. And then I find myself enjoying the meds and wanting to take them.

JLynnG86

I do understand. I did something similar to that and that's why I gave them to my SO- so he could hold me accountable. I took them on a timed schedule with him dispensing them only at those times and only in the correct dosage. Do you have anyone who can do that for you? I don't know about you but I couldn't trust myself to take them as directed and it helps to have someone there to help protect your sobriety.

tibi5

Would it be helpful to switch to something les addictive than Percocet? I had a c section 4 weeks ago and my doctor only had me on over the counter Tylenol the whole time. It is managing my pain well. Just a thought!

zmombie

@tibi5 I would benefit from taking something not as strong.. But because of my high tolerance to pain meds, they don't work as well. @JLynnG86 I don't really have anyone to hold onto them for me, because I'm afraid of being judged.. I only have a few pills left anyways.. I do take them as directed and never any more.. But I think sometimes I just take them routinely even if the pains not to bad.. So I will wait 6 or 7 hours to take them again. Or wait until I'm in a lot of pain. I'll also take half a pill. And if the pain don't fade, I'll take another half an hour later.. So I think I do okay keeping myself under control. It's just really frustrating.. Because I do love opiates.. And a part of me is sad I can't take them like I used to.. But I would so much rather have my baby then be high. And I just need to told on to that.. I'm also developing a food addiction to replace the past addiction... I'm afraid I'm going to get fat! I'm going to start going to NA meetings.. I think I need to. Now I remember why I clung to my cigarettes so hard. But I don't want to go back to that either. So even tho I'm controlling myself for now.. The mentality is still there.

JLynnG86

Well, I hate to say it, but we will probably have that mentality for the rest of our lives. And although I don't want to throw the program in your face, I definitely believe that we cannot do it alone. We have to create a strong support network to save us from ourselves. And as precious as our LOs are, we cannot rely on our love for them to keep us sober. Like I said, I am always willing to help- but you are making the right decision to find a group that understands exactly what you're going through.

zmombie

Exactly. I do agree I need to go to meetings. I do have the support of my mother.. But it's different. And I have a couple friends I talk to about it.. But there's only so much they can do. Meetings and treatment are like going to the gym. You have to work on your sobriety. You have to maintain a physique to stay sober.. You can talk about working out with your friends and family but it won't keep you in shape.

mfweeke91

Congrats on your sobriety. I also am in recovery. 2 years sober in September! Best thing I ever did. I had a c section and they didn't put the narcotics in my epidural and only have me ibuprofen 600 for pain after. I quit taking those the next day because I found walking around actually helped more than the ibuprofen. It was hard to not want something to help with the pain. I also had an abscess removed when I was pregnant and they wouldn't put me to sleep and I couldn't have anything for pain. That was rough too. Good luck. It's nice to know there's people who understand.