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2nd Trimester
xxarlannaxx
member
Slightly Annoyed....OK EXTREMELY ANNOYED!!
xxarlannaxx
member
hi everyone,
I'm just going to rant because I feel like I have to get this off my chest somewhere and if I unleash my frustrations to the people around me I'll end up seriously hurting some feelings and in reality as annoyed as I am with them I don't ever wish to hurt others.
To start, I am very excited about this pregnancy. This is baby #3 for me and, yes of course, I have some worries and concerns about how life will be after the baby arrives. However, I am well aware that everything will balance out and be perfectly fine and dandy once we adjust to the new schedules etc. I have no doubt that we'll be a happy, loving family. What frustrates me TO THE FULLEST is that nearly EVERYBODY in my life has made me second guess myself and my relationship at some point for a day or two because of their negative comments, questions etc regarding my relationship etc.
I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. My SO has no real family, has no children etc. I found out I was pregnant literally right before our year anniversary. We see each other often and my SO has always been the same great person I found him to be in the beginning. My other 2 children are from a previous relationship, he has met them, bonded with them, he clearly cares a great deal for their happiness and well-being etc and they adore him like no other.
We decided even BEFORE we found out we were expecting a baby that we were ready to bring our relationship to that next level and move in. Well he has been working his butt off at his regular job AND also picked up 2 side jobs and got us a house. We move in October. Since announcing it to friends and family there has been a handful of people just seemingly being so negative while trying to not seem like complete jerks by covering it up with "I only ask/say because I'm concerned". Well someone who is concerned brings it up once, gets their answer and moves on instead of CONSTANTLY bringing up the SAME QUESTIONS or saying the SAME remarks every time I show a smidge of excitement or happiness.
Example: "How do you know he'll still be such a great guy after? You never lived together? He'll change and you'll see he's not going to be the same." "What if he is not a good dad?" "How does he plan on taking care of all of you, I don't think he can, he's never had responsibility before. He can't work and take care of the baby" "You'll see! Just wait, you'll learn!"
Ummm? I'm well aware going from having no family to having a family of 5 is a HUGE adjustment. It obviously will be very new to him HOWEVER, he grew up without a close and happy family and to him family means everything, he's proved it with all the hard work and sacrifices made towards giving this pre-started family everything they never had. He knows it's a big change but he has made it clear he GENUINELY WANTS to be a family and make things work. There WILL BE CHANGES AND ADJUSTMENTS MADE...doesn't mean HE has changed in who he is? I know damn well we won't be going out on dates as often, I know there will not be random shopping sprees or fun trips out like before baby...it's common sense! And why oh why is everyone so hell bent on thinking I will want it all after the baby comes? Why would I expect him to be some sort of miracle worker and be at home 24/7 helping take care of all 3 kids but also somehow manage to earn the money it's going to take to pay all the bills and supply all the groceries, diapers, clothes, school supplies etc? We are a team! We do things together, find a way to keep things balanced, stable, healthy and happy in our home, we'll figure it out together. He's done as much as humanly possible on his end to help out, bond, care for, support, show love etc.
and wasn't parenting something that was totally new to all of us at some point? What did we do? WE DID OUR BEST AND FIGURED OUT WHAT WORKED FOR OUR FAMILIES! Children don't come with a manual. There's no ON/OFF switch, you live and you learn what's compatible and works. So why do people expect him to be different? Why such doubt? It's aggravating & depressing to the point I REFUSE to share any more information on any related subjects except for with my mom and grandmothers. Which in a way, they are also equally as frustrating because they are sooooo hung up on us getting married ASAP! Not due to religion or anything but they see he's got the best intentions and loves us and since we are expecting a baby it's just more excitement and "doing things right". They have wedding fever and keep asking "When will he propose?!"...how should I know that?? He'll do it when he's ready! We have so much on our plates right now we wouldn't even be able to enjoy anything and he'd be working even more than he is now which would ultimately end up killing him so let's just focus on the new house and the baby and uniting as a family....please!
Omg that felt good! Sore thumb now.
I'm just going to rant because I feel like I have to get this off my chest somewhere and if I unleash my frustrations to the people around me I'll end up seriously hurting some feelings and in reality as annoyed as I am with them I don't ever wish to hurt others.
To start, I am very excited about this pregnancy. This is baby #3 for me and, yes of course, I have some worries and concerns about how life will be after the baby arrives. However, I am well aware that everything will balance out and be perfectly fine and dandy once we adjust to the new schedules etc. I have no doubt that we'll be a happy, loving family. What frustrates me TO THE FULLEST is that nearly EVERYBODY in my life has made me second guess myself and my relationship at some point for a day or two because of their negative comments, questions etc regarding my relationship etc.
I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. My SO has no real family, has no children etc. I found out I was pregnant literally right before our year anniversary. We see each other often and my SO has always been the same great person I found him to be in the beginning. My other 2 children are from a previous relationship, he has met them, bonded with them, he clearly cares a great deal for their happiness and well-being etc and they adore him like no other.
We decided even BEFORE we found out we were expecting a baby that we were ready to bring our relationship to that next level and move in. Well he has been working his butt off at his regular job AND also picked up 2 side jobs and got us a house. We move in October. Since announcing it to friends and family there has been a handful of people just seemingly being so negative while trying to not seem like complete jerks by covering it up with "I only ask/say because I'm concerned". Well someone who is concerned brings it up once, gets their answer and moves on instead of CONSTANTLY bringing up the SAME QUESTIONS or saying the SAME remarks every time I show a smidge of excitement or happiness.
Example: "How do you know he'll still be such a great guy after? You never lived together? He'll change and you'll see he's not going to be the same." "What if he is not a good dad?" "How does he plan on taking care of all of you, I don't think he can, he's never had responsibility before. He can't work and take care of the baby" "You'll see! Just wait, you'll learn!"
Ummm? I'm well aware going from having no family to having a family of 5 is a HUGE adjustment. It obviously will be very new to him HOWEVER, he grew up without a close and happy family and to him family means everything, he's proved it with all the hard work and sacrifices made towards giving this pre-started family everything they never had. He knows it's a big change but he has made it clear he GENUINELY WANTS to be a family and make things work. There WILL BE CHANGES AND ADJUSTMENTS MADE...doesn't mean HE has changed in who he is? I know damn well we won't be going out on dates as often, I know there will not be random shopping sprees or fun trips out like before baby...it's common sense! And why oh why is everyone so hell bent on thinking I will want it all after the baby comes? Why would I expect him to be some sort of miracle worker and be at home 24/7 helping take care of all 3 kids but also somehow manage to earn the money it's going to take to pay all the bills and supply all the groceries, diapers, clothes, school supplies etc? We are a team! We do things together, find a way to keep things balanced, stable, healthy and happy in our home, we'll figure it out together. He's done as much as humanly possible on his end to help out, bond, care for, support, show love etc.
and wasn't parenting something that was totally new to all of us at some point? What did we do? WE DID OUR BEST AND FIGURED OUT WHAT WORKED FOR OUR FAMILIES! Children don't come with a manual. There's no ON/OFF switch, you live and you learn what's compatible and works. So why do people expect him to be different? Why such doubt? It's aggravating & depressing to the point I REFUSE to share any more information on any related subjects except for with my mom and grandmothers. Which in a way, they are also equally as frustrating because they are sooooo hung up on us getting married ASAP! Not due to religion or anything but they see he's got the best intentions and loves us and since we are expecting a baby it's just more excitement and "doing things right". They have wedding fever and keep asking "When will he propose?!"...how should I know that?? He'll do it when he's ready! We have so much on our plates right now we wouldn't even be able to enjoy anything and he'd be working even more than he is now which would ultimately end up killing him so let's just focus on the new house and the baby and uniting as a family....please!
Omg that felt good! Sore thumb now.
Re: Slightly Annoyed....OK EXTREMELY ANNOYED!!