MIL vent!!!! — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

MIL vent!!!!

I am 39 weeks prego with my 2nd and my oldest is 7 years. My Sis-in-law is prego and due in November. It was just announced that my MIL is throwing sis-in-law a baby shower appx 1 month before her baby is due (invites went out this week for a shower in October) All my immediate family is 9 hours away so they had a baby shower for me when I brought 1st baby back to my family's home (in laws weren't invited due to distance). I am assuming that I won't get one here from my MIL...I don't want to be pissed but I am really hurt and upset that I would be treated so differently than my sis-in-law and I am trying not to let this consume me but I'm having a hard time letting it go. Why would she send out invites with me due in a week? Why not at least wait until after? It makes me not want my MIL around after the baby is born as it's not about the stuff you get, but more so that I've been "brushed" aside as if I don't mean anything to this family because I really thought that we had a decent relationship, but obviously not!!

Re: MIL vent!!!!

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  • I'm confused, are you upset she's throwing your SIL a shower? Or because she sent out the invites a week before your due date? Either way I'm not seeing a big deal here... But I was slightly confused by the whole thing, either way I'm sorry your upset and I hope everything works out
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  • I agree with @ChristyM87 ... I wouldn't think too much into it. I'm sure her intentions are not to be hurtful or brush you off.

    Is your SIL her daughter? And is this her first baby?

    I wouldn't take this so personally.
  • Is this your SILs first baby? In my experience showers aren't usually thrown for a second baby so if that's the case maybe that's why she didn't throw you one? As for the invitations being sent out, maybe your MIl wants to get it done before you have your baby so she won't be distracted? Also maybe your SIL has family who needs to travel and needs time to plan?
  • I'm assuming it's your SIL first baby? If so then you have no reason to be mad. MIL is throwing a shower for a first time mom. You aren't a first time mom. Now if SIL is not a first time mom then I might think you are being treated differently and that could be upsetting.
  • Is there more back story to the relationship b/w you and your MIL that makes you feel it was meant to be hurtful?
  • Ya I'm totally confused. If you are butt hurt because the invites went out a week before your due I would side eye the crap out of that.

    If you are upset because MIL is throwing a first shower for daughter/ daughter in law. I don't understand because why shouldn't she?

    Maybe clarify a bit more?
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  • LaurmiLaurmi member
    Not a big deal. This is your second so no need for a shower. Try not to take it personally. If it's your MILs daughter that you're referring to then it definitely makes sense that she'd throw one for her own daughter and not you. Try not to look into it too much.
  • I don't necessarily agree with your frustrations. I wouldn't care if she sent invites out the week I was due. So what? And furthermore, people will be happy for you when your baby is born, but they will move on. Just like when they get yours SIL shower invites. You're being too sensitive. If she's a FTM (which I'm betting she is) let her have her moment. You had yours with your first. I have a cousin (whom I'm very close to) who is due a month after me and having her shower next weekend. I've totally let her have her glory and took a backseat to all things baby in our family. I'm totally ok with it.
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  • I agree with everyone else that you're over-reacting, especially if this is SILs first baby and double especially if she's MIL's own daughter. As for the invite timing, having a baby is sort of like having a wedding - you get one day, you don't get a monopoly on all family celebrating for 9+ months until baby arrives.
  • I'm confused on what you are even upset about? Are you upset that your mil is sending out invites around the time your baby is born? If so I think you are being ridiculous for being upset over that. People have babies all the time, not all about you and your baby. This isn't your first. Let your SIL take the front seat.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • itsdanikelitsdanikel member
    edited August 2015
    I don't know of anyone who assumes they should be showered for baby #2. But mehh what do I know. Unless you are just angry she is sending invites out so early?
  • Thank you! An outsiders perspective really helps to "balance" the crazy hormones! Obviously I'm being a little to sensitive to this. ;)
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