FFFC- Friday, July 31 - Page 2 — The Bump
February 2016 Moms

FFFC- Friday, July 31

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Re: FFFC- Friday, July 31

  • @MaybeMab I totally know what you're saying. I love my husband and son so much. Sometimes I envy my single friends or people who don't have kids. I miss that freedom. There are times I fantasize about getting a hotel room at the beach for a weekend all by myself. Do you consider yourself an introvert? I'm definitely one so I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I also don't have the best support system where I live which makes hard to have date nights with my husband, etc.

    Yes, I guess I would. I'm sure that has plenty to do with it. I also know for me, because my mom has my daughter every other week at her house I feel like I don't know how to parent my child.

    Adult hood and parenthood are hard work and I don't want to do either today. lol

    Shatzegirl
  • I sometimes wonder if I am raising a total brat. My son is about to turn 2.5 and I just feel like every day is an uphill battle that I can't win. I look at other kids playing happily at the park and then there is my son running around like a crazy person who can't keep his hands to himself. I can feel all those mommy eyes judging me and I can't help but feel like I am totally failing at this parenting thing. It really makes me question my ability to have a second. 

    Side Note Confession: It only took me three days to finish off an entire carton of Ben and Jerry's by myself. Yikes! 
    I feel like that very often. I bet most moms of toddlers do.
    lauren0571lilqt3929
  • I have another - I don't know if this is more of a UO but I'd rather be a working mom than a SAHM any day, it probably has something to do with my child being in daycare since he was 8 weeks old a little though. I love spending my time with him after work and on the weekend, but I am ready to go back to work on Monday every week also, I love my job and I look forward going to it most days. 

    Being a SAHM definitely is a lot of work but I just don't think I could do it to be honest. Also, I'm glad to see lots of moms of toddlers here question their parenting skills - I always wonder if my child is exceptionally naughty or normal, I think he is just really exhausted from daycare at the end of the day too so that could be playing a part in his behavior possibly. 


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  • FTM here so I can't comment on the most of the thread, but I think everyone experiences some degree of wondering if they're doing the right thing/made the right decision when it comes to staying home vs working. I'm sure you ladies are all doing a fantastic job and adapting each and every situation to work best for your own families!

    My confession:
    My husband and I both feigned having to work this weekend to get out of wedding related activities for his friend. I'm skipping the fiancée's shower, and he's missing a boys' day/night consisting of golf and the casino (is this not a bachelor party??)
    They've already had an engagement party, a Jack and Jill shower last weekend, and he's got an actual bachelor party on Thursday night; that's right, THURSDAY. Plus, the wedding is next weekend. Do they honestly thing no one has anything better to do than attend their 500 events?? And who do they think they are commandeering 3 of my weekends in a row over the summer??
    I don't even feel bad.

    ...maybe a little.
    acuteanglesDrillSergeantCat
  • I haven't worn makeup in like 6 weeks, I've just been way to tired to even attempt to get up in the morning and do anything other than throw on clothes, brush teeth and get DS ready to drop off at DC. Even before I used very little makeup, but today I totally just spent $534.62 on new makeup to add to my increasing collection (most of which has never been used) and had it shipped to my office so that when it arrives my H wont ask me what it is. I can secret it away in the car and sneak it into the house and he will never be the wiser. The sad thing is I don't even really have any desire to use any of it. Can everyone say impulse buy?

     
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  • lauren0571lauren0571 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2015
    I wonder about my toddler too. He has insane energy and he's a really physical kid. We go to library storytime and every other kid, no matter their age, is sitting and listening to the stories and singing along with the songs- my kid just wants to climb up and down the risers and spin around and jump and stuff. He can't sit still and listen, he has to be moving! But NO other kid is like this. How is that possible? He's not being naughty or disruptive, just busy. It makes me wonder.
    This! This is my son. We are not alone!

    @shatzegirl It's reassuring to read that I am not the only one going through this. Sometimes it can feel that way. Thanks for the suggestion, I will be looking for that book. I think "Spirited" is a much better way of putting it  ;)

    Edited Twice: Sorry. Once because it posted before I was finished. Second to change format (too many quotes).  
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  • VitaLuna said:
    I'd be pissed if my SO spent $500 on something without telling me. I think the term for it is financial infidelity.
    My H and I have our own separate spending accounts for this reason. I don't want to be annoyed about the $ he spends on fancy beer and golf stuff, he doesn't want to know what I spend on fabric. We have a joint account for everything else (we direct deposit 80/20 joint/personal)
    I guess I'm basing my opinion on the fact that she needs to hide it. 

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  • I've purchased things with my own money that when I brought home my husband gives me an eye roll and feels the need to lecture me on good spending habits so I can kind of see the need to hide it...
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    Married.....09/08/2012
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  • 500$ on makeup?! Jump back! I don't know if I'm outraged or jealous. ...

    Maybe I don't wear enough make up but what the heck do you get for that much?

    Every single possible thing and all new brushes... Maybe someone to come over and apply it all for you lol.
    jordans_wifelilqt3929
  • I've purchased some high priced makeup in the recent years (gotta love Ulta Rewards Perks!), but if I spend over $100 I start feeling guilty. If I'm spending $50 on a eyeshadow palette I make sure I use that sucker for all it's worth!
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    Married.....09/08/2012
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    bredoll
  • I'm 25 and I can confidently say I have spent less than $100 on makeup in my entire life

    Edit autocorrect typo

    I use the same eye shadow forever!! You don't need a gallon of that stuff! The only thing I replace regularly is mascara and coverup.

    Maybe that should be a Fffc: I have had the same eye shadows since high school. I have quite a few of them.
  • I use all of my make up far longer than I care to admit. I'm fully aware that mascara and brushes are supposed to be replaced...doesn't stop me!
    wisco29
  • wisco29 said:

    500$ on makeup?! Jump back! I don't know if I'm outraged or jealous. ...

    Maybe I don't wear enough make up but what the heck do you get for that much?

    Every single possible thing and all new brushes... Maybe someone to come over and apply it all for you lol.
    See if it was skincare shit I could see that cuz that stuffs spency. But I mean you could do some filler for 500$ and you wouldn't need the makeup! Lol! I spose if you got it that's cool:)
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  • I'm 25 and I can confidently say I have spent less than $100 on makeup in my entire life

    Edit autocorrect typo

    Haha I was thinking the same. Except I'm older so maybe more like less than $500 my entire life.

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  • #preggoproblems

    That looks so good. I'm totally going to the farmers market tomorrow to get a good pie!

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  • Fffc: the same crackers have been on the floor for 2 days. She has just been crushing them more and adding to them... Currently (from today) she added cereal, a crushed saltine, and mini teddy Grahams!

    No intentions of cleaning it up today. I will tomorrow
    tooba22
  • I haven't worn makeup in like 6 weeks, I've just been way to tired to even attempt to get up in the morning and do anything other than throw on clothes, brush teeth and get DS ready to drop off at DC. Even before I used very little makeup, but today I totally just spent $534.62 on new makeup to add to my increasing collection (most of which has never been used) and had it shipped to my office so that when it arrives my H wont ask me what it is. I can secret it away in the car and sneak it into the house and he will never be the wiser. The sad thing is I don't even really have any desire to use any of it. Can everyone say impulse buy?


    Eek. That's a lot to not tell him about. If you're hiding it, I'm assuming it's because you know he would be upset. I think it's totally ok to treat yourself once in a while and you should be allowed to spend money on yourself- but hiding it isn't ok. 
    I think a conversation needs to happen about finances in your house. Maybe you can agree on a number  (or percentage) you can each set aside every month for "guilt-free" purchases. Maybe it's $50, maybe it's $200 -- depends on your finances-- and you can spend this money, however you want, no questions asked. But, on the flip side, you have to agree not to be sneaky and hide anything in the future. 

    This is financial infidelity and it can be really damaging to a relationship. Just wanted to give some friendly advice because it's a bad habit to get into. 

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  • VkrosaVkrosa member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I am a cranky crazy bitching mama today. I have yelled at my kids more than I want to so I took a timeout! My youngest won't stop talking my oldest is pre-teen hormonal. H is not wanting to be here so he's not home. I'm loosing my gosh dang mind!!!! I swear some days I want to get in the car and drive away. But then I realize I am the only thing right now my kids have and it sucks but I have to suck it up and be here. Not sure how much more I can do alone before I breakdown.
  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2015
    My mom and I have a strained relationship. It used to be ok about 10 years ago but has deteriorated over the years. I had a rocky childhood with her. I honestly believe she has narcissistic personality disorder for a variety of reasons. She's been texting me non-stop lately complaining about this and that. Being so dramatic. She's driving me absolutely nuts. I wish she'd just back off.

    She doesn't seem to give a crap that I'm pregnant or has shown any excitement about a new baby. Probably because the baby would take the attention away from her. She has shown in passive aggressive ways that she's threatened/jealous of my son. It's disgusting and heartbreaking.

    I wish things would change but I've pretty much lost hope that they will. She's just so far-gone. Sometimes I wish she'd cut me out of her life like she did with all of her friends but I know she won't. It's like she wants to pull me down with her. It's so hard to deal with and I feel emotionally drained...

    We're going to be on a trip near where she lives in a few weeks but I'm not going to tell her. Even though she hasn't seen her grandson in almost a year. I just don't need the drama while I'm on vacation. I feel a little guilty about it but I need to take care of my needs. And I NEED a good vacation, dang it!
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  • I haven't worn makeup in like 6 weeks, I've just been way to tired to even attempt to get up in the morning and do anything other than throw on clothes, brush teeth and get DS ready to drop off at DC. Even before I used very little makeup, but today I totally just spent $534.62 on new makeup to add to my increasing collection (most of which has never been used) and had it shipped to my office so that when it arrives my H wont ask me what it is. I can secret it away in the car and sneak it into the house and he will never be the wiser. The sad thing is I don't even really have any desire to use any of it. Can everyone say impulse buy?


    I have a friend who does this. It drives me nuts, but I rarely wear makeup. 

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  • @wisco29 yesterday my niece smashed a bunch of Fritos into my rug. I have no intentions of cleaning it until she goes home and that will most likely be Sunday.
  • To the lady buying all the makeup. Hope you start wearing makeup soon! Seems like a lot of $ for somebody that doesn't want to wear it! I can't imagine spending that kind of money on makeup and not telling my H seems sneaky...I would however give all my $ for the pie that was posted (priorities) YUM!
  • PaniaOPaniaO member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    I don't eat regular ice cream, but I have ZERO doubts that I could easily polish off an entire pint of coconut ice cream right this minute and still eat a spoonful of peanut butter afterward--before dinner--without struggling. I have indeed eaten straight cacao nibs with peanut butter or ridiculously delicious chocolate bars (e.g. coconut-ash+banana; reishi mushroom) nightly for weeks now, BTW. ;)

    Also, I am definitely jealous of SAHMs, even though I've always been stupidly snarky about the importance of a graduate education and having a professional career. I'm not even a mom yet, but I was thinking earlier this week that my FFFC should be that I wish I could just become a SAHM from the get-go without suffering any repercussions (financial, social, etc.). The truth is I would give it all up in an instant if I could get away with it without any financial impact whatsoever. I would happily write articles that never sell or settle for part-time philanthropic involvements if I felt the need to produce something of value. No prob.
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  • PaniaO said:

    I don't eat regular ice cream, but I have ZERO doubts that I could easily polish off an entire pint of coconut ice cream right this minute and still eat a spoonful of peanut butter afterward--before dinner--without struggling. I have indeed eaten straight cacao nibs with peanut butter or ridiculously delicious chocolate bars (e.g. coconut-ash+banana; reishi mushroom) nightly for weeks now, BTW. ;)

    Also, I am definitely jealous of SAHMs, even though I've always been stupidly snarky about the importance of a graduate education and having a professional career. I'm not even a mom yet, but I was thinking earlier this week that my FFFC should be that I wish I could just become a SAHM from the get-go without suffering any repercussions (financial, social, etc.). The truth is I would give it all up in an instant if I could get away with it without any financial impact whatsoever. I would happily write articles that never sell or settle for part-time philanthropic involvements if I felt the need to produce something of value. No prob.

    Same here re: being a SAHM
    I know it's hard work but I'd love it more than working out of the house I think. I'd make it my job to produce my family's life lol. Only reason I'd feel guilty is for ths 200k college education that my mom worked so hard to pay for (and is still paying for).
    I feel like some parents give up so much for their kids to become successful in careers - agonizing over homework, college prep courses, perfecting the essay, etc. that I'd be disappointing my mom if I didn't have a job that she can brag to her friends about.
    I know she would never, ever admit to being disappointed but I'd always worry she would be. She always says she just wants me to be happy.
    I'm just saying that because she placed so much emphasis on academics. I'm 100% not saying SAHM are disappointing to their parents in any way. It's seriously one of the most important jobs you can have.

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  • I struggle with the SAHM thing, too. I definitely don't have to return to work after the baby is born financially, and a big part of me thinks that it would be best to be a SAHM, but I worry about it too. I worry about feeling isolated and I worry about feeling like I'd be wasting my education (mostly the money I spent on it, to be honest), and work that I've put into my career. I'm leaning towards staying home for a while then re-entering the work force when I feel like it (months? years?). I'm so thankful to have this flexibility but it is hard to make the right choice. I of course want to make the right choice for my child but also for me! It's a tough one.


    Jellybelly119
  • pbtoast said:

    I struggle with the SAHM thing, too. I definitely don't have to return to work after the baby is born financially, and a big part of me thinks that it would be best to be a SAHM, but I worry about it too. I worry about feeling isolated and I worry about feeling like I'd be wasting my education (mostly the money I spent on it, to be honest), and work that I've put into my career. I'm leaning towards staying home for a while then re-entering the work force when I feel like it (months? years?). I'm so thankful to have this flexibility but it is hard to make the right choice. I of course want to make the right choice for my child but also for me! It's a tough one.

    Exactly what I am feeling!
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    pbtoast
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