Introduction (loss mentioned)

MntnGirl

Hello! TTC #1 for about 1-2 years (2yrs without a goalie, 1yr with tracking and intent). Now over 40. Everything checks out with DH, and RE says my ovaries/reserve look good, but I have a blocked tube (spotted on HSG). Had a CP the month I OV'd on the side of the blocked tube right after it was diagnosed, so it's less of a concern to us. CP was bittersweet because it was the most PG we'd ever been, but it was physically awful. It was also the first month we really "tried." Every month since is an obsessive cycle of charting and pacing the BD. And AF is the same every month, but I still am tempted to POAS the first or second day just in case it's implantation blood. We are likely going to do IVF, but I am not looking forward to the process and I am interested in reading more stories of 40+ TTC naturally and with IVF. Thank you all for sharing your most personal journey.

emsmama15

Welcome @MntnGirl.  Have you tried other options - medicated TI cycles?  IUI?  I'm curious why the jump right to IVF?  Especially if the tube isn't completely blocked since you had a CP.  I can tell you a lot about those things, but haven't done IVF yet and natural just doesn't work for me.  There are many ladies on this board though who are in their late 30s and 40s and TTC naturally.  Good luck!!

Tomerine

Welcome! I'm sorry for your loss. I also understand the "is this AF or implantation?" conundrum bc my period starts as spotting every month and every month I see it start and am dubiously hopeful. It's so frustrating. Good luck as you move forward!

thistle8677

Welcome and best of luck to you!
Very sorry for your loss and hope that you find some healing & support here.
We've got a great group of women

AMDR1979

Welcome! We are most likely doing IVI once we get DH sperm count up.

MntnGirl

Thanks, @emsmama15. We have not tried other options. My cycle is regular, hormone levels are "normal" and I am ovulating. DH has excellent S. Both OB and RE recommended jumping to IVF because I had never gotten PG and I'm 40 and there aren't any other obvious reasons for IF. The CP was a surprise to all. One tube is completely blocked, but it doesn't matter which side you OV on - ovum can be picked up by either tube (OB referred to research explaining this, RE wasn't aware). Yay! That was a year ago. I'm embarrassed to say the first year without protection our technique was problematic. After fertility check-ups and consults we changed technique and had CP first month TTC, but nothing since. I'll be 41 soon, and unless OB and new RE (last one had horrible bedside manner) suggest otherwise, we agree that jumping to IVF is the best option for us because of timeframe and we'd like more than one child. In the past two years we have not made TTC a priority. Like others have posted, we have taken time off TTC for events and even whole seasons. I feel guilty about that (on top of choosing to wait until AMA). We have found a new RE after a year of half-heartedly searching and we are going to TTC naturally for a few more months because the IVF process (like all IF treatments, I'm sure) is so invasive (I'm strangely shy when it comes to medical care and would prefer to avoid it all together). I'm looking forward to reading more about your journey. I've already learned a few things from posts and am very appreciative of everyone sharing their experiences.

MntnGirl

Thank you, @Tomerine. DH has pointed out that every month I say AF is starting differently than normal, but then realize it is exactly the same as the prior months. Taking better notes has helped. I think because the CP started like a regular AF it's given me hope (and anxiety).

Knottie16743552

Wait! @MntnGirl ! Tell us more about "improper" BD techniques. Maybe that's our problem...

MntnGirl

Knottie16743552 We haven't had a PG again after CP for a year so the changes we made may not have been a magic solution, but they can't hurt. This may be a little graphic, and silly. I learned that eggwhite cervical mucus has a purpose, other than being and OV indicator. Before, I thought I needed to swipe out everything between BD to have a clean slate because I imagined sperm getting lost in lubricant and other muck. Now, instead of closely examining my CM daily (lol), I just leave everything alone. I didn't know that EWCM controls pH so sperm can survive in our otherwise acidic environment, provides food for the sperm, or that the stringiness provides safe freeway-like pathways for sperm to travel. We also stopped using all commercial lubricants. OB said that we shouldn't believe the promises of the conception/fertility lubes and recommended going without. We can't do that so she suggested olive oil. It's great - just a few drops and it doesn't dry out, get grainy, or irritate. And finally, we confirmed that my belly button serves no purpose in conception. Kidding about that last part, but I hope it makes the rest seem less...duh!

dolphin012

Welcome MntnGirl! Sorry about your loss. I am 42. We started trying naturally at 39, we did a few cycles of meds plus TI and one IUI before doing IVF. In retrospect wish we had skipped the meds and TI or at least done fewer cycles and started ivf sooner. Not too long after we started ttc naturally i had to take 8 months off to deal with a medical issue (not fertility related). I believe that if we hadn't had this blip and done ivf sooner we would have had more success - sooner at least (not that it hasn't been unsuccessful yet -- still have frozen embryos to transfer . 

MntnGirl

Thank you, @dolphin012. I've been watching for your posts. I'm almost 41 and that will be the cut off for naturally TTC and pursuing IVF. The RE we saw a year ago seemed surprised by my ovaries/reserve (after giving us really dismal stats and making us feel horrible for waiting as long as we have). So I am hopeful about IVF and this forum is helping with what to expect.