Relationship with SO

ldmw

What is your relationship like with your SO now that baby had arrived? We were solid at first but now we are terrible. We both can't stand each other. It's a long list of petty issues causing us problems.

jodi1008

What are the issues you're having?

blairdavis99

Up & down: good days, bad days, & some terrible days.

odawg

Talk them out. I sometimes want to punch my husband across the city but after I think about it I realize either im nuts or he just does not understand and I jumped to anger before making sure he understands. Its a whole new life style and unfortunately it tends to change a moms life way faster and more intense. Not saying dads dont do anything but its different (def if your breastfeeding). Guys need time out to though. Tell him to go hang with a friend for a little...then you get some free time

jame1380

We have gotten worse too. My fuse seems so much shorter now. I have almost no patience for him and things that didn't bother me much before the baby. He is very helpful but when I'm washing bottles and he asks me to hand him the burp cloth that is barely out of his reach, I lose it. We have good days so I'm hoping things will get better.

justkeeptrying

We have good days and bad days but I feel like overall things are improving. Compared to the first few weeks when I had the baby blues and was crying on a daily basis, things are a lot better now. I feel like as we get more on a consistent schedule things will get better.

Most important thing I think is to talk to your SO. And don't forget that this is a huge change for them too. Especially if it's their first child. I sometimes have to remind myself that even though I'm the one that's home, DH has also had a huge change in his schedule. He's an introvert and just craves time by himself. When he comes home from work and I need a break from DS, it's really hard for him to immediately jump into dad mode because he's used to having some downtime first. This is an area that we continue to find challenging but it's improving.

mars8k

Somedays i want to cuddle with him all day long others i don't want to see him or even smell him. I feel unappreciated and that he doesn't do anything for dd except play with her 2 min a day, we dont have anyone to take care of dd atm and he now hates going out with me cause we have to take care of dd there, sorry "I" do! I feel like a single mother, seriously nothing would change if he wasn't around

PSMITH1286

My SO exactly. Drives me nuts Bc when he's at work I do it all. He acts so helpless.

MrsElizabethPlano

Second baby is a lot easier, but I still get pissed off with him for not helping or giving me and the kids more attention. I just have to calm down and tell or ask him to do things. He never has done these things without me asking so there's no reason he should start now. I dislike having to ask/tell him to watch baby while I shower or give him a week notice when I wanna do something because he does what ever when ever, but it's our dynamic and while it's fine to mention it, it's not okay to fly off the handle on him. And I feel ya on the "nothing would change if he weren't around". But since he is around I get to be a stay at home mom and even though it gets hard and stressful, it's what I want In a perfect world though....he'd come home from work and play with our toddler while I finished cooking dinner and then he'd get them both to sleep while I took a nice long bubble bath.

JenTyz41

We have similar issues. First month, I was super emotional/baby blues. He was very patient and helpful then. And now in the second month, we've had some ups and downs - he goes to work all day, comes home, and doesn't understand why I'm handing him the baby to go to the restroom etc. I seemed to have zero patience on some days, and other I'm ok. We've also had some moments where we are short or snippy in conversation also, causing an argument. (We rarely argued pre-baby - I can count on one hand all of the fights we've had in 4 years before). I think now that DD is sleeping more and I am getting more rest, it is helping. I also have been forcing myself to go out out everyday - to go for a walk or to the grocery store (went 3x last week) to be out with people (I've been jealous that he gets to see and interact with adults too). I think it's getting better, and I hope you see progress soon!