My mom has mentioned that she and my aunt are doing my shower (Listen, it wasn't an offer it was a declaration. But I don't live with my parents, and I read on here that it's ok for her to throw it then). Anyhoo, my family is HUGE. When I say my family, I mean MY family and that is not including my FH's family. FMIL claims she will be throwing us a shower for "her" people. To give you all an idea of how big my family is: My Sweet 16 was OVER 300 people, subtract about 50 (give or take) and then it's all family. ALL blood or by marriage, no divorces or separation and re-marriages, family. So, I've read 100000000x on here that huge showers are rude and tacky. I'm concerned about this. My mom and aunt are big on family. Is there a way we can do this without it being a million people with gifts and my opening them? Games will take forever, people getting food will take years, and my mom will get the side eye. Is there something that I can suggest to them? I just don't want all their planning to go to waste. Help!! (Culturally you invite everyone, but logistically and according to the etiquette I have been learning via the bump, I am concerned)
Re: Huge Family... Help!
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
But, I did have one friend (with her MIL and SIL - both of whom are owners of the family business DH works for). It was funny actually. My friend called up my mom that morning and asked what time the shower was. Mom felt bad bc she didn't invite my friend, but assumed she would go to my work shower (which she did). But she's not the type of person who would have even been hurt about no invitation. She's sweet and just wanted to be there.
I have only seen this once, but I did see a request for guests to bring gifts unwrapped - just with a bow/card and they could be shown without taking a long time to unwrap. The mom did still share/show and recognize ppl 1 at a time, but much faster since she didn't have wrapping paper. I know that was done back when my parents and grandparents got married, but I don't know how ms. Manners would look at it now. But the invite said how it would allow more time to visit with guests, which it truly did.
1- DON'T do games! Really. Games are absolutely NOT necessary and if they are only going to suck up time, skip them. I really have never understood why a group of adult women "need" games anyhow!
2- Food - I'd try to set it up in a way that the food is out, self serve, and direct people to grab some food when they show up.
3- Gift opening - I really don't feel there is anyway around this. All I can suggest is to have people hand you the gifts and then take them from you. And YOU need to be quick. I don't mean tear the paper off and look at the gift and throw it to the side, BUT don't read long notes in the cards (do it later). just see who it's from, open the gift quickly (rip the paper, dont' be dainty), hold the gift up for people to see, look at the person, thank them genuniely and then move on.
I have a friend who would be dainty about the gift and then the MOMENT anyone started talking, she'd stop to listen. No. Don't stop. You can look at a person who is talking while also passing a gift off, getting the next gift and starting to open in. Multi-task, basically!!
Just keep it moving, be effiecient, and just move on. TRUST ME - in the end, people really only care about seeing THEIR gift opened. They aren't worried about all the others.