New here - first miscarriage

jvwhite

ive never posted before but just had my first mc at 7 weeks with my first pregnancy. It was far more painful than I expected - both physically and emotionally. I went back to the doctor who confirmed that we did have a complete miscarriage. It was such a shock - Friday morning I had some spotting so we went to doctor and saw the baby and heartbeat & we were so relieved and have never been happier than in that moment. Unfortunately right after that the doctor said she wasn't comfortable with the amount of blood she saw on exam and told us she anticipated a mc soon. It's amazing how quickly things can change. At this point I'm glad the worst of the physical pain is over and am looking forward to getting back on track and trying again. How soon following MC did you start TTC again? Emotionally I feel ready - going through this just made us realize even more how badly we want to be parents.

fairygirl86

I'm sorry for your loss. My doctor said a week after the miscarriage think it depends on what your doctor's says, we tried but didn't succeed the first month had my period 48 days after miscarriage now trying to conceive this month we will see in a couple weeks if I get pregnant this month.

ceclarlinetlo

I'm also new to this board but this is my second loss. After my first D&C at the end if january 2015and we were told to wait one cycle to try agin so after I got my period back at the beginning of March we started trying again.

We got pregnant for the second time our third month trying after my D&C but unfortunately I just had to have another D&C today.

For some reason this time I am more conflicted about trying again this time. Because I don't have regular cycle lengths I put a lot of effort into ttc previously (taking bbt, OPKs, tracking cm) and I am not sure I am ready for all that again - so much work when all I seem to get in the end is loss after loss.

MamaBish

I'm so sorry for your loss. Deciding to ttc again is often a tough thing to do. My loss was at a later stage so we were told to wait at least 3 months before ttcal. Wishing you the very best of luck!

Plleriti1

Oh girls, I'm so so sorry you're experiencing this. I too have had two miscarriages. One 8 months after giving birth (blighted ovum that time) and the second this past May at 9 weeks after seeing and hearing a healthy heartbeat. It hurts. A lot. But in my case- we just keep on trying. I don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant but my "carrier" feels broken. And it's defeating. But I also understand that it's common. And there's a lot more girls out there like us! In fact I can name 6 other friends that have each had 2 miscarriages each. It's a club I never wanted to join but at least there's a lot of support in this club!

jvwhite

@fairygirl86 - I'll be sending tons of positive vibes your way. Best of luck!!

jvwhite

@ceclarlinetlo - I totally understand. My husband and I have been talking and while we want to try again, if I do miscarry again I'm not sure I will want to keep going. At the very least we would probably take some time off. It's much more painful ( physical & emotional) than we were prepared for.

jvwhite

@Plleriti1 - it does feel better to know we aren't alone! I have endometriosis and while we are lucky I got pregnant so easily we worry that actually being able to carry a pregnancy may be our problem.

valleric

I mc on 4/19 at 9w. We had tried for a year. We started trying again after my first cycle.

SonyaL9

Hi all, I'm three weeks post first miscarriage and mentally I feel ok, still some back pain etc but otherwise ok, I feel like as soon as I get my period again I'll definitely be ready to try.. But then in same breathe I do get consumed by the fear of miscarrying again, I know I just have to face whatever happens but I feel like I've read so many sad stories on here where it's happened twice in a row and maybe more before trying again will get there eventually I know I just find the whole picking self up and going again really scary.. X

spatter1

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. We started as soon as we got the OK from my doctor. Like you said, going through this experience only made us realize just how badly we want to be parents. Good luck!!

KerryS1009

I am new here as well. My doctor told me to wait until I have 2 periods before we can try again. I am (not so) patiently waiting for AF to make her first visit post D &C.

taraemerald11

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks a year ago, it was also my first pregnancy so I know exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through. We waited a few months to start trying just because it was such an emotional and physical journey to go through (not to mention my period took some time to return). We have since been trying since December (almost 9 months) and it is still emotionally draining. The best words of advice someone gave me, and what keeps me hopeful is it just means that that special person isn't ready to come just yet

folamiji

I'm so sorry for your loss. I miscarried earlier this week at 7.5wks. I'm dealing with the physical and emotional pain now, but my husband and i have decided to TTC within the next 3 wks. My Dr. Said medically speaking she should tell me wait 3 months but said waiting 2 weeks was fine. I've had irregular periods in the past but considering we conceived naturally my Dr doesn't anticipate additional problems. I wish the best of luck and baby dust to those beginning the TTC journey again. We can get through this, but we all have to heal. ❤️

edonnegan5297

My heart truly breaks for you, we lost our first child due to a mmc at 9 weeks, shortly after we had seen our little ones heartbeat. I began to show signs of the mc at 11 weeks and like you, I was totally unprepared for the amount of pain I'd experience. Through all of this we've learned just how precious every little moment is. We are in the 2 week wait right now. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to wall through this

CarmelFairey

I respect your candor and tone. This is such a traumatic experience but not without hope.

SonyaL9

Hi all,
I'm in same boat so just wanted to say hi and share my experience. I miscarried on the 10th July and chose the natural way, on the 23rd I finally passed the sac and almost instantly
felt my body lift and seem to get closure, the bleeding carried on for a week and then stopped. Today is day 15 with no bleed and I'm hoping my period is back end of next week and can start to get back on track.
My partner and I want to ttc straight away but I seem to have had so many opinions about how long should wait not just from docs but also family, friends colleagues etc that I feel like if were to get pregnant quickly everyone will be convinced it's too soon and doomed from the start. In our hearts we don't want to wait it's just the learning to ignore everyone else I guess and keep this second run so much more private! Lots of love to everyone going through this and hope we all get our happy endings soon xx

pupluv0410

I had my 1st m/c June 30th. My first period after just started yesterday and we plan on trying this cycle. Good luck everyone! ☺

amyeva1989

Hi girls. Love to you all. We'll all be ok and get our happy endings I'm sure.

I had a natural MC last month. Began spotting on 5th July and bled for 15 days.

My AF came on 1st Aug and lasted for 2 weeks. We are now going to let nature take its course & hope for the best x

fara4

Hi ladies, had an MC in January.. Doc advised us to wait for three cycles before TTC. We've been trying since April.. Hoping for a miracle soon.. All the best to you all...

bjornbear

Sorry to hear of all your losses and wishing you next time round goes smoothly. I started spotting last Monday and went for an ultrasound Friday. They said they thought it'd be absolutely fine but there was no heartbeat and they assume it stopped growing at 6-7 weeks. I was 9 weeks 5 days. I will go for a repeat ultrasound next week just to double check. I havnt bled much yet and am nervous of what to expect as I don't want work to find out and can't take time off work easily (currently waiting to see if I've got a permanent contract so don't want them to know of any pregnancy plans). Any advice on what I can expect and how to cope at work? I am a veterinarian so my job is very active. Plus have white scrub bottoms Hoping you say it is possible to work!!

kristijeankuhns

I just mc this week with my first pregnancy. I was 5.5 weeks. It's been a natural mc and the nurse said I only need to see the dr if I start having complications. She also said to keep the appointment I already had scheduled for the 11th to get checked out to make sure everything's ok and find out when we can ttc again. I was all over the place about having a child before this, but this experience has humbled me and made me realize just how badly I want a child. Hope everyone is holding up well. I'm heartbroken right now but getting through it day by day.

Knottie1432264442

I had a d&c July 20 and got my first period August 24. We were advised by our doctor to not start trying again until after the next cycle but I will be trying as soon as that happens. So sorry for your loss

DrKariC

So sorry for your loss. I didn't take any time off work for mine, but was already bleeding a little when I found out. Baby stopped growing around 6 weeks, I started bleeding at 7w1d, took cytotec at 9w3d but it didn't work, and just passed the sac (in the middle of my PICU shift in the hospital) last night at what would have been 10w2d. The bleeding has been similar to a period and like I said I've been able to work the whole time. Everyone's different though, and I did take the cytotec on a day off but like I said I had cramping but didn't bleed much with it. Some people need time off emotionally too so take care of yourself.

britmendz

Hi everyone,

My husband and i just went through my first ever MC. I choose to do it naturally because i felt like the right thing to do for me. I bled a lot at work on the 8th of this month and was told i was in the beginning stages of an MC.

Finally on the 17th I passed everything, up until then it was just a heavy period. And oh my geez, it was so painful (physically) i had my water break, i was having contractions. I was literally giving birth in my home and that mental pain was probably worse than all the pain combined. And my poor hubby just sitting with me looking beyond lost.

Its been 2 weeks as of tomorrow and im terrified to try again. Idk if I can handle all those emotions again, let alone my husband. He wants to try again ASAP but im a little skeptical. Our doc said for us to wait one full cycle. But that i could get preggos almost immediately. That it was my choice. Idk what I want to do yet.

(Sorry for the long post)

allishally13

Hi, I just went through a natural mc yesterday followed by a d&c as my body was still in pain and having contractions. It was the most painful and scary day of my life. We found out Monday at 9 weeks 1 day that my spotting was due to the baby not growing after 7 weeks 5 days. We had seen the heartbeat at 6 wks 3 days.

My dh wants to try again as soon as possible, which my doctor said 2-3 cycles to be safe as the closer to a mc you get pregnant, the more likely you are to miscarry again. I know I want to try again as I want a baby so badly, but the pain of yesterday was excruciating... I can't imagine going through that again. Fx that everything goes well next time. Good luck to you all as well.

fsuswim

I am so sorry, ladies! This is so tough. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage on August 28 and I was at 7.5 weeks. It was very physically painful that week. I wasn't even thinking about how sad I was. After my physical pain ended the emotional pain kicked in. Now I've had my first period (exactly 4 weeks after my miscarriage date) and I'm finally feeling optimistic about trying again. My doctor recommended waiting 2 cycles. We will be trying then!

winnie1122

Oh girls, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Miscarriage sucks so bad. I'm so sorry you are all in the middle of it and had to go through it at all. I do love that through the pain, hope for motherhood just grows deeper. It's what has kept me going through each one of my losses and what adds so much appreciation for the preciousness of life. My husband and I have also drawn so much closer going through all of this together. As to trying again, I would just say to wait until you feel ready..don't push it. The first pregnancy is so innocently sweet and optimistic. I didn't realize how different it would be the second time. I was thrilled, of course, to get a bfp, but I was terrified the whole time and I found it much harder to deal with the second loss. It's different for everyone, some are so ready right away, but I wasn't. Let yourself heal as much as you need. Hugs to all of you!

mrsmommya

@winnie1122  Why can't we just take things one day at a time?!  I tell myself this everyday, but no matter I still find myself saying "WHAT IF?"  I am so terrified of another loss.  I am not sure I will be able to handle it nearly as well.

winnie1122

@mrsmommya I can't speak for everyone, but I don't know that that fear is avoidable. It's just one of those things that you have to take a day at a time for sure. Every time I have gone through a loss, I think, "I never want to do this again. It's too hard." And then I just do. When I feel ready again. I just try to make sure to take care of my heart and my husband's heart in the process. But you are so right, sometimes the best thing is just to go a day at a time. Hugs to you! 

AnanaFox

I think there are a lot of factors in how long to wait before ttc. I have lost 8 babies, both first and second trimester and was told after my last loss (a second trimester premature birth for no reason-labor is what killed him) to wait 6 months before trying. I'm not sure I can handle another loss. However, if you feel like trying, I say start trying! (it is a rule of thumb to wait one cycle though to reduce risk of another loss) Try away!