Who did you have in the delivery room? — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Who did you have in the delivery room?

I will be having my first child in December. My mother passed away last July, so my aunt has stepped up and has definitely helped me feel not so "mother-less".

My question is, should I have my aunt in the delivery room? My husband is for it, I'm just not sure if I will regret not having it just him and me. Or that having my aunt will make me feel more uncomfortable than I think I will.

For those who had their mother or motherly figure, any regrets?

Re: Who did you have in the delivery room?

  • This will be our third delivery. For our first born, we did everything very privately. Only my husband and I were in the delivery room and I'm glad we went that route.
    With our second , (daughter) we still only had my husband and I because I gave birth to her in the middle of the night.
    This time around, I'm being induced again (same as my son) and will be letting my mother and mother in law in the delivery room. I feel comfortable with it. I don't regret any way I've done it so far.
    I would say if your husband is on board, then go for it. If you don't really lean one way or another as far as having her, maybe it should just be you and your husband. I'd just go with your gut on this.

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    kaitlinforrest
  • My 1st baby, My mom, sister, and husband.  The 2nd was my sister and husband (my mom was watching my in waiting room) and this 3rd time, it will be my mom and my sister because my husband is a baby when it comes to blood and needles lol

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  • My husband an I want.to make this private delivery but his family are very upset about his choice....
  • Just hubs and staff. When I got settled in post-partum I skyped w mom and sister. Everyone else met baby when I came home.
  • Just DH. I didn't want anyone else there until we had a few hours to ourselves as a family. My in laws came about two hours after delivery for just 30 minutes and returned the next day. My mom didn't visit until we went home.

    You really don't need anyone but your husband there. If you really want your aunt there, ask her, but it sounds like that's not the case and you're just trying to fill an additional support person slot, which is unnecessary.
    Me: 37 DH: 37
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

  • My husband couldn't be in the OR with me and my family lives way out of town so my MIL was in there with me. I had no regrets she was very comforting to have in there with me. I think if your aunt is that important to you then it won't be uncomfortable, that being said you shouldn't feel like you owe it to her, only include her if you really want to.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Last time I had DH, my mom, my midwife and her assistant (a certified doula). This time, my mom will be home with my toddler so it'll be DH and our doula plus whatever staff the hospital sends in. I didn't expect my mom to be there the whole time last time but I don't regret it. It was really special for her and she's very close with my daughter.
  • I asked my mom to come to the hospital when I go into labor. Not knowing how long this will take, or what I'll really need, I decided I'd like to have a backup/compliment to DH. She provides a different kind of comfort for me, so I'm glad I'll have extra support.
  • I'm in the same boat.  My mom passed away a year ago last week and just last night we started talking about who to have in the room.  DH and I for sure but my sister is 700 miles away and in college.  My best gf would probably love to be in there but I'm not sure.  I love her to death and she's super supportive but I really just want my mom :'(
  • We are having a homebirth. I am hoping none of my family even knows when labor starts, we don't want anyone to be aware until baby is already here. As far as delivery it will be me of course ;) , DH, and our two midwives, possibly one nurse. I'm extremely private and shy, as close as I am with my mom and sister, I don't even want them in the same town while I'm giving birth lol. DH prefers family to not even know we are in labor which is almost impossible. So my plsn is to let family know when it starts then turn off our phones until we are done. This seems to be the most realistic approach.
  • This is my first and we asked my MIL to be there. She has a very calming affect on both of us. My sister mentioned she would love to be there and I have told her that would be great. My mother that raised me (I am adopted) lives in Florida and has alzheimers and doesn't speak to me so she wouldn't be there and my biological mother who I was very close to passed away in February, she lived in AL we are in MA so she wouldn't be able to be there either but I love my choices. I just have to check with the doctor to make sure I can have three people there. 
    Missed Miscarriage 3/27 D&C 3/29/2012
  • lalenalalena
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2015
    It's up to you. If you want her there and your husband is fine with it, sounds like a plan.

    My sister had her boyfriend and my mom when she had her first, just her husband with her second.

    For me, I only wanted my husband there with me (and medical team of course).
  • I am a FTM, but DH and I have discussed it being just the 2 of us, or including my mom. I feel like my mom would be a huge help to both of us, but DH isn't sure. They get along great, he just goes back and forth on whether we will the extra support or just want to be alone. Luckily my mom is super understanding. She said she will be there for the laboring, as will his family, and if we have it under control she will leave with everyone else when its time to push. Feeling very lucky to be able to make the decision when the time comes, and to not have to stress about it now. Maybe this is an option you could discuss with your aunt, if you think she will be understanding.
  • For my first, I had my mom and husband. Not a single regret. I plan on the same outcome this time around. It's nice to have a "mom" with you.
  • I am going to be having my mom in the room with me. I am not married or in a relationship with the father of my baby, and if he does come to the hospital, then he can come into the room as well. I just know that my mom will be able to support me much better than any one else. She will go out of her way to make sure I am comfortable and taken care of. Moms and mother figures have been through it before, so they will understand a lot more.
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