Who did you have in the delivery room?

kaitlinforrest

I will be having my first child in December. My mother passed away last July, so my aunt has stepped up and has definitely helped me feel not so "mother-less".

My question is, should I have my aunt in the delivery room? My husband is for it, I'm just not sure if I will regret not having it just him and me. Or that having my aunt will make me feel more uncomfortable than I think I will.

For those who had their mother or motherly figure, any regrets?

Latina211508

With my first child my mother was with me. My husband was deployed so I'm glad she was there with me. Plus I was fairly young and needed that motherly support. With my other two my husband was only there with me. I don't regret my mother being there but my husband will only be there for me for the next baby as well.

Ceridwen77

I'm a FTM and it will only be DH in the delivery room. My opinion is, if you're questioning whether or not it would make you uncomfortable to have your aunt there, then I'd err on not having here in the room. You don't want any added stress during that time so stick with what you know will be comfortable to you.

cMichelle0423

My husband wasn't able to be there when I had our first lo. So my mother stepped in and was there for me. I loved it and it definitely made us closer. With my second, I only had DH with me and it was a better experience. It brought us closer together as well and was just an amazing experience all together. I love my mom and I appreciate her stepping in when I needed her, but for me, just being there with my DH and no one else felt better in so many ways.

It's your labor, so have whoever you want in there with you. If you like the idea of having the aunt there, then let her be there. If you don't, or feel somewhat obligated, then don't invite her. Labor is stressful and crazy enough as it is. You have very little that you can actually have full control over, this being one of those things. Do whatever feels more comfortable for you.

queenwog

I'm a FTM and I, too, won't have anybody but DH with me. If there's a chance of additional stress from other people, I don't want them there. I don't even want anybody else at the hospital, much less in the room.

It's also entirely possible the hospital will limit how many people you can have there anyway due to flu season.

maiatene

I only had my husband with me. I didn't see a reason to have more than him and the medical staff in l&d. There's so much going on additional people may add stress and confusion to an already intense situation.

wedding crazed

I had my hubby and mom with me for my first and don't regret it at all. Refused to let MIL in as she's too anxious like me and I didn't need that. I worried my own mom would stress me out too, but at the very end many complications arose and my mom is a nurse so she was able to keep calm and explain things to me and ask the right questions of my OB. Also, when my emergency C-section came about they were both allowed in to the operating room so if the baby needed the NICU or anything hubby could go with him and my mom could stay with me. Worked better than I thought it would. Plus, I didn't know how my hubby would be in his first labor so I wanted someone else there in case he passed out or was too stressed to help me. With the rest of my C-sections just my hubby was present as my other kids needed watched by Grandma.

ChiccoBeanz

First off, I am sorry for your loss. That must be tough, but I am happy to hear your aunt stepped up. I hope that my answer doesn't stir up any sad feelings, or bring you pain.  But here goes...I will also be a FTM this December (God Willing). I plan on having my Mom and by then DH in the delivery room with me. My mom has been with me for every ER visit for this pregnancy, checks on me constantly and has helped me in many other ways. My Fiance has been a superstar when it has come to supporting me. I can't even imagine doing it without them. 

I think that if your aunt would like to come and you are okay with it and DH is okay with it, go for it. She may be a great support to you. If you feel that if she may cause you more stress, then by all means have her wait in the waiting room. It's really about what will help you to be as comfortable as possible during this process and I'm sure she will understand either way. 

firstboi

I had my mum and my DH in the room with my first and I will be having the same again. When you're actually giving birth, I don't think you care too much about what people see or what they think. Don't do anything that you feel uncomfortable with and don't feel pressured into it. However it will probably be nice for your DH to have someone else there as support too.

rubytuesday07

With my daughter (4 1/2 years ago) I had my husband, my mother and last minute let my mother in law come in under the rules she'd stay by my head well she didn't and not only that but took pictures of the delivery and my privates... Needless to say I don't mind hurting her feelings this time and saying no way will she be in there! Just my husband and my mom this time around.

It's 100% your choice who you have in there. As long as you want them there you won't regret it.

Bigboobsmcgee

My mom and DH were there when both of my kids were born and I wouldn't have changed a thing. My mom and I are super close so I wanted her there with me. In fact, my mom cut the cord on both kids because DH couldn't handle it! When you are actually in labor, I doubt you'll care that much who is there, you just want that baby out!

Do what you feel is best for you.

chellechan1

I had my DH and my MIL with me both times. My mom lives out of state, but if she'd been able to be there, I would have had her as well. My MIL was awesome support, and I don't regret having her there at all. This time, it will probably just be DH and I, as my MIL is now a full time caregiver to my FIL.

teachmegs817

My DH has already stated that he will not be watching the birth, lol despite every time he says that, people respond with; "Yes you will, you'll look even though you say you will not." I love DH, but he will probably be in more shock than anything at all to be able to talk/walk me through the birth of our child.  He will do fine in trying to calm me down and ease my mind to an extent, but this baby thing is so beyond foreign to him, I swear I feel like I am teaching him something new about babies every day. My step sister has offered to be apart of the birth if I would like her there.  She just did it with her sister last November and is a nurse. So I am probably asking her and DH to be apart of the birth.  Both my mother and MIL said a giant "Hell No" in the nicest way possible, lol.  They do not want to see me in any kind of pain and my mother does not do well with blood.  She had to walk away from the ear piercing booth when I was 12 years old, because she couldn't stand seeing her, "little girl" get poked with a needle, Hahaha.  )

Chelsey092

I had my S/O, my mom, and his mom. I originally was going to make S/O mom leave the room when it came time to push but I just didn't care anymore. The next day she thanked me for letting her be in the room and see her first grandson born. I'm not sure what I'm going to do this time.

dime4

My mother and husband both were with me during my first dilevery. My mom was a calming force who held my hand coached my breathing. When people were too loud and excited I thought I could punch those people my mother told them to quiet and they listen. My husband was awsome too but he felt conflicted to go with baby or stay by my side. With my mom there she said go to your daughter in here it's okay. The relief my husband had. For me it was more then worth it. I also thought I only wanted my husband but in the end it was all good.

Grace213

For DD it was my mom and DH. DH was so completely grossed out by bodily fluids and not wanting to see too much so we had mom (who is a nurse and was a great advocate in making sure I had the best care) in with us. Plus DH refused to cut the cord so we gave my mom the honors.

Only thing I would have changed was that I had the idea that mom and hubs would be up by my head the whole time. Nope, once I started crowning the nurse pulled my mom downtown to look. Like, get outa my crotch! But she was in tears and liked the experience of seeing DD coming out. Made her happy so, whatever. lol

SummerOH

I had DH, my mom, and my MIL.  I honestly didn't even notice they were there.  There's so many nurses, med students (in my hospital's case), and doctors in and out that it doesn't matter.  And, to be honest, after being in labor for 14 hours I couldn't care less who was in there! DH and I are very close and he's wonderfully supportive, so I didn't need them there for that.  It was more about it being special for them, so I didn't mind since I didn't even notice them.

danasphillips

With DS my husband was the only one in The room. I didn't even want visitors until we were in the postpartum room, but MIL barged in and practically snatched DS right out of my arms Up until that point we had a good relationship, but from then on we had some major issues because she couldn't seem to respect any boundaries. This time we're telling them we want zero visitors until we get home from the hospital other than DS. DH was wonderfully supportive throughout labor and delivery and between him, the doctor, and nurses, I didn't need anyone else.

krystapod

I am also a FTM. I lost my mom suddenly a little over three years ago. My Hubby and I talked at length about who we would want in the room. My MIL has become a true Mom to me over these past 3 years. Any time that I need surgery or a shoulder to cry on she says "I am mom... I am not leaving". I am really grateful for that. We decided that my Hubby, my MIL, and my Aunt (who has always been a second Mom) would be in the room with us. I am truly scared of getting in that room and only wanting my Mom. I decided that having more people in there for support would always be a good thing.

I was also really scared about how my Hubby would react in the room. However, on Wednesday I had surgery to remove a cyst on my tailbone. It was excruciating. My MIL and Hubby talked about it and decided he would wait in the hallway and she would stay in the room with me. Right as soon as the first cry came out of my mouth he rushed back in and grabbed my other hand. I now know that if it can only be the two of us that he can handle it. However, having the extra support would be nice since we have no idea the time frame that we will be at the hospital. If Hubby can get relief from support of them then I would rather have that also.

Last year I was in the room while my BFF had a baby. I realized that I don't really care who sees what. Nobody will ever talk about what it looked like afterwards. It was a really awesome experience getting to see him being born. She didn't care either, which was awesome.

OrangeFox

It was just DH with me for my first baby. I actually mentioned it to my mom and she told me that she would be happy to be there if I wanted her there but would rather not if she had the option. I was relieved because I didn't want her there but wasn't sure how she felt.

I debated having a super close girlfriend there because I wasn't sure if DH would need support if my labor ran super long. however,I worked with a team of three midwives. They guarantee three midwives at each birth, at least two of them are from your own team. So I figured no matter what I would have plenty of support.

I was later glad that it was just me and hubby. I would have been fine with someone there for the birth but the first hour or two after delivery was super special with just the three of us.

smileybabyboy

I only had my husband there.  I didn't need my mother seeing anything she didn't need to see.  I even asked the student to leave lol

shelbibrooke82

I had originally planned to have my sister and my SO BUT it didn't work out that my sister could make it up (she lived 3 hours away) so it was my SO and my mom!!

Somehow she managed to keep both of us calm!! I was a mess with pain and he was too nice about it so it annoyed me!! If it hadn't been for my mom idk how it would have went!

Just go with your gut (hehe baby bump) and you don't have to tell anyone until it's time!! It is all on how YOU feel!! don't worry about hurting someone's feelings because your the one in charge!

inomniaparatus

I haven't had a baby yet but I want my husband and mom in there... 

Mom doesn't look down below though- of course! Gross! 

sgleit

I am normally am pretty modest but everyone in my delivery room saw a lot more of me than I care to remember. At some point when I was in a lot of pain I stopped caring. It sort of made me happy it was only my husband and medical staff in there. I would have had my mom but we lived abroad at the time and she didn't make it.

erincjackson

With my first my dad passed away when I was 7 months pregnant. I didn't have my mom but I had my step mom in the room with DH and I and my birthing coach. I needed the support to get through the birthing process and keep me calm due to my grieving. With my other two I didn't have her in the room and won't with this one either.

DrillSergeantCat

With my first it was my mom and my (now ex) husband. With this one, I haven't decided yet. Probably mom and SO but I'll have to ask him what he thinks about it. 

pettycrocker

I had a csection, so only my H was in the room... My mother stayed at the hospital while I was in labor though... This time it will be just H at the hospital. 

rin2809

For my first, I had more of a crowd than I wanted. My parents and mother-in-law were there for all of labor. Thankfully for delivery everyone but DH went home. This time I am being assertive and keeping it us to just DH and hospital staff.

flas

For my first baby is was my husband, my mom and my twin, though it was a nice big delivery room. For my second it was my husband and my mother-in-law. Might seem strange but my MIL only had boys so I knew she would never be able to see any of her grandkids being born unless invited and my SIL had no intention. I have a great relationship with her and thought she would like to see one of her grandchildren being born. I was later told by my SIL that she had seen DD coming out and that it was one of the best experiences of her life. She has such a special bond with DD and I am really happy she was there. This time around its just going to be hubby and me.

BKollie

With my first I really wanted my husband to be there but he chicken out lol. But I had my mom my sister in law and my mother in law. My husband was embarrassed because his mom was there. So he didn't want to be there. So he waited outside til our little boy came.

djluschen

My hubby was in the room. That's it. I had no desire to have any other family members there for that moment.

4puddleducks

For DS, it was just DH and me in the delivery room...along with my OB and 7 other medical professionals. At the end, you really aren't particular about who is there. For this delivery, it will be just DH and me again. For me, it is more intimate to have those first moments as a family. Plus, for me, it was less pressure to not have extra people waiting in a fairly uncomfortable space for me to deliver.

roo1oo

DH only. I thought about having my mom there but DH said he wanted that moment where we go from a family of two to three to be shared by just the family. In the end there was tons of medical staff in there too so it didn't feel quite that special. My mom showed up and sat with me while the nurse was pushing on my stomach - I won't gross you out about what that's for but its a pretty nasty moment and I didn't mind having my mom around then. But just for the purpose of having less people in the room, I was glad she came after delivery.

EvaD84

Its great she wants to help. If your hospital only allows one person, maybe have ur hubby there and ur aunt on standby. U never know in the moment suddenly hubby get woozy or something and u need ur aunt to encourage u to push or hang in there.

I'm due in january and only hubby will be there