FTM in need of support

WowHey

I knew having a newborn would be mean being sleep deprived constantly but I didn't realize to this extent. How many hours of sleep are all the other new moms getting out there?
We've had our son home a week and my husband and I have gotten an average of about 4 hours of sleep a night,very spaced out. And to top it off,we've had to go to ER 2 nights in a row this week,first because of a bladder infection that gave me a fever and then the next night I passed a very large blood clot and was told to go in. Both nights we were there from about 130am-6am then didn't sleep til around 9am so our sleeping pattern is very messed up still.
I just want to know things will get better and that we can survive getting little sleep for the time being. Just looking for some supportive words please.
It's been really hard and I have been crying non stop because of postpartum depression.

jespernoir

This too shall pass. It gets better. *hugs!*

frschaffner

Are you napping during the day too when baby naps? You need to sleep when you can. It will get better, but don't worry about housework for a couple weeks. Focus on you and baby. And talk to your doctor about the PPD if you haven't already. *hugs!*

jewels1029

Im a FTM too. The sleep deprivation hasn't gotten to me my LO is 15days but I think I'm just use to the lack of sleep because I wasn't sleeping well my last couple weeks of pregnancy anyways. I to probably get about 4 or 5 hours of spaced out good sleep a night between feedings but I find that if I'm really tired the next day that napping while the baby naps in between feedings helps alot. You should really try doing that and yes don't worry about things around the house just focus on you and the baby. My two older sisters gave me that advice and it does help. Things will get better hunny stay positive. Talk to your doctor at your first pp appointment about your ppd. Again stay positive!!

2babes3angels

Girl, yes it gets better!! Definitely don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it--hopefully you have a good support system in place. I agree about sleeping when baby sleeps, letting household stuff go on the backburner, and for sure talk to your doc if you are concerned about PPD. This transition is so hard, but you will figure out your new groove soon enough. Give yourself some time, and also give yourself some grace as well.

alanna7777

Sleep when you can and take shifts. And forget housework-bare minimum effort. Also if anyone offers to help say YES...you need sleep. The first few weeks are so tough and LO is adjusting to being outside in a very different environment. He will soon start settling into a routine. Hope you feel better too and check on the PPD...it will help once that is addressed too. Take care.

mers90

It will get better soon, I can't tell you how soon because every baby is different but SOON! I'm getting about 4 hours of sleep too, and if I'm lucky I'll take a mid-morning nap when she's asleep for about 30 minutes, but she only wants me to hold her ALL DAY AND NIGHT, so it scares me to fall asleep while holding her, but I know this is normal, I have a 6yo and he wasn't easy!

mahlissah

My LO is 12 days old and DH and I have found that taking shifts in the night help tremendously. Luckily DH is a night owl by nature and I don't mind getting up early so it has been a pretty fair compromise. I'm not gonna sugar coat it and say that doing shifts will solve the sleeping problems completely, but it certainly does help. I've been doing a lot of reading on when the LO will start sleeping in longer shifts and I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there!!

P.S. - I have been suffering from the Baby Blues myself and am actually taking a preventative measure to avoid PPD by talking to a therapist this coming Monday so please, if you ever need to vent or talk to someone who is also going through feeling down, feel free to reach out to me ** Hugs **

amyjay23

My LO is 16 days old and I will tell you that it DOES get better, and fast.  The first few days were really hard sleepwise- and I had a really rough case of the baby blues until a few days ago.  Some things that helped me were to remember that this is TEMPORARY.  It's really, really hard, but it's temporary and your babe will get more and more used to you and your routines.  

If you have a support system close, reach out.  I suffered the baby blues in silence for about a week before I reached out to my sister, mom, and husband and after I did I felt better just because i didn't have to pretend like everything was great.  Call anyone over who will hold your babe and give you a nap.  Sleep deprivation magnifies everything!  Lots of love to you and your family.

ashleytiff

We're at almost 3 weeks and it's still off and on but last night and today I've had pretty good sleep. I slept on the couch last night with my son and we both slept a lot better. I find when he is asleep next to or on me instead of in the bassinet he sleeps longer and so do I cause I'm not getting up to see if he is okay.
And sleeping on the couch feels safer for us to co-sleep.

AziaNick

Our baby girl is 6 weeks on Thursday...and sometimes we get no sleep and sometimes we do. She eats 1-3 hours so it just depends. Sleep when your baby sleeps and it will get better the bigger Your baby gets the more your baby will sleep.

WowHey

Thank you all for the encouragement! My husband has been so supportive too and is doing most things around the house. Our sleeping schedule is still screwed up but we are managing a bit better. I think my hormones are starting to balance out a bit too

LibbyC730

Not sure how many visitors you have coming to see baby, but sometimes that can add to sleep deprivation. We had people coming over after work and staying pretty late in the evening--plus I didn't want people coming over to a messy house! A couple we knew used this time to nap--if the company was friends/family of the dad, mom would nap and vice versa! Good luck--it does get better!!

lschwahl

My daughter is only 5 days old and has been having feeding issues that people told me we're normal, like nursing every 30 minutes. Got no sleep and was feeling lonely all night spending the nights on the couch as to not keep my hardworking husband up all night. On Sunday night, I cracked and just started crying about how hard it all is and how I wanted to stop breastfeeding cause she eats non-stop. I have a history of anxiety and I went to get help from a lactation consultant. I found out my daughter is tougue tied, lower and upper lip tied, which means she has not been able to get any milk from me and this is why she has been so hungry all day. Now, I have her procedure scheduled, she will then be able to feed and I have a strong plan developed with my consultant for getting her back on track afterwards. I found that the depression and crying were due mostly to my thought that I didn't know if she was OK. All of the questions and worries really got to me and made sleep impossible. The unknowns of being a FTM are the worst. However, I have found that a good plan for each minute, hour and day make my anxiety better and understanding that things may not always work out, but that's OK. My anxiety also causes loss of appetite and I have had barely anything to eat, over 20 pounds lost in 5 days. But it's all worth it.