Discipline help w/ 5 year old

mommymegan831

I don't know what to do with my 5 year old lately.  She's always been challenging, but she's also got an awesome personality that makes her a joy to be around most of the time.  Lately however, it's been getting more and more difficult to find appreciate the wonderful part of her personality.  She's just got this nasty attitude where she sounds like a teenager, she's always had this but I feel like it's gotten alot worse.  This summer she's in summer rec, so she's hanging out with alot of older kids and I notice several older characteristics to her since she's started (playing cards, high five games- you're too slow, ect).  She's going into kindergarten so being exposed to older kids is not going to change.  Everyday she says something like "I'm so mad at you" or "you're a bad girl" or "you know how many times you've been bad today?"  She's a horror at bed time, I'll get into that next, so when I'm trying to put her to bed she'll say things like "don't ever touch me again" or "don't ever talk to me again".  I tell her it's rude and you don't speak to adults like that, but it doesn't seem to help.  When I try to talk to her she grunts when she's upset rather than talking.  I've always struggled with out to discipline this type of stuff.  It's not like hitting or something where she can clearly know what is wrong, I feel like it's more difficult to understand what it means to be rude.  Any ideas how to get her to not be so nasty?

Our other issue is bedtime.  Putting her to bed is a 30-60 minute process.  She comes down complaining she's not comfortable or not tiered.   I've let her read in bed and even color, that used to work but it doesn't seem to anymore.  We recently began a sticker chart because she'd be in our bed every night, that helps, but how many sticker charts can I have?  I also can't argue with her much because my 3 year old sleeps right down the hall and I don't want him waking up.

MeLove15

As far is bedtime is concerned, develop a routine that works for you and is appropriate for her, and stick to it not matter how much she tries to deter. She is old enough to be MADE to stay in bed after you have ensured her needs are met.

For the discipline, I think you need to get to the bottom of what her remarks are about. Isit something your doing that may need changing?

ChiccoBeanz

I'm still expecting my first child (God willing this Dec), but I do have a 5 year old Godson. He definitely has some behavior issues that no one cares for. I've come to the conclusion, based on observation and interacting with him (I actively discipline him), that he behaves in certain manners with people that he knows he can. For example, talking back, not following instructions and continuing tantrums, is something that he does not do with me, my fiance (his God father) or his mother's boyfriend, but he does do these things with his mother and great grandmother. I've learned that speaking to him firmly, and using the question and answer method works better with him. I also sit him down when he misbehaves. If he can't behave in the proper manner, he will sit down. Period. I don't care if he cries, pouts and so on... he KNOWS, Godmom will make him stay and sit down. His Godfather will do the same and so will his mother's boyfriend. 

I suggest being more firm with her. When she speaks to you in that rude manner/says those rude things to you, firmly tell her that what she said was inappropriate. Let her know that it is not okay to speak to adults like that and have her take a break from her activities. No more than 5 minutes (1 min per yr of her life). It will take a lot of work and reinforcement, but it will pay off. 

For bedtime, I agree with PP.