TTC After a Loss

Miscarriage anniversary

I hope this is ok to post here. The anniversary of my first miscarriage is coming up in just over a week. I had a 2nd MC in April and have been kind of a mess lately. I have tried to keep my MCs from most people. I am just a private person and don't generally like to share personal stuff. Lately I find myself wondering if It would make me feel better to get it out in the open. Would it be a relief to get it off my chest? I don't want people asking a bunch of questions which is part of why i kept it quiet. Who did you choose to share with? Any advice or thoughts on getting through the anniversary would be appreciated too!

Re: Miscarriage anniversary

  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I am coming up on the anniversary of my loss as well. I had told my immediate family, and a couple close friends that I was pregnant, and then obviously had to let them all know about the MC. On mother's day, I called to wish my mom a happy mothers day and was catching up with both of my parents on the phone, and I totally broke down. It was really nice to be able to talk to them about it, as DH didn't seem to feel the loss as acutely as I did, and he really doesn't know what to do when I am upset. One of my work friends who I told has had several MCs of her own, so I plan on talking to her if this upcoming anniversary is difficult. I hope you find some solace in a friend. Hugs to you!
    image
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 



    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

    TheThornBird
  • I'm sorry for your losses as well. I'm still hoping I'll get pregnant before my previous EDD. I haven't even thought ahead to the anniversaries of getting PG or the MMC or D&E. 

    I definitely recommend talking about it.  I told my family and friends because I didn't like feeling like it never happened. 
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • ALC08ALC08 member
    Thanks for the support. Sorry for your losses as well.
  • I'm so sorry for your losses. Everyone is different. Personally I told all of my close friends about my MC even though several of them didn't even know I was pregnant. Like previous posters have said, I just couldn't act like it didn't happen and it has helped to have a small group of people aside from my husband that I can talk to when I'm having a bad day.

    The only thing I would caution you of if you decide to tell people is to be prepared for some really annoying comments. People want to be helpful but often don't realize that their comments can be very insensitive in your eyes. Not saying this to discourage you because I don't regret telling people at all!

    Good luck and again I'm so sorry you are going through this.

  • @spatter1 -- my favorite is "trying is the fun part."  Yes, this is super fun!  I'm not upset at all!  8-|
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













    ALC08crob5685vallericspatter1
  • So sorry for everyone's losses!
    @CarrieandRoy I love that one too. Especially given all the times I've ended up crying after because I would suddenly get flooded with emotions (not that it wasn't fun up until then
  • @jessicalacey1226, what I find funny is that my husband and I have been having sex for years and will continue to have sex for decades. So when someone basically says that the bright side of a miscarriage is that we get to have sex, all I can think is "That would be happening anyway!!" :-w
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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