Anyone scared of tearing?!

sydneykins

The more stories I read the more scared I am about tearing. Nothing else bothers me to be honest.. but that's all I think about these days! I don't want an epidural.. so I'm sure I'll feel it tearing. And let's be honest.. no one wants stitches in their vag.

thinkpink101

Yes! I tore and had an episiotomy with my first and the recovery was not fun. It hurt in the moment of course, but more so in the next week. I had to get a donut to sit on...

emzrankin

There is so many things we could all be scared of and yes tearing is one i have thought and worried about but as we get so close I am just going with the attitude I will take everyrhing as it comes.

mamadeez

When I was born I was so large for my tiny mom and got stuck so they cut her. Blood hit the ceiling and my dad passed out and hit the floor moments before I came shooting out (so I'm told). It's been a spooky cloud over my head the whole pregnancy.

Vane8910

I had my baby naturally, I didn't tear but my doctor thought I was going to while in labor so he gave me an episiotomy. He first injected the area with a numbing medication and cut. I didn't really feel it honestly contractions hurt more. I don't remember how many stitches I had, so mine could have been not so bad. I took care of it like they told me too and barely felt any pain after birth. The stitches didn't bother me at all and they dissolve on their own. Maybe I was lucky, but I'm sure tearing would have been a lot worse. It was definitely one of my fears when I was pregnant but I asked my Dr and he told me how he would handle the situation when the time came. I hope that helps you feel better. Don't read the horror stories they will just make you paranoid! You might not even have to worry about it

WDDCH

There are ways to prevent or reduce the severity of tearing: push in an optimal position like a squat, water birth, push slowly to allow it all to stretch, perineum massage, etc.

I tore with my epidural births but not my med free ones. I didn't feel it and recovery was more itchy and weird than painful. They weren't severe tears though.

str13

I tore with each of my girls, so I have no comparison. But I honestly didn't think it was that bad. I don't enjoy that it happened, but it's just something that happened! Try not to stress about that, I know that's hard. But it'll only wreck your nerves. Just focus on the prize at the end!! A sweet, cute little baby!

DreaMak

I plan on a natural birth and im extremely scared if tearing more so for the recovery of it:(

etayislove

Most likely you won't have any idea that you tore until your care provider says they have to put in some stitches. Talk to your provider now about perineum support during labor and what the usual game plan is for them.

I had a small first degree tear that required 3 stitches, yes it was slightly uncomfortable but overall my recovery was pretty smooth. My midwives had oil all over me while I was pushing him out to try and prevent the issue, but my boys head was huge and not in a straight presentation. They also had me go slowly as I could when pushing him out.

Nehouston

I'll be honest I hadn't really given much thought to this subject until childbirth class this past weekend. Now I am thinking of it for sure. My sister, who has 3 girls, told me with her first she had an episiotomy, but did not with the second and third. She had minimal, but some, tearing with the second and third and said it's not even a close comparison - healing from a few stitches from tearing is FAR easier than healing from an episiotomy. She strongly suggested that I have a convo with my OB ahead of time about preferring to avoid one IF possible and getting his thoughts on that. I plan to do that at my next appt.

momofsweetps

I tore with my first and had an epidural, and still felt it and felt them putting stitches in. It wasn't fun but it wasn't as bad as I worked myself up to be. I haven't torn since and I'm hoping to continue that again.

DChunt09

I was pretty worried about tearing as well. 

With my son, I tore very minimally and only needed 2 stitches. With my daughter, I tore even less. My children were on the small end but they came out lightning fast, which I've heard can make tearing more likely. 

Try not stress about it! Like one of the pp already said, take it as it comes. You may not tear at all! 

kaybee03

I feel like i have read it's better to tear than have the episotomy (for healing)? I need to get on my research so I can have it in my birth plan, but either way, yeah - can't turn back now!

nikkidavis421

I had to have an episiotomy with both of my kids and am expecting the same thing this time around. I'm not sure what it feels like if you decide against an epidural but as far as the recovery process, I didn't think it was that bad. The stitches dissolve and you just need to make sure you're gentle when you wipe. They actually tell you to pat it dry after going to the bathroom instead of wiping until it's all healed. They give you stool softeners so you're not straining to go to the bathroom for risk of ripping the stitches out and they also gave me some numbing spray that I could use if the pain got to be too much for me but I never did end up using it. I would be scared of tearing, too, but if the doctor that's delivering your baby thinks you're going to tear, he/she will do an episiotomy.

blondehairblueeyeditalianbaby

I had a 3rd degree tear with my son. I didn't feel it happen. I did have some pain when they were stitching me up but it wasn't unbearable. The pain after was nothing. It didn't bother me at all. They kept trying to give me pain meds for it but I refused them. The worst part to me was the amount of time it took to care for it after. I just wanted to be with my baby but I had to spend 15 min in the bathroom every time I went. It really wasn't a big deal for me but I know everyone is different.

lolad5

I don't know if I'm more scared of pooping or tearing :-SS both terrify me equally.

bmolson1

I tore with dd (but I have no idea what degree it was), but I had no idea it happened until they said I needed some stitches.  I did not have an eipdural or even an IV when I delivered her, so I was surprised that I didn't notice, but I didn't.  They gave me a numbing shot before I got my stitches so I didn't feel anything then either.  Having stitches after the fact was not my favorite though.  I'm really hoping that I don't tear this time around. 

nflan16

I tore with my son and even with the epidural I felt the stinging and tearing, it hurt so bad. I think feeling myself being stitched up was worse though. Now I know for this time to ask for something to numb it so I don't feel it. I thought the epidural was supposed to make me not feel it, but maybe it wore off by the time I was pushing. I just remember thinking yup, I'm tearing right now. Not fun, but nothing you can do at the time but keep pushing. Now I'm getting nervous to feel it again!

Mufflerlove

To be honest I had no pain meds and severe tearing and I had to ask if I tore lol. I didn't feel any extra pain or the tearing itself. Recovery was fine for me but holy hell the stitches were brutal.

I've always been scared of an episiotomy. My friend said she heard the snip * shudder *

BeachBabe22

lolad5 said:

I don't know if I'm more scared of pooping or tearing :-SS both terrify me equally.

You won't even know if you pooped! They clean it up so quickly and it's not a big deal. OB's, midwives, and nurses know it's all a part of labor. I never asked my husband or mom if I did when I delivered my daughter and they never mentioned it. When you're ready to push all you want to do is get the baby out quickly and they tell you to push like you're having a bowel movement.

I had my daughter naturally and did not tear. I did squats and kegels all throughout my pregnancy and used the birthing bar in a squating position while in labor. I'm pretty sure that all of those things combined helped me to not tear.

rebeccabloomwood

@lolad5 my thoughts too! Reading this I was thinking that tearing is further from my mind than pooping. I know it happens all the time and the nurses are very discreet when it does but it's still horrifying in my mind.

ebentley13

In my birthing classes I was educated on tearing vs and episiotomy. If the doctor makes a tiny cut you are more likely to tear further. Think of like a nick in a piece of paper...super easy to tear if there is already a weak spot. Tears are less likely and heal easier. I have been doing keagals, squats, and perineum massages to hopefully reduce my chances of tearing. Another big factor is baby's position of the head...As a ftm I can say it's a fear, but not something I'm dwelling on currently Good luck!

adtaylor2015

Of all the things that can happen during labor- tearing, episiotomies, and pooping are the least of my worries. I know some tears can be severe but it's something that's manageable. There's so much worse that can happen during labor.
But I did have an episiotomy with my son and I felt her make the incision but it wasn't painful afterwards. I barely had any pain after giving birth though. The hemmerrhoids from pushing were the hardest part of my recovery.

babyplut

I never had any with my first two which I had naturally. Who know it might happen but my thoughts are WTF bring it on! If some tearing is going to be stressing me out then I have bigger problems to worry about. I'm trying not to worry about anything and it really isn't going to matter when the time comes because you can't control what's going to happen or what needs to be done. You are just going to go with the flow and when you have that baby in your arms your torn Vagina is going to mean the same to you as a paper cut

KERJF

I tore. Besides being in pain while giving birth - it was not like I felt my insides ripping in a zig-zag pattern lol. Youll be okay

LoveLee85

I'm not giving it a second thought because I have ZERO control over it!! LOL Honestly at that point, your only thought will be on if your baby is healthy and okay.

picariellol

I had an episiotomy with my first. I had an epidural and didn't feel a thing. I also had no discomfort afterward. The stitches even dissolved! Don't worry about it...there are way too many exciting things you will be focused on

jabeauty90

With my son I pushed for over an hour and a half. I tore in every direction and that was with my midwife stretching the area with castor oil. My daughter on the other hand came out in three pushes, no tearing, no pain afterwards. I felt amazing the second time around.

lenlou@earthlink.net

I had an episiotomy with my son, which torn. I had a 4th degree tear and had no idea until I realized after a few minutes that I was still spread eagle with the dr still down there...
I literally had stitches from my vag to the inside of my booty hole...TMI I know... I was miserable for weeks, couldn't sit flat, sex hurt for months after giving birth. It was by far the worst part of the entire pregnany, labor and delivery, pushing, the whole 9 yards.

What happens was my sons head was turned and after pushing for 3 hours the dr asked if I wanted an episiotomy. I said yes if that will help get him out, well she snipped as I pushed and he FLEW out if me. My husband didn't even get to cut the cord because the dr had to rush and stop the bleeding and stitch me up. I guess I was pushing so hard but his head was just stuck. Anyway I thought my husband was going to pass out. I didn't know any different, I've never done that before, I thought it was normal for him to fly out of me LOL
Hopefully this are stretched out for this baby and that doesn't happen this time! But Id do it all over again if I had to. The moment they put that precious baby on your chest, it's all worth it!

chelseajeanene

I don't know why but tearing isn't something I think of or fear for labor. I'm terrified for the entire process in general. Not knowing the amount of pain I'll truly be in is extremely hard to grasp