Names and Ugly Nick Names!

marielaa26

Hi ladies, Ill be knowing the gender of my baby in two weeks, and my husband and I have had the names planned for a while, so if its a boy we decided to go with Santiago, but my mother in law is insisting in calling him "Chago" because thats the nick name, it pisses me off so bad, yall dont have an idea. Ive told her so many times that thats not his name, and she just keeps insisting! I dont know what to do, and I dont want to change the name! Has any of you girls have this problem?

willashbaby

She can call him that, you can call him something else. You can't really control what other people call your kid. Once he's in school then you'll really have no control. 

marielaa26

No, I don't think so. I think my family should respect my decision!

Myelhsa

willashbaby said:

She can call him that, you can call him something else. You can't really control what other people call your kid. Once he's in school then you'll really have no control. 

I second this. My niece is named Raelynn and my mom calls her Lizzie, not even close and my sister hates it.

You really can't control what people call your kid.

ainverso

Like PP said you really can't change what others call your child unless it is vulger(at which point I wouldn't visit) . You have stated how you feel about their nickname and they are obviously still going to call him that. I would continue to use the name that you want and call baby that. Hopefully they will catch on . If not, it is ok that gma calls baby something else. My grandma calls my one sister by a name completely different that her given name. She never minded, my parents got over it and my sister is fine.

willashbaby

Your decision is what to name him legally and what you want to call him. The only way you'll keep them from calling him something different is if you invent some mind control potion. Even if you keep them from seeing him they will probably refer to him by their preferred name anyway. I really don't think this is worth fighting over or so much frustration. 

Paige6410

This is not something to get worked up over.

marielaa26

If your hispanic, you'll probably just hear older gentlemen called Chago! It doesn't really sound nice for a baby!
Im pretty sure shes just doing this to annoyed me.

Myelhsa

That's something you're just going to have to accept going with that name. I'm naming my son Houston, I know people will call him Hugh and I hate it but I love the full name, it's a strong male name and it's a family name.

I wouldn't expect anyone not to use Hugh just because I don't like it.

wassuphoes

marielaa26 said:

If your hispanic, you'll probably just hear older gentlemen called Chago! It doesn't really sound nice for a baby!
Im pretty sure shes just doing this to annoyed me.

So? Your son will be a baby for such a small part of his life. An "older" sounding nickname is not going to make him grow up faster.

Your mom might just be teasing you. She might not be. Either way, you can't stop her from using a nickname.

If you really hate that nickname, pick a different name.

stlmomof2

Paige6410 said:

This is not something to get worked up over.

I second this... I don't understand. She can't control what people do. Period.

jessielynn1

I think you should just let this roll off your shoulders. Even if you decide to pick a name that you absolutely love the nickname, it doesn't mean people will call them that. My 4 year old is Isaiah, Dh's ENTIRE family calls him patchy because of how his hair fell out in patches when he was a baby. Some things just stick. I would try not to let it bother you.

amberrrjade

I feel you. I named my daughter Marlena and I swore if anyone called her "Marley" I would throat punch them. So far no one has tested me... I dread school though... because then you lose all control. I'm sorry about your MIL but it's probably not a battle worth fighting

Ju111310

I would tell my MIL -- look this really upsets me, I do not want my child to be called that. Please respect MY wishes regarding MY child. What kids do when they get to school regarding NN, you can't control. What my family calls my child when I'm around, I can control. If she won't respect your wishes about a name, is she going to respect your wishes about how your child is raised? They can respect my wishes, or they can not be around my child. Pretty simple!

marielaa26

Finally! Someone that understands me! Everybody is being so rude about it! And this is been going on since I miscarriage my last pregnancy! We've had that name for quite a while, and she just wont stop!

marielaa26

Ive told her so many times, and she just doesn't listen! Even my sisters in law tells her to stop, I don't know whats up with her!

sck601

Meh, I can see both sides of this. My MIL wanted to call my SD "Charlie" for a nm, and her name is Char.Lize. (Period in the middle for privacy/search reasons) DH told her that him and his ex wife don't like that and would appreciate it if she didn't call her that. She respected it and instead got a dog named Charlie. Me personally, it wouldn't bother me what other people call my kid, as long as at not rude/disrespectful nms.

CaraBoonie

I see both sides. On the one hand, family SHOULD respect what you want, they're family. But I know many people's families don't, and if talking to her about it won't change anything, then you can only name your kid that if you're okay making peace with the nickname. My name is Cara, and my dad DESPISES the name Carrie, and had a disclaimer that I could only be named Cara is nobody ever called me Carrie. I have never once in my life by anybody been called Carrie, so I guess it worked, lol.

People are right that you can't control what other people call your kid though, especially once they go to school. My brother is a Michael who was called Mikey his whole childhood. As he grew up, he wanted to be called Mike. His new friends all call him Mike. My husband calls him Mike. He will always be Mikey to me, and he just had to come to terms with the fact that his family wasn't able to call him a different name after over 2 decades on this planet.

Love4littlethings24

I see both sides too. We originally picked Jackson and mil liked that name better. We now are going with Parker Jackson, which she says, "oh well we can still call him Jackson by his middle name". But honestly I think she's doing it because she has control issues. Just nicely tell her you don't like the name and you're making your child the other name for a reason. If she doesn't listen, nor respect than note taken for future. I'm already having to do this with my MIL.

marielaa26

I don't have problems with nicknames, is just that one. I mean, why cant she just call him "Santi" or something else:/

Love4littlethings24

I think you've gotten pretty good advice, she may not know until you tell her. Problem solved.

Myelhsa

marielaa26 said:

Finally! Someone that understands me! Everybody is being so rude about it! And this is been going on since I miscarriage my last pregnancy! We've had that name for quite a while, and she just wont stop!

Nobody was being rude to you at all. There's a difference between being rude and just having a different opinion than you.

LauraFi

How does your husband feel about the nickname Chage? Assuming you are on the same page and since you've already tried talking to your mother in law yourself maybe your husband could talk to your MIL about using a different nickname. Sometimes things are better received and understood by MILs when it comes from their son rather than daughter in law.

jeanbug12

Just choose the name you love and don't worry about MIL. In laws can be difficult! All you can do is tell her you would prefer he not be called that nickname (but of she is anything like my FIL, that may just encourage her, FIL loves to irritate me!) But, if you really dislike the nickname too much, maybe consider different names. Your son may decide he likes it at some point and choose to go by that, I like Chago!

My DD has a name with lots of nickname options. When I was pregnant I said I would never call her by one of the names nicknames, I just didn't like it that much. Here we are years later and I call her by that nickname all the time, my son started calling her that and it just fits her now!

Pick a name and don't worry about the nicknames, they just kind of come naturally!

mstefanovic

sck601 said:

Meh, I can see both sides of this. My MIL wanted to call my SD "Charlie" for a nm, and her name is Char.Lize. (Period in the middle for privacy/search reasons) DH told her that him and his ex wife don't like that and would appreciate it if she didn't call her that. She respected it and instead got a dog named Charlie. Me personally, it wouldn't bother me what other people call my kid, as long as at not rude/disrespectful nms.

There's an idea! Get a pet and name it Chago. Then tell her she can't call the kid the same name as the dog/rat/llama!

marielaa26

Lol She'll kill us if we get a pet

CupcakesRamazing

marielaa26 said:

Lol She'll kill us if we get a pet

Do you live with your MIL? Not sure why she won't allow you to have a pet.

I think a NN is not something to be this upset about. Perhaps he will want to go by Chago when he's older, what then? People will call your child whatever, but you can call him his legal name.

Andplusalso, it's sex, not gender.

TinyDancer51510

My brother's name is Joshua and our mom fought his entire childhood trying to get people to call him Joshua instead of Josh. Now he's 27 and you know what most people call him? Josh. (Including his fiancée and my husband.) It's *really* not worth the battle. If you hate it that much, I'd pick another name that you do like the nickname for. We have vetoed plenty of names because we hate the nicknames. I know it's annoying and frustrating and I'm sorry your MIL won't listen to you but if you've tried and she still insists, you're going to have to change your game plan one way or another.

Sovvy

Look, no one is being rude. We don't agree. It's not the same.

jessielynn1

marielaa26 said:

Lol She'll kill us if we get a pet

Seems your MIL is controlling about a lot of things.

marielaa26

Problem solved! My husbands sister in law has a dog, and his name is chaggy, perfect reason to tell her to stop calling him that!

marielaa26

Oh dear, she is!

Love4littlethings24

marielaa26 said:

Problem solved! My husbands sister in law has a dog, and his name is chaggy, perfect reason to tell her to stop calling him that!

**slows claps**

MissMheMhe

I agree with PP that you really can't control what others call your child. 

I have the opposite problem. One of our boy names is Theodore and I absolutely love Teddy as a nn. As soon as we told MIL, she blurted out "But people will call him Teddy and that's horrible!" Sigh.....then you don't have to call him that!

CupcakesRamazing

I think your MIL that seems controlling and has boundary issues should addressed before a silly nickname problem.

Love4littlethings24

CupcakesRamazing said:

I think your MIL that seems controlling and has boundary issues should addressed before a silly nickname problem.

This, although it sounds like you live with her. I'm guessing OP is young though.

marielaa26

we do!