Intro (Loss Mentioned)

nerdymama15

I'm lurking on this board and posting on a few different boards on this site.  

So anyhow,  I'm 34 and I have PCOS.   Hubby and I have been trying since 2013.  We got our very first BFP in January of this year and lost the baby in February at 9w6d.  And now we are trying again.  DH and I  were married at an older than average age.  I was 29 then and he was 34 then.  Now I'm 34 and he is 39 (or will be soon).  It is super frustrating.   Since the MC we have been trying since April.  Still no luck.  The doctor thinks that I will be able to get pregnant if and only if we can get the timing right (same office but different doctor than I normally see for yearlys).  I have a yearly checkup coming up soon as I can schedule it.  Can find out then when the doctor would want us to talk to the people in their infertility clinic.  The OBGYN office also has fertility clinic in it as well.  Kind of of like an all in one kind of place. 

I'm at the point where I am imagining BFPs when I take a test.  The other night I had a BFN that I seriously thought I saw a BFP and even called my hubby into the room.  He got excited and then realized before I did that it wasn't a BFP.  I seriously thought I had seen two lines.  I even got excited.  Talk about a total let down!    What is even worse is since the MC, the symptoms I have before my period have changed  They used to mimic only a couple of symptoms sore boobs and nausea.  Now my symptoms mimic more than those two pregnancy symptoms.  Now I get that and the major fatigue, cravings, weird dreams, etc  Totally sucks.

I lurk and post on the MC&PL board, the TTGP, the TTCAL and Babies On the Brain boards. Thought I'd join this board as well. 

It feels like everyone around me is pregnant, or recently had a baby.  My FB newsfeed is filled with pregnancy announcements.  And if it isn't announcements then it is baby pictures.   Christmas last year, I had to log off and stay off of FB more than usual due to the influx of Baby's First Christmas pictures everywhere.  I want to be happy for them, but at the same time I'm super green with envy.

Sorry for rambling so much.  I'm never sure what all I'm supposed to say in these intros.  

And by the way, to the Admin Golden Keys.  I love your picture meme in your signature with the horse. 

jnissa

Hi and creepy internet hugs! 

Sorry you're feeling so down. 

I'd advocate for yourself to see the fertility specialist (hopefully an RE) sooner rather than later. You've been trying for two years already, you're well within the time frame. TBH, if truly the best thing your OB has to say to a person trying for two years with PCOS and an MC is "You need to get the timing right," you're probably not getting sufficient care. 

Keep your chin up!

KidShrink

Agree with @jnissa : sometimes (like for the great majority of us on this board), there's a lot more to it than just the right timing. I found the first RE appointment not an easy step (I cried the whole weekend before), but it was necessary. Good luck!

wbird

Welcome!

I second jnissa and kidshrink's suggestion on RE as the next step. Finding the right RE is important too! Don't be afraid to find a new RE if things just aren't going well, or if you're not getting the warm fuzzies from them. I had to do that, and wished I did it earlier.... a bad RE / clinic just makes the experience that much worse.

I feel you on the FB business.... I avoid it like the plague. But of course sister-in-law who was trying for 3 mos is prego and best friend just delivered, so even without social media, it's baby news all day, every day. For the most part I'm okay with everything, but every now and then, I'll just get in a funk for a bit. You're not alone!