TTC After a Loss

first AF since we started trying. Tell me it gets easier.

cammlyncammlyn member
edited July 2015 in TTC After a Loss
I really did not expect it to hit me this hard this month. I had told my husband that it would be okay either way. When ever God was ready to give us another child we would be ready and until then content. Having my period show up yesterday was a hard blow. I want to know what I did not do this that that we did last that worked. I know I may not have ovulated when I thought I did. I know medically my body could have done something odd and I also know that this period is awful. The cramps are intense. The mood swings are awful. And the pain in my heart is really. I just really want this baby. My baby. I want the baby that we lost. I want my life back. I need to know this pain and heart ache and emptiness will get better. One of my friends had her d&c yesterday and that has brought up a lot of emotions as well. The hospital I work for tired to call me in to work on our OB floor for a few hours today.. I couldn't do it. I cant face that floor. And if I am being honest with myself I am bitter to the mother that holds her new born. I can't do that. Not yet. Sorry I feel like that has been one big ramble of thoughts but it feel so much better just to feel like even one person it listening to me. 


Re: first AF since we started trying. Tell me it gets easier.

  • I'm here crying with you... Everything your feeling so am I... Its been 45 days and I still haven't had AF show up... My heart aches every negative test. I read it can take up to 8 weeks for it to start and the thought of not being pregnant for that long makes me just want to give up... But I know God has a plan for us so im trying to hold on to that. I'm praying for you....
    cammlynindigoskies
  • ThaNo you so much. It's like I know I can't try next month but that is another monthing of not being pregnant and that breaks my heart. Praying for you and sending good thoughts your way.
    jlamorte07
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  • I keep telling myself that this month I will go with the flow and not get my hopes up too high, but every cycle I find myself getting more and more hopeful and when I talk to my friends they tell me you should be hopeful, it is only natural.  I'm so sorry for both your losses ladies it has been 15wks since my D&C and I got my first AF at 42days.  Charting my BBT definitely calms me down because I don't get blindsided and I know exactly when AF is due, last cycle which was our first TTC I saw my temperature drop and it prepared me for AF and honestly I think that temp dropping was easier on my heart.

    I also suggest reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni W.  It is a great book, and will help you understand your body.  One last thing to keep in mind, even with perfect timing a healthy couple only has a 20% chance of conceiving each month, and it can take that healthy couple up to a year to conceive.  I'm not saying this to scare you just want you to know that what you did last time has no bearing on what you do this time.

    I wish you both the best of luck, hang in there because it is one hell of a roller coaster ride.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
    cammlynjlamorte07AL_TwinCities
  • I don't want to no get my hopes up because I know one day it is going to happen for us. And we will be in that 20% I think this month I may try temping. I have never done that so I will have t do a l
    bntfroggie
  • This was our first month trying and I'm in the waiting period but I'm so worried AF is on her way. Every little twinge in my lower abdomen freaks me out. A number of people on here have referenced Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Is it a "how to" type of book on charting, temping, etc. or more information and signs to look for?

    Here's hoping all of us can say goodbye to AF for a while very soon!! 

  • It is mostly based on Charting, but it is really so much more than that, it shows how to check CM and CP as well as other signs that you didn't even know existed.  It is definitely worth the read.  I feel like I now know how my body works were as my HS taught us if you have sex you get pregnant which isn't true at all.  I feel lied to.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • It sounds great, I just bought it on Amazon!

    bntfroggie
  • T&P
    @jlamorte07 I know the pain. I'm 7 weeks post D&C and I just had AF show up yesterday. I've been so emotional this week wondering if it would ever come and getting even more upset waiting to try again. I just want to be pregnant again. AF will come. Sending lots of good thoughts that we'll all be back on a month club soon!
  • cammlyncammlyn member
    edited July 2015
    T&P @jlamorte07 I know the pain. I'm 7 weeks post D&C and I just had AF show up yesterday. I've been so emotional this week wondering if it would ever come and getting even more upset waiting to try again. I just want to be pregnant again. AF will come. Sending lots of good thoughts that we'll all be back on a month club soon!

     
    I am exactly 8 weeks out of mine. I have been counting down the days to be able to test because AF was suppose to wait and come on friday but she decided to show up on Wed. So not only did she tell me I was not prego this month but she showed up early which was just very rude. :))
    jessicalacey1226
  • I know the feeling.  Getting AF is like a serious slap in the face.   *hugs* to everyone.


    First Pregnancy
    • BFP: 01/25/2015
    • EDD: 09/28/2015
    • Incomplete MC: 02/28/2015

    Second Pregnancy

    • BFP: 09/11/2015
    • EDD: 05/25/2016
    Baby Born
    04/15/2016



    PGAL
  • @Jessicalacey it sad yet comforting to talk to someone in your shoes.... I'm praying for you too and can't wait to see all the beautiful rainbow babies
  • JessieandAdamJessieandAdam member
    edited July 2015
    I'm right there with you! We're trying to get pregnant for the 4th time but yet to have a baby in my arms. Hoping for a sticky baby this time. I had surgery 2 months ago and hoping this round I'll be lucky:( thinking of you and hoping for the best :)
  • Update! AF started Wednesday!!!! So relieved that now we'll be able to track my cycle and officially start trying again! Still sending good vibes to you all!
  • Waiting for my AF, I have a feeling she is a long way out. I'm only 3 weeks past my loss.

    Good luck to everyone and hope AF is only a precursor to a lucky month for everyone.
  • My AF came 29 days after I had the D&E, I'm excited to begin trying again, but at times the weight of it all can be overwhelming.
  • Good luck to all you ladies :) we are temping, charting cm, and using strip this month. We are praying for our baby :)
  • I can totally relate! It took us 7.5 years to finally get pregnant only to miscarry at 13 weeks. I'm just praying that it doesn't take another 7.5 years to get another chance. Searching for any shred of strength left to keep moving forward in this difficult journey.
  • ALC08ALC08 member
    When we started TTC again after our first loss, I was a little like a raging lunatic around my period. Hormones I guess?! I felt crazy. It only got better when I found out I was pregnant again. I am hoping it is not like that this time!
  • It's like getting pregnant again is all I can think about. It is mind consuming.
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