Hello out there?

Knottie16743552

where is everyone lately? It's been empty in here...

amimhof

I'm here, but having been having issues posting to the board. fingers crossed this works. It's the second computer and 4th browser I've tried. How are you? How is your temping going? Have you decided to stop or change anything?

thistle8677

*losses mentioned
*rant/vent


Hello, I haven't been on the board much in the past couple of weeks.
Today I feel like sobbing out of frustration and because I just want to give up on my dream of having a child with my SO.

Cd14, 7th effing day of flashing smiley & my temp dipped a bit because I slept with my mouth open.
We even took a trip to the Oregon coast just to focus on connecting and ttc, and now I feel completely stressed and down.

We've been trying for a baby since last September. Two losses since then.

I just wish I knew what to do with myself.
I wish someone could say "it WILL happen, just keep trying"
Because what if it never happens?

Sorry.
I suck right now.

Carazona5

I'm here but I've noticed it's been slow also.

@thistle8677 you don't suck!! I'm so sorry for everything you've been through and how you're feeling now. I'm sure no one thinks you suck for saying those things. I wish I could say more to make you feel better tho. *hug*

jilligan14

@thistle8677 I totally understand where you are coming from. I feel so defeated from time to time and just fear that it will never happen. I hope your time comes soon.

thistle8677

Thank you @Carazona5 & @jilligan14. The feeling of defeat is not easy at all, that's for sure. I appreciate the support xo

Tomerine

I've been having trouble posting, too, even on mobile despite what they've been saying about it not being mobile. Anyhoo... I've been reading and catching up on everyone, and am sorry that the general mood here is frustrated and defeated. I don't know what I'm feeling (it's BD time- got the solid smiley today after 5 days of flashing). I'd like to be optimistic because I'm on Clomid for the first cycle and blah blah blah. But I'm either too tired or just don't want to get my hopes up. It's all exhausting. I feel bad greeting DH when he gets home tonight with that attitude: "Ok stick it in me. Yawwwwn." (too graphic? ) All I know is, it's time for some good news around here. I'm rooting for you all!

carrieandr

I was having issues posting, too. I'm here now!

As for good news, there was a girl that was in Nov 2015 with me that is pregnant again. She was Novemberbaby2 and changed to MayBeSomeDay16. @thistle8677 might remember her.

AMDR1979

I was wondering if it was always this slow in here.

@thistle8677 Do you live in Oregon? That's my home state! Now I'm Texas

amimhof

Hi @thistle8677!

1.  You don't suck!

2.  I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and frustration.

3. YOU DON'T SUCK! 

I hope things get better for you soon.

And for anyone else reading and not being able to post, admins just posted an update!

dolphin012

i am here - was also having trouble posting. 

@thistle8677 - hang in there and i agree with amimhof -- you don't suck. But i think fare to say this whole ttc thing often does. 

rowennagal

I should O any day now. Both DH and I had horrible days at work yesterday and neither of us were "in the mood" but we did it anyway. I wish TTC wasn't so daunting. It's supposed to be so fabulous. I guess it is for the women who just look at a penis and get prego!
I'm still waiting for that bright dual line....then the TWW begins.
FX for everyone!

AMDR1979

Another morning and no AF in site... (I always wake up and she has come). Now three days late. Got kinda snippy at DH because he doesn't seem to get the emotional roller coaster this is.

Knottie16743552

I woke up in Alaska this morning. Business. No DH. Of course I'm expecting AF to appear sometime during my million hour long flight home tomorrow... Ughhh.

At least Saturday is VACATION!

emsmama15

I can finally post again!!  Hallelujah!!

jlo1019

My follow up appt is next Tuesday with my OB. I'm excited to see what our plan is since my loss. Im trying to stay positive but there are times when my loss hits home. :-(

Andddddd on a snarky level... Why are there pregnant people everywhere since my loss? jeeezzzz they are literally everywhere! It's like pregnant-zombie apocalypse

thistle8677

Aww, I'm just seeing so many of you respond to my vent. Thank you!
I'm feeling better. I finally got a peak smiley on clearblue two days ago.
I'm trying not to be too over the top excited, just middle of the road hopeful. We got it on like a couple of bunnies this month, so fx!

@AMDR1979 yes, I'm in portland!

thistle8677

@Knottie16743552 Alaska!

thistle8677

@dolphin0214 how are you feeling?

@jilligan14 you too!

@carazona5, thank you...

@CarrieandRoy yes, that name sounds familiar!

@amimhof thank you, I appreciate the support!

dolphin012

@thistle8677 - I am hanging in there. Fortunately this is a super busy time at work -- in a good fun way -- so that has been keeping me busy. I get periodically sad and take a short break, but then can get back to everything going on around me. Good balance. I think my appt next week will be a good turning point as we will discuss the upcoming FETs. That should start shifting my focus forwards. 

emsmama15

@thistle8677 - yay for the peak smiley face!  (and for getting it on like bunnies - sounds promising!).

thistle8677

@emsmama15 how are you doing?
I meant to shout out to you as well.

I'm pretty sure I O'd last night or today, but my temp dipped low this am.
I think my BBT is messed up.
I don't know. I'm annoyed (again), because I know I'm gonna get all invested in FF's great wizard of Oz prediction of my O day and I'm sure it's not gonna be the day I'm predicting.
Wah wah
:-/

thistle8677

@dolphin012 sending lots of healing your way xo

rowennagal

@thistle8677 I feel your pain. This peeing on sticks thing requires a lot of emotional investment. If we don't get a BFP this month, I'm going to scream. My poor hubby is worn out from all the pre-O sex....he's like "haven't you ovulated yet???" I FREAKING WISH! I'm already anxious and impatient and the TWW hasn't even begun yet! I'm a mess....LOL

Knottie16743552

Yeah, the trying to do it enough times is making sex pretty robotic. DH loves it but I'm like ehhhhh...

emsmama15

@thistle8677 - honestly, I've been better.  Bad infertility week (BFN, residual cysts, ANOTHER month off), bad work week (busy as hell - 58 patients in our NICU this morning and we currently only have 54 beds - YIKES, issues with some of my nurse practitioners, etc).  I'm hoping to have a fresh start next week.  Fingers crossed.

(thanks for asking!)

thistle8677

@emsmama15 >:D<

BulgariHeart

I'm here but traveling so posting is a little difficult. I wanted to post on the check in thread before my flight but time flew (eh eh) and I still didn't make it... Typing on the phone is a pain!
I'll be sans DH for the remainder of my cycle so I'll give my Chinese herbs this time to work their magic until next month