pregnancy after recurrent loss

BGleckler

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby since last September. We had our first miscarriage the week before thanksgiving. I had started bleeding a few days before my first appointment, we had an ultrasound and heard our baby's heartbeat. The doctor told us we had a subchorionic hematoma, but the pregnancy was still viable. They told us to call back if the bleeding got any worse. It kept getting worse, so we went in again for another ultrasound. The heartbeat was still strong, the doctor just thought we were worrying too much. That was still within the 8th week. The bleeding never stopped, and when I called the on-call doctor the following weekend, she told me there was nothing to be done and it was pointless to come in for an appointment. I waited for my next appointment at 10 weeks, all the while having period type bleeding. I went in for my next appointment alone, and when I met with my midwife and told her I had been bleeding steadily since she last saw me she told me that we had probably lost the baby. She tried listening with a Doppler, but heard nothing. She sent me for an ultrasound, and the tech confirmed that we had indeed lost the baby. It had stopped growing around 8.5 weeks. They scheduled a d&c the next morning, but I never had it. The cramping started around 5 in the morning, but my appointment wasn't until 10. I had my husband call the midwife, as I was curled on the bathroom floor begging him to help me. She encouraged us to wait to go to the hospital until our appointment unless I was bleeding very heavily. The cramping continued, and I vomited several times, but finally found a comfortable and effective position that allowed me to cope with the pains. We made it to the hospital and were on time for our appointment, but I passed the baby in the hospital parking lot as we were walking into the building. I let the intake nurse know, and excused myself to the bathroom. They never admitted me, but the doctor took a look to see if I had passed everything. He said it looked complete, and sent us for an ultrasound. The tech confirmed that it was complete and sent us home. They allowed us to keep the remains, and we planted them with a mimosa tree this spring. Our second loss came just after my birthday in April, only 5 weeks along this time. I did not have another period before we learned we were pregnant again. We lost our third at 5 weeks as well. My doctor told us to schedule an appointment at the fertility clinic, as I had lost three in a row. She did some blood work, and it came back positive for antimitochondrial antibody. I was put on an aspirin therapy, but every time I asked questions about the antibody or treatment the doctor told me the fertility specialist would know more. I was encouraged not to read anything online about this, as it would just confuse me. I am already confused! Wouldn't it be more helpful to offer even a small explanation? At this point, I am completely in the dark, headed down a new path I know nothing about and I am terrified. My appointment with the specialist is next month, and my body is giving me cues that we may be pregnant again. It is too early for a test to pick up adequate levels for a positive result, we would only be 3 weeks along. I was told by my new midwife (the woman I've been seeing is leaving the practice) that I should seek therapy. I find the idea of going to a therapist repellant, so I thought I'd try posting something here in hopes that someone may have some advice, or kind word, to offer. I'm just so tired of feeling so alone all the time. I'm terrified of the testing this fertility specialist may want to try, and even more afraid of the results that he may find. So, if anyone has gone through something similar, or knows the way I'm feeling, please hear me and respond.

ChiccoBeanz

Hi,

  First, I'd just like to say that I am so sorry for your loss and I am very proud of you for coming out and sharing your story with us and to find support. Not everyone can do that. You are brave. Although I have not shared your experiences, I do have family members who have had similar circumstances. The way they went about it was by talking about it with family and then going on to share their experiences with others who are either not educated about loss and types of loss or by sharing with people who have similar experiences. After they lost their first child, they have been blessed with twins and then lost one. Personally, I feel that therapy works, but if you are not a therapy person, maybe aside from this board and the Loss Boards, you can look into community resources like support groups where you can meet with and speak to other women and families that share your experiences. They may give you some insight that you may not find here.  In regards to the fertility clinic, don't go until YOU and DH are ready. Take your time to heal and then get tested. There is nothing wrong with going at your own pace. 

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I just wanted to give you some support. I will put you in my prayers and I'm sure you will find the resources and support you are looking for. *Hugs*

PlainJane8350

What you've already been through is worse than anything that any doctor will recommend, I'm so sorry for your losses and traumatic experiences. I saw a fertility specialist after my loss and the testing wasn't bad at all. They just took my blood and a sample of my husband's sperm, and requested samples from the hospital that I had my D&C at to test the baby. While we were waiting on all of those results he did a vaginal water ultrasound to check my uterus for abnormalities. From the blood tests they discovered that I have a folic acid deficiency, which would have caused problems in a healthy pregnancy. They also discovered that I lost the baby due to trisomy 13, so nothing could have been done. I never got a positive pregnancy test until the first morning of what should have been my next period. If you do get a positive test, then they should bring you in earlier. Did they mention anything about MTHFR? I have the folic acid side of it, but I hear women taking aspirin for the other side. I think it's O.K. to Google what they diagnosed you with in the meantime, just trust your doctor and stick to your aspirin therapy. I know it's scary, but it sounds like they identified your problem and that you're finally on the right track.

shaley29

So sorry for your losses! My first pregnancy was an ectopic, which I ended up in emergency surgery for since my tube burst. The next three I lost all very early like you, around 4-5 weeks. Finally I had bloodwork done, and they found the MTHFR defect pp was talking about. They put me on progesterone suppositories and baby aspirin along with b complex and folic acid. I am now 39 weeks pregnant expecting our little girl any day now. Due to the gene defect I have a tenancy to have blood clots, which during my period this is all I have...huge ones (sorry it's gross I know) I believe the progesterone is really what helped me as it helps promote a healthy uterine lining. That being said, don't be afraid to get help! Any test, medicine etc. is worth it if it ends in having a baby! I told myself that even if it ended up I couldn't have babies at least I would know and not always wonder/worry. Hang in there, I know exactly how you feel, but there is hope!!

rhodelladay

Hi there,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know how it feels, having lost 5 pregnancies in a row over the course of two years. It's devastating and can be really hard on your relationship so I would say yes to therapy. It helped me. As did yoga and acupuncture. Anything to live in the moment. I was referred to a recurrent pregnancy loss centre after my third loss. They tested my blood and inside of uterus. Turns out I have antiphospholipid antibody syndrome which causes blood clotting. I also had uterine adhesions from the d&c I had after my last loss at 12 weeks. I had to have surgery to get those removed and then tried again. I was put on daily injections of heparin, aspirin, as well as progesterone for the first few weeks. Here I am at 39 weeks expecting a healthy baby boy and just praying that all goes well during delivery and I can bring him home.
All the best to you. Hang in there! You're on a long journey.

jessyluscious77

So sorry for your repeat losses. I am also a repeat loss mom having had 5 missed miscarriages in a row. Some were due to chromosomal abnormalities, the others had no explanation. I just wanted to offer some encouragement to you. My husband and I decided to try one more time and we are currently expecting our baby girl in just 9 days! The only thing I was doing differently was taking high dose of vitamin D3 along with my prenatal vitamin prior to conception. It may be beneficial to give your body a break before trying again as well. You need to recoup from all the losses. I waited just shy of a year from my last loss. I had just had 3 back to back and it really took it's took physically and emotionally. Best of luck to you!

BGleckler

Thanks for the well wishes. Since my last post, I have started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. After a brief appointment with him, and about 15 different tests, I am still waiting on results. It has been less than a week since my first visit, and I find myself leaping for the phone every time it rings hoping my doctor is on the other end of the line. I do this even when I know my doctor's office is closed. I feel like I'm living in a world where logic doesn't prevail, and all I'm reduced to is a raw exposed nerve. I like to think I'm a patient person, but I feel like I've been waiting for years. I wait for the dipstick to turn positive, then I wait to see if the spotting that follows a few weeks later is really what I think it is, then I wait for my doctor to have an open appointment only to learn that they have no answers to offer. Now I wait for blood tests to come, and my next period to come so I can get more blood tests. It comes down to this: I am not equipped to wait for answers to the question "will I ever have a baby?" Maybe someone else has experienced this? It would help to know I'm not alone, and that I'm not losing my mind.

Lizstotler

I am so sorry for all your loss and all you have been through.  Thank you for sharing.

You are not alone.  In fact you most likely have way more company than you will ever know.  I started sharing our losses (politely) with people openly because people have no problem asking if we are going to have children.  It has amazed me how many people have come forth and shared their own loss, both men and women. 

We have been to multiple specialists and the only thing anyone could tell us is I have MTHFR mutation.  They could actually never tell us why we have not been able to be successful.  Which in a way seems more frustrating than identifiying an issue that could be treated or we could plan other wise.  We of course were offered IVF multiple times.  We did not take that route since we know we can get pregnant but it has not ended well.  So June 22,2015 we did embryo adoption and so far so good.  I know this is not an option for everyone but it was a great option for us. 

You will have a baby!

Liz

MamaRoni

I am so sorry you are experiencing all of this. I have 4 perfect boys... a single, twins and a single. When my last was 9 months old we had an oops that resulted in a BO. Then... this Feb we decided it was time to complete our family... and surprisingly got pregnant right away. Everything was perfect but we lost the baby at 11 weeks. I am now almost 5 weeks and having a hard time believing, accepting and getting excited. We have no explanation for either loss and they had us do no testing because we had 4 previous healthy babies.
I hope u get answers soon!

PlainJane8350

It's hard when your first pregnancy is a loss. I almost had myself convinced that it would never happen for me either and, I was 34 at the time, I also felt like I was running out of time. It's a horrible feeling. I'm currently 34 weeks as of yesterday so it can happen, even if you don't believe that it can. I know people who have had trouble conceiving and other people who have had multiple miscarriages and they all have at least one child now. Once you get that phone call (and answers), I promise you it will help. I still worry at we weeks, but getting those results is the only thing that really help me start healing and believe that it was possible. Just hang tight! And sometimes they do call after hours.

BGleckler

The first loss was the hardest....it was so unexpected. Now, every time that test says pregnant my stomach sinks. Three, back to back. It just seems like that's the only outcome I get. I hope against all hope that the next time we will be successful and I will finally have our miracle baby.

That's what drove me to this new doctor. Hopefully he will get us the help we need to carry to term.