Sometimes I feel like a single mom evn though i am married — The Bump
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Sometimes I feel like a single mom evn though i am married

Mu LT is 11 months , First time mom .... I work during the week... my girlfriend takes him 2 times a week & my hubby the rest of the week. My hubby is on disability and I swear I am doing everything. He isn't disabled and cant do anything....but it sure feels like. I go to work then come home & LT is mine to take care of. Don't get me wrong I miss my babyman and love him to death ....I just dint understand why I am a single mom that is married. It feels like that my hubby is just there to baby sit on wed-Friday while I am at work from 8am-5pm. I just don't know what I am supposed to do. I ask him to help and it is like I have asked to kill some one... I don't get it.... I know not all first time dad are like this but I just want to know if I am crazy.... Sometimes I cry when he isn't looking.... what am I to do....

Re: Sometimes I feel like a single mom evn though i am married

  • You need to talk to him.
  • I can definitely empathize. My husband works a lot, so I have a similar feeling often. I found that some of my friends with kids had similar stressors, and they became a great support system. Also, creating a sort of co-op for baby-sitting has helped. We've kept one or two of our friends kids for a couple of hours or overnight and they return the favor to give us a break. There are also free events at local libraries or family centers that can help entertain your little one so you can relax and enjoy your time with your baby. I would recommend talking to your husband as well, but having other support can help as well. Good luck.
    MrsStanger
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  • Make sure he knows that he will regret not spending more time with him child once the child is older.
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  • I feel the same way. My husband was working FT when our DD was a newborn, but was given a full scholarship for a masters that he has been wanting for years. We talked about it and decided he should take it. I work FT and do and pay for everything. We're okay financially but it's still stressful. I'll come home from work and find nothing has been done on the days he has off from school. He expects me to do it all and I'm over it. If I ask him to bathe or change our DD so I can tackle another chore, he makes a huge deal out of having to do it. It's like that with everything. I might not mind as much if I was shown some appreciation. I feel like you- a single mom who just happens to be married. I've told him I need help getting things done and I ask for help all the time, but any time I try to just talk about it, he gets defensive. I've told him just being nice, appreciative, and lending a hand would make a world of difference. I really don't know what else to do or say to get my point across. It's frustrating being married to someone who puts himself first. Sometimes I feel like my DD and I don't even make his list of priorities. 
  • That's really hard.  Maybe you could go to him and talk to him about how overwhelmed you are and all of the things that you feel like you are carrying by yourself.  Would he be touchy about you suggesting he get some part time work so at least that entire load isn't on you?  if you feel like it's going to be an argument would it be a good idea to write it all down in a letter?  Or seek counseling.

    I have a wonderful, caring husband but there are times when I feel this way too.  It may be a man/woman brain differences type thing, but it's like some things I feel should be so obvious don't even occur to him.
  • If you're a Christian, you should also try reading Power of a Praying Wife.  Prayer changes things that we can't change ourselves!
    RLY725FunnyGal18
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