Feeling guilty :-/

nakoppel

So this weekend my husband and brother in law went out of state to visit their dad for the long weekend. I decided to stay home because I just thought the 8 hour car ride would have been too uncomfortable for me. Well all our friends know I'm alone and they keep inviting me to BBQs and other fun things. Last night I was having some Braxton hicks contractions, nothing scary that would make me call my doc, but my instincts are telling me to take it easy and stick close to home. So I've said 'no thank you' to three different invitations. I feel bad because I know our friends are being nice and don't want me to be a lonely pregnant lady, and I don't want them to think I'm blowing them off. Luckily they've all been really nice about it but I'm hoping I'm not offending anyone or people thinking I'm blowing them off :-/. Anyone else sometimes pass on invites and feel a little guilty for doing so?

Miz_Liz

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand.

EmJ628

Miz_Liz said:

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand.

This!!

nakoppel

Miz_Liz said:

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand.

Ha! I love it thanks Miz_Liz, ,most of them don't understand the difference between BH and real deal so most of them just said 'if you're in labor let us know and we'll be there!!! I guess I feel bad because I'm the only one pregnant/with kids so I'm afraid they won't 'get it'. But like you said if they are true friends i suppose it shouldnt matter

malonc2

I've been on vacation with my in laws and my DH's family this whole week. They have been so generous and we've had a ton of fun (I wasn't sure how the beach would be at 35 weeks pregnant) but it was great! Today for some reason I am just done. I am ready to be home and I feel guilty because I don't want to seem ungrateful but I just don't feel like myself. Also I am not looking forward to the 7 hour car ride back tomorrow morning. I just want to scream and cry!! I feel like a baby but these hormones are driving me nuts.

nakoppel

malonc2 said:

I've been on vacation with my in laws and my DH's family this whole week. They have been so generous and we've had a ton of fun (I wasn't sure how the beach would be at 35 weeks pregnant) but it was great! Today for some reason I am just done. I am ready to be home and I feel guilty because I don't want to seem ungrateful but I just don't feel like myself. Also I am not looking forward to the 7 hour car ride back tomorrow morning. I just want to scream and cry!! I feel like a baby but these hormones are driving me nuts.

I'm so sorry youre feeling that way! I had to do a 13 hour car ride at 29 weeks and after that I was just done! No more long car rides. That's why I decided to stay home. Even though I'll miss my hubby and I love my father in law and would love to see that part of the family I just knew I would be a lot happier at home

johannaspisak

As for "not feeling yourself", trust your instincts. Don't feel bad for hitting your limit.

missmarissa711

Miz_Liz said:

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand. 

Oh @Miz_Liz , how many times I have read a post and not needed to respond because you literally have already said the exact thing I was thinking.

Robin910

nakoppel said:

Miz_Liz said:

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand.

Ha! I love it thanks Miz_Liz, ,most of them don't understand the difference between BH and real deal so most of them just said 'if you're in labor let us know and we'll be there!!! I guess I feel bad because I'm the only one pregnant/with kids so I'm afraid they won't 'get it'. But like you said if they are true friends i suppose it shouldnt matter

I'm a people pleaser so anytime I have to use the word no I feel guilty, I understand where you're coming from. Like PP have said, you shouldn't feel guilty. And honestly if they don't have kids or aren't pregnant you can probably get away with the pregnancy card a lot more lol. (I realize that's not what you're doing here.). My friends and family who haven't had kids yet treat me like glass and give me way more leeway than I deserve sometimes

breezymeema7

If you are concerned about upsetting your friends, just be honest. Tell them you don't feel great and that while you really appreciate them trying to include you, you just need some quiet home time. Don't feel guilty, enjoy some peace and quiet.

SashaDenn25

Miz_Liz said:

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand.

Im using my belly tomorrow to leave a 4th of July shindig early!! Im being greedy with Hubby and me time while DSD is with her Mom for the weekend. We are stopping by with our dish for an hour or two and then im saying im tired so we can go home and watch fireworks on the back deck together. Our first married 4th of July and pregnant...silly I know, but im excited about a little alone time/firework date night together.

malonc2

@SashaDenn25 We never get alone time and are doing the exact same thing tomorrow! It's hard not to feel guilty but we all deserve it

kettlekitten

Miz_Liz said:

I wouldn't feel guilty. I call my belly my "Get out of anything and leave any damn time I please" ticket. If they are true friends, they will understand.

I've also regularly used a newborn baby, a baby between newborn and toddler age, and a toddler as an excuse to not attend events or to leave early. Something about being a parent makes you care very little about 'being seen' at events or staying til the end. These little people are handy that way.