Trigger warning** — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Trigger warning**

myndihallbergmyndihallberg
100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
member
edited June 2015 in TTC After a Loss
I had a D&C in March (baby measured 12 weeks) and we had some complications during it and I had to get a blood transfusion. I know it's still early to get pregnant (4 cycles) but for some reason I feel like I won't be able to get pregnant after it. Especially after my second BFN in a row... I know that's kind of stupid but it worries me. My doctor didn't do the surgery but she says it should be fine. I just think how would you know because you didn't even do the surgery! Ugh, any advice or encouragement would really help.

Re: Trigger warning**

  • I seem to only be able to get pregnant when I'm not trying. First pregnancy was a happy oops, second we tried for 7-8 months and finally had success after a bottle of wine and not thinking about getting pregnant, third pregnancy I had the same mindset as you because it had taken so long with the last pregnancy, but got pregnant right away. I know it is easier said than done but try not thinking about it or try mentally coming to peace that it will never happen, then it will. Those have both worked for me, actively trying has never worked. I hope you get your rainbow soon.
    myndihallberg
  • I know it's frustrating to face so much uncertainty and limited control (esp tough if you're a control freak like me!!). I know it's also really easy to get totally consumed with thinking about TTC. Try to destress and distract yourself as much as possible - baths, walks, hobbies, exercise, movies, whatever helps keep your mind off of things. Journaling can help, too, to get some of the crazy-making thoughts out of your head. This sounds counterintuitive and contradictory to what I just said, but are you temping/charting and have you read TCOYF? I wasn't temping when I got pregnant before (just tracking cm) and I hadn't read the book. Since my mc I've read the book and started temping - I know it won't necessarily make things happen any faster, but it made me feel a bit more proactive and in control of the situation. Lastly, remind yourself over and over that you are patient and that you are resilient. It can take healthy couples a year to conceive. I know it totally sucks and isn't at all fair that you've already put so much time/energy/emotions in and essentially start back at step one, but remind yourself that this is normal. Trust your doctor and your body. I hope you don't have to be patient for much longer! Hang in there and definitely reach out whenever you need more encouragement :)
      

         TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow    

    myndihallberg
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  • Thank yall ladies. I really appreciate it. I'm not charting my tempts or anything yet. My doctor told me my tempts will be really messed up for the first six months since I received so much blood in the blood transfusion and some medication they had me on for about a month afterwards. I haven't ever charted my tempts so I was a little confused when he talked to me about it. But as far as taking my mind off things. I try SO HARD but then I have these moments where I'm consumed in the thought and it's so frustrating!!! Me and DH are trying for our first and we have had two losses so at the end of the day it bugs me when I don't know!!
  • Oh I know, it is SO much easier said than done!! Journaling can be great in those freak out moments. And some of the coping strategies posted on the mc/loss board recently were pretty helpful. I definitely have my moments too, though! Maybe make post-it notes with some friendly reminders to yourself and put them on the bathroom mirror, computer monitor, etc?
      

         TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow    

    myndihallberg
  • ALC08ALC08
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    I am right there with you. We have had two losses in the past year. August will be the anniversary of my first miscarriage. I will be 31 in sept. :(( I didn't think then, that a year later we still would be no closer to having our baby. After the first mc i really had a hard time. The holidays were awful and i felt like i was losing my mind. The thing that actually brought me out of it was finding out i was pregnant again in march. I was monitored closely with my recent history and at about 7 weeks we realized i would be mc again. I opted for a natural miscarriage this time which was hard. I had to wait two weeks for it to happen. I guess i am a little more numb this time, but we haven't started ttc yet. It is so hard to wait when you want a baby so bad. I don't really have any help or advice to offer you but hang in there. I hope you don't have to wait long and you get your sweet baby soon!
  • @ALC08 thank you I hope you get a BFP soon as well. My heart aches so bad and all I want is to be a mother. I'm trying to stay occupied and look at the little bright moments I have everyday but it's hard when I see a pregnant woman or a mother with her child. I just think why can't that be me??? Its especially hard because I have a 2 year old brother (weird I know) but when I see my mother talk about him or see him plag it breaks my heart. Hopefully our time will come!!
  • ALC08ALC08
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    I know how you feel. Ppl that haven't been through it don't understand all the little triggers!! Anything and everything can bring it up sometimes. Commercials, other kids or pregnant women. And i love when someone random asks if i have kids. The dental hygentist asked me about it not long after my first mc and really kept prying. She finally got to "well do you ever want kids?" I felt like screaming!!! I know she had no clue but really! And i feel like every woman on the planet has announced they were pregnant since then. My cousin actually had a baby a few days before my mc so he is just a perfect little reminder. Its just really hard sometimes.
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