1st day back at work Monday at 7 weeks pp. I pumped every two hours, in the tiny bathroom suggested by my boss, which did not even have a toilet seat lid so I had to sit on the seat itself---ugh! When my husband came to pick me up with the baby, I was relieved to see he was unharmed, sleepy in his car seat, and unchanged--but DH said he cried a lot and fought the bottle. He eventually took 2 bottles but not all that was offered.
2nd day yesterday--I pumped every 3 hours at work, and crazy amounts came out of each breast--I filled all the containers I'd brought and even contemplated going to Walmart to buy more storage containers during lunch! Used a different bathroom where I could at least sit on the lid! Unfortunately, it was a busy day with a staff meeting and a trainee who was shadowing me so I didn't have time for Walmart and barely had time to pump. Experienced the feeling of engorgement and letdown while away from baby which made me really hormonal and depressed until I could be reunited with baby. Hurried home. Baby had taken the bottles better this time but had still cried a lot and fought sleep for DH, only having one brief nap during the day. DH left for his evening class and I really enjoyed my time with baby...he was so sweet and precious after having been separated...I just wanted to cuddle and nurse him, and he wanted the same. After BF he slept really well for me and I appreciated how strong our bond is and how well breastfeeding is working for us...now it is very comfortable and relaxing to BF, very different from the early days when I was in so much pain. And LO loves breastfeeding so much, always has. I had brought some work home with me and was able to do it while LO was sleeping. So happy with him.
Only 2 more days of work this week and my days will be shorter now that the trainee is able to take over some of my workload. My paycheck will be less than it used to be but I really don't care.
Grateful that DH and LO are figuring things out together and I can be assured LO is safe with him. Probably each day will be a little better with DH learning by trial and error what works to calm LO other than breastfeeding and LO learning to be comforted by something other than breastfeeding. Although I wish for a longer mat leave I think in a way this is a positive thing for us. I had been so trapped at home and preoccupied with everything related to new motherhood, now I can have more perspective and exposure to the outside world again. I feel terrible that LO is crying and difficult to console during the day, but in the long run, he will need to learn to settle with caregivers other than me, and he needs to bond with DH too, so although painful temporarily, once we get through this I think we will have a more solid and realistic foundation as a 3 person family. It was too unbalanced when I was doing all the baby work.
Your workplace MUST give you a private space for pumping OTHER than a bathroom...by law. How horrible.
@heidiiwa I agree with @jesshrou your employer must provide a clean, private area to pump. You can look up the laws in your state https://breastfeedinglaw.com and inform your boss. Other than that I'm glad that breastfeeding is going well with your LO!
Just got through only 2 days of work with no students. I'm about to start day 3 and we have a parent orientation later this evening. Hasn't even been a whole week and I'm so tired!!!
@lany07 Crossing my fingers things go well for you and your DH when you go back. I hope your students will be more understanding of you after having a baby!
And unlike FMLA, small companies are not exempt from providing a place to pump unless they can prove undue hardship. It expressly cannot be a bathroom. Know your rights, ladies, and don't be afraid to speak up. We all deserve better than a crappy bathroom.
Started working again this past week. Pumping every 3 hours in my car since I work in the field. Not so bad. Except for today I left my pumping flanges at home! Felt so uncomfortable all day. Now back at home pumping like crazy! Won't make that mistake again! Definitely will keep extra pump parts in the car.
Totally missing baby though. DH stays at home with him a couple of days and got annoyed today when I called a few times to ask how LO was doing. I'm like dude can you be more understanding as I go through this adjustment period leaving him all day??
And unlike FMLA, small companies are not exempt from providing a place to pump unless they can prove undue hardship. It expressly cannot be a bathroom. Know your rights, ladies, and don't be afraid to speak up. We all deserve better than a crappy bathroom.
Unfortunately not every boss is accommodating, I'm also pumping in the bathroom. At least they gave me a chair and desk to do so? While I would love to pump elsewhere, Job security is much more important at the moment. Legally I know my rights, but in a small company it would be really akward if I were to have to fight for it
Legally I know my rights too, but I am actually comfortable in the small private bathroom I found (not the one initially recommended to me, which had just an uncovered toilet seat to sit on!) so I doubt they could find me a better place. So I'm ok without bringing it up. I'm only working here till the end of the month anyway.
UPDATE - We're just finished day 4 of back to work/daycare! I didn't get upset until day 3 when I dropped her off and her teacher said she just loved to coo all morning, & then my LO just talked away to her while I was getting her things ready. I cried on my way to work then. But I was SEVERLY overtired yesterday & DH reminded me that our LO likes her teacher & is comfortable there, which made me feel better. Also, at work yesterday, I was pumping in my room with a sign on the door that said "DO NOT ENTER!" & a female janitor comes in to get my trash. Rattled my doorknob, heard me yelling "come back later" & unlocked it. She then went to tell another teacher that I was yelling at her & "playing on my computer" ?! Luckily this teacher is a BFing friend & set her straight & my assistant principal had a talk with the janitors about what "do not enter" means! So all is well. LASTLY, I was so run down & tired yesterday, LO & I came home & got straight in bed to feed, sleep, & relax. DH fixed dinner and brought it to us & we watched our shows in there. PLEASE don't let yourself get run down - take the rest if you need it. Being a working mom means you are full time ALL the time. & if you have a rough pumping day (YOU WILL) remember you can figure out the issue and bounce back! Ladies - it can be done! Take it one week at a time!
Today was my first day back. I had DH take him to the sitter's house. I was doing pretty good until I got a text from a friend while waiting for breakfast. She texted that the first day back is the hardest and she was thinking about me. So sweet, but the tears started. I got to work and during the mornings my when people asked how I was doing the tears would start. I did my best to immerse myself into work so I couldn't think about baby boy. By the afternoon I was doing better.
Our sitter texted me throughout the day to check in. DH picked LO up and said he had such a great day at the sitter's house and that her kids love LO. It was good to hear but boy do I miss my little guy!
I get sad thinking about going back on Monday. And I love my job I just miss my LO! Hoping this gets easier!!!
Are there any other navy mommys having trouble with the new maternity leave policy? Just curious as to how you are handling it, we're having too many issues where we are.
Okay. I'm on week 2 back & I'm struggling again. Any other working moms dealing with fatigue (LET ME EXPLAIN!) not just tired/worn out, but by Tuesday night I'm having stomach cramps & some loose stools & nausea. I haven't thrown up either week, but same thing happened last Tuesday & I felt so sick at work on Wednesday. We came home from work/daycare & I napped/nursed in bed all afternoon & went to bed at 8 which seemed to help. Am I just overworking myself? I fell asleep last night at 830 on the couch! It's really sad that there's this huge push to go back to work so soon, our bodies are not always ready.
This is my last week with LO and now we likely have to drive 6 hours to a wake on Friday ... I selfishly don't want to give up my remaining time with her!
@krystleshel I've been feeling fatigued too! I don't feel too nauseous but I think my sinuses are acting up.
Just got through day 2 with my students. Good lawd, I'm so exhausted!!! During my conference period I just want to sleep but there's so much to do. I keep telling myself just two more days until the end of the week. I'm definitely not being the best teacher right now and I hate that. I hope I'm not pushing myself too hard.
@hoodoll82 is there a way you could skip going to the wake? I totally understand how you want more time with your LO. The days counting down before going back to work always feel so short
Btw I saw the story you shared about the lady buying your formula! I loved it! Nice to know there's still good people that exist in this world.
@hoodoll82 is there a way you could skip going to the wake? I totally understand how you want more time with your LO. The days counting down before going back to work always feel so short
Btw I saw the story you shared about the lady buying your formula! I loved it! Nice to know there's still good people that exist in this world.
Yes! Current proposition is to drop me and LO off at my mom's house, who lives conveniently halfway between home and the wake. Which would mean some grandma time for LO and help for me!
So in the "worst case" scenario I'm still in good shape. Thankful DH is being so good about it. He keeps saying he doesn't want to ruin my last week with LO. It's not his fault!
I'm starting back Monday. Any advice from the moms who have already started? How did your LO handle the transition? I'm nervous. I feel like I'm about to disrupt her whole world & she has no idea what's coming. I know we can't be with them forever but the transition just seems so overwhelming. Not to mention still not sleeping enough which makes me more emotional. Thanks in advance for any encouragement!
I go back on Monday. Even though the days are exhausting with her, I am already missing her face (she's napping right now and I have a stupid urge to wake her up).
Go back Sept 21. I'm excited to be around adults again in the corporate world and feel like I am helpful in decision making (work in retail at corporate office) but also know I could get there and totally hate being back in that environment. Should be interesting, I just never saw myself staying at home all day for the rest of my life, maybe after kid 2 but not right now. We'll see how my opinion will be after a few weeks in.
I go back Monday, too. I have no reason to dread it as much as I do. I have a low stress, family friendly job, DH is watching LO for the first couple days, and I'm totally happy with our daycare. It just feels so soon. And a lot of time away. LO is just so small still. And I've had a good summer and don't want it to end. And I hate pumping- is going to feel so gross doing it at work. I still don't really "see" myself being happy full time at home for much longer (at least with only one. I get bored and isolated). Don't really know what I want but I'm going to look at some part time options.
Me-37, DH-38
Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012
Baby Boy born June 1, 2015
He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)
Something a friend told me - being a working mom makes you cherish & get the best out of time you have (instead of being over touched & zoned out). When I get home, all I want to do is play with her & read to her & snuggle her. After the first week - week and a half when she got used to it, she's been going to bed great. No fight. She does nurse more at home, which I've read is normal.
My start date originally was sept 9th but I just called today and asked to use 3 vacation days so now my start date back is sept 14th. Still don't wanna go back
Today was my first day. DH dropped her off at daycare, so that part was easy and I am always so busy at work I didn't dwell on it much. I was driving to pick her up and I got more and more emotional the closer I got - I just couldn't wait to know she was ok! I had visions of walking in and her seeing me and grinning really big, but instead her eyes were super red from not napping very well and she seemed in a daze. Poor dot!
She smiled huge at her dad though as soon as we got home. Stinker!
I know I'm the minority here, but I can't wait to go back and feel like a real adult again. This one has been tough and I feel like I'm not doing a very good job anyway. I'm not looking forward to the first 2 weeks of her adjusting since she doesn't nap well unless she's next to me or in the swing. But we'll survive.
I know I'm the minority here, but I can't wait to go back and feel like a real adult again. This one has been tough and I feel like I'm not doing a very good job anyway. I'm not looking forward to the first 2 weeks of her adjusting since she doesn't nap well unless she's next to me or in the swing. But we'll survive.
Today was our first day of daycare, and it went great. I agree with you, I was ready (and looking forward to) going back so my mind could be on things other than baby. And my babies aren't nearly as tough as yours is @Sammy K
Going back this Thursday, 3 days a week. I don't think I would ever truly feel "ready" for it. I will so miss these days with just LO and me, especially since now all my days "off" will be with both boys. Don't get me wrong, I love them to pieces, but it certainly makes for a more stressful day. I shed a few tears today thinking about it, but am also sort of looking forward to going back. I do love my job. I would probably love it even more if they hired a replacement for my former coworker (who was awesome) so I'd have someone to share the load with!
I am going back to work in 2 weeks and just found out last week that LO is refusing bottles. I didn't see that one coming since she was so good with them earlier on. Now I am trying to fed her atleast 1 ounce of milk a day from the bottle but has been an hour of struggling sometimes. I am stressed out about returning to work now and her being miserable. Has anyone dealt with this yet? (Used medela calma and Chicco slow flow)
I've cried 3 times today just thinking about going back and I still have 3 1/2 weeks left.
I joke a lot about us all reading too many parenting books, but the only one I've actually read was Dr. Sears' guide to the first two years. One thing he said that really stuck with me was not to ruin the time you have prematurely mourning the end of that time together.
It's a very rational approach to a very emotional situation, so may be hard advice to take... But it's something I've taken to heart.
I'm sorry if I've missed it, but are any of you ladies working from home? I "return" to work on October 1, and I can choose full or part time (because I could take another few months off unpaid, and my boss wants me back sooner, so is being wonderfully flexible).
1) I'm wondering about tips for working from home. Obviously I will have child care (DH, mother, MIL). But what else might I not realize will take my time, other than nursing?
2) we could use the money, so I'd prefer to work full time. I don't think that will be an issue, especially considering the posts from all the warrior moms here who work outside the home. But any reason I'm not realizing why I should stay part time at first? DH wants me to, to help with the adjustment (since we are temporarily moving yet again)...
Thanks for any tips, and apologies again if I've overlooked previous posts on this!
I am going back to work in 2 weeks and just found out last week that LO is refusing bottles. I didn't see that one coming since she was so good with them earlier on. Now I am trying to fed her atleast 1 ounce of milk a day from the bottle but has been an hour of struggling sometimes. I am stressed out about returning to work now and her being miserable. Has anyone dealt with this yet? (Used medela calma and Chicco slow flow)
Is it just from you? My LO has refused bottles from me for the last few days but will still take them from DH. I bet that at daycare it will be fine. Maybe the first feed they will refuse, but a hungry baby will take a bottle, especially if a boob isn't an option. I know it doesn't make you worry any less. I hope it goes well!
I am going back to work in 2 weeks and just found out last week that LO is refusing bottles. I didn't see that one coming since she was so good with them earlier on. Now I am trying to fed her atleast 1 ounce of milk a day from the bottle but has been an hour of struggling sometimes. I am stressed out about returning to work now and her being miserable. Has anyone dealt with this yet? (Used medela calma and Chicco slow flow)
I'm still working on the whole bottle thing.. She took a few when she was 2/3 weeks old and hasn't since.. Now she's Atleast playing with it instead of screaming.. Last night before bed it was dark and she was almost asleep , let go of the boob for a min so I stuck the bottle in and she drank a little! I'm going to try the same tonight. Maybe it will help with taking it during the day.
Day 2 of work and daycare. Things seem better! LO didn't have puffy tired eyes from bad naps today - so that's a win. She still seems very sleepy this evening I'm sure just from the huge adjustment and overstimulation. Putting her down for bed should be easy again tonight.
I think what I am having the most trouble adjusting to is the nightly routine. I feel like I see LO for 5 minutes before it's bedtime. That's a definite exaggeration, but I feel like I had prepared for quick, busy nights and its surprised me how much worse it is! Washing bottles, prepping things for the next day, bath time, bed time and maybe even a normalish dinner. I'm beat. Forget delivering meals to people with newborns! From now on I'm going to wait and take people meals once they return to work! (Only half joking)
@virginiaunicorn11 I'm not sure if that perspective helps you at all since you work from home and won't be specifically dealing with a daycare, but overall I'd say just the adjustment to the time not spent directly with LO and any extra prep is a big shock to the system. At least you can still do nursing breaks!
@virginiaunicorn11 I work outside the home, but I'm self employed, so I set my own appointments and schedule. I get very busy from mid September through Mid December.
My twins go to an in home daycare. I purposely chose to send them now, when my schedule is still light. This way, we can get used to our new morning routine without having the feel the stressors of getting out he door by a specific time.
I will ease my way in to basically full time days over the next few weeks.
If I were in your shoes, I'd start part time for a week or two, then jump into full time. Put a specific timeline on the full time start. Kind of a compromise. You'll get what you want (full time pretty quickly) and your husband will get what he wants (the transition period).
You'll figure out what works best for you. That's just my two cents.
@virginiaunicorn11 my husband worked from home for the first few weeks we had LO and I agree with pp, I think the adjustment of having to do things as well as work was a tough.part time could help with that
In other news, went back to work today . the daycare was great, lo seemed great...my only complaimt - lo smells like other peoples cuddles!
@krystleshel I am dealing with extreme fatigue too, very hard. Mine aggravates my chronic pain issues making it hard to sleep which doesn't help matters. Only 2 days down & work is so stressful and I'm only working half days this week too. Hopefully as LOs start to wake less at night we will get more rest & it won't be so hard.
@virginiaunicorn11 my DH works from home. He ends up helping with LO during the day way more then he'd like but who says no to a crying baby? It's only when I have to shower, etc stuff like that but still
I'm on day 3 of returning to work and HOLY COW I am tired for no explicable reason!
DH is home with LO so I don't even have the additional stress/earlier wake up time related to drop offs... I'm a little concerned! Although maybe easing in this way is the best way to have done it - LO starts daycare in 2 weeks.
First day back at work in the am.. I'll be the one hauling 25 bags of baby gear, pumping stuff, food (I'm always so hungry!), & my massive "purse." Will also be carrying DS1 and baby for the daycare drop off. I have so many lists of things to bring that I hope I don't forget something. I am, however, hoping that the chaos of the morning distracts me from thinking about leaving LO. Wish me luck! :-bd
Re: Working Mom Check In - Maternity Leaves Ending?
Just got through only 2 days of work with no students. I'm about to start day 3 and we have a parent orientation later this evening. Hasn't even been a whole week and I'm so tired!!!
@lany07 Crossing my fingers things go well for you and your DH when you go back. I hope your students will be more understanding of you after having a baby!
Totally missing baby though. DH stays at home with him a couple of days and got annoyed today when I called a few times to ask how LO was doing. I'm like dude can you be more understanding as I go through this adjustment period leaving him all day??
Also, at work yesterday, I was pumping in my room with a sign on the door that said "DO NOT ENTER!" & a female janitor comes in to get my trash. Rattled my doorknob, heard me yelling "come back later" & unlocked it. She then went to tell another teacher that I was yelling at her & "playing on my computer" ?! Luckily this teacher is a BFing friend & set her straight & my assistant principal had a talk with the janitors about what "do not enter" means! So all is well.
LASTLY, I was so run down & tired yesterday, LO & I came home & got straight in bed to feed, sleep, & relax. DH fixed dinner and brought it to us & we watched our shows in there. PLEASE don't let yourself get run down - take the rest if you need it. Being a working mom means you are full time ALL the time. & if you have a rough pumping day (YOU WILL) remember you can figure out the issue and bounce back! Ladies - it can be done! Take it one week at a time!
Our sitter texted me throughout the day to check in. DH picked LO up and said he had such a great day at the sitter's house and that her kids love LO. It was good to hear but boy do I miss my little guy!
I get sad thinking about going back on Monday. And I love my job I just miss my LO! Hoping this gets easier!!!
It's really sad that there's this huge push to go back to work so soon, our bodies are not always ready.
Just got through day 2 with my students. Good lawd, I'm so exhausted!!! During my conference period I just want to sleep but there's so much to do. I keep telling myself just two more days until the end of the week. I'm definitely not being the best teacher right now and I hate that. I hope I'm not pushing myself too hard.
@hoodoll82 is there a way you could skip going to the wake? I totally understand how you want more time with your LO. The days counting down before going back to work always feel so short
Btw I saw the story you shared about the lady buying your formula! I loved it! Nice to know there's still good people that exist in this world.
So in the "worst case" scenario I'm still in good shape. Thankful DH is being so good about it. He keeps saying he doesn't want to ruin my last week with LO. It's not his fault!
I still don't really "see" myself being happy full time at home for much longer (at least with only one. I get bored and isolated). Don't really know what I want
She smiled huge at her dad though as soon as we got home. Stinker!
It's a very rational approach to a very emotional situation, so may be hard advice to take... But it's something I've taken to heart.
1) I'm wondering about tips for working from home. Obviously I will have child care (DH, mother, MIL). But what else might I not realize will take my time, other than nursing?
2) we could use the money, so I'd prefer to work full time. I don't think that will be an issue, especially considering the posts from all the warrior moms here who work outside the home. But any reason I'm not realizing why I should stay part time at first? DH wants me to, to help with the adjustment (since we are temporarily moving yet again)...
Thanks for any tips, and apologies again if I've overlooked previous posts on this!
ETA Autocorrect prefers "booby"
I think what I am having the most trouble adjusting to is the nightly routine. I feel like I see LO for 5 minutes before it's bedtime. That's a definite exaggeration, but I feel like I had prepared for quick, busy nights and its surprised me how much worse it is! Washing bottles, prepping things for the next day, bath time, bed time and maybe even a normalish dinner. I'm beat. Forget delivering meals to people with newborns! From now on I'm going to wait and take people meals once they return to work! (Only half joking)
@virginiaunicorn11 I'm not sure if that perspective helps you at all since you work from home and won't be specifically dealing with a daycare, but overall I'd say just the adjustment to the time not spent directly with LO and any extra prep is a big shock to the system. At least you can still do nursing breaks!
My twins go to an in home daycare. I purposely chose to send them now, when my schedule is still light. This way, we can get used to our new morning routine without having the feel the stressors of getting out he door by a specific time.
I will ease my way in to basically full time days over the next few weeks.
If I were in your shoes, I'd start part time for a week or two, then jump into full time. Put a specific timeline on the full time start. Kind of a compromise. You'll get what you want (full time pretty quickly) and your husband will get what he wants (the transition period).
You'll figure out what works best for you. That's just my two cents.
In other news, went back to work today . the daycare was great, lo seemed great...my only complaimt - lo smells like other peoples cuddles!
DH is home with LO so I don't even have the additional stress/earlier wake up time related to drop offs... I'm a little concerned! Although maybe easing in this way is the best way to have done it - LO starts daycare in 2 weeks.