Am I able to give my daughter her father's last name if he has chosen not to be part of the birth?

ampucke

I am 37 weeks expecting a baby girl. The father, though a knowledge he is the father, chose to not be part of the pregnancy or the birth when the time comes. I am wondering if I am able to give my daughter his last name even if he is not there to sign the birth certificate?

BostonBaby1

First, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm not sure as to what the answer is. What I would do would be to call at the hospital and speak with the birth certificate department. They should definitely have the answer.

taysun

In MA you will not be able to put him as the father in the hospital unless he is there to sign a form saying he is the father if you are unmarried. I do not know if that will affect your ability to use his last name or not but it might.

ampucke

Thank you

blythecw

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BostonBaby1

Wishing you all the luck and please let us know how everything goes with delivery? (((Hugs)))

Mags128

I believe you can still give the baby his name even if he is not there. My niece has her fathers last name even though he is no longer involved and wasn't involved at the time of delivery.

jteix1

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/12593499#Comment_12593499

You can give your child any last name you want. If you want your child to have your best friend last name you can choose that as well. You just can't put his name on the birth certificate. He has to do that. You should ask yourself why would you want YOUR child to have the last name to a man that obviously doesn't care. Food for thought.

mb0112

Sorry you are in the situation but u agree with the @jteix1 . Maybe you shouldn't give that last name if you are going to be the one raising the baby.

mb0112

After I posted I realized it might sound insensitive. I just think you should consider how your daughter might feel growing up with the last name of a man she does not know.

My husband was raised by a single mother and his father was not involved from the start. His mother gave him her own last name. I think it was much better this way for him, because he shared a name with his mother, plus his aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents with whom he was very close. If he'd been given his fathers name, he may have felt uncomfortable identifying that way instead of feeling closer to the male role models that were in his life with his mother's name. It's pretty common now for mothers to have a different name from their children due to divorce or keeping a maiden name, but it might make things easier on you too if your daughter has the same name as you-- dealing with schools, paperwork, etc. good luck!!