i think my baby is manipulating me ????? — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

i think my baby is manipulating me ?????

My baby is 4 months and 2 weeks. He's always been a calm 'go with the flow' kind of baby. Recently though he's become increasingly difficult and fussy .

We are co sleepers . And I admit I probably cuddle him more than he cuddles with me. I also breast feed on demand . I will feed him whenever he cries and a lot of times it's just comfort nursing . When we are in the house I run to soothe him whenever I hear him cry and I struggle to finish housework because I must hold him.

Now he is ok if he's laying down for a minute but if you pick him up at all give him what he wants and try to put him back down he goes crazy . Or if you don't hold him exactly how he wants he gets fussy and stiffens up so u can't hold him at all.

I started noticing that if I set him down and let him cry for 2-3 minutes he'll stop crying as if nothing was ever wrong . Like he knows that crying will get what he wants but he is completely ok .

Am I catering to him too much ? Will he learn to be a little more independent ? And have I trained him to be a fusser ?

Re: i think my baby is manipulating me ?????

  • wintersongwintersong member
    edited June 2015
    Sounds like normal four month fussies to me, unless there is more to the story?

    ETA Your baby isn't manipulating you, just learning to communicate. Are you manipulating your partner I'd you ask them to get you a glass of tea or good your hand a different way? Nope.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • There is no manipulation going on at this age. Baby is just being baby. I hope you can find some time to rest. I know it can be difficult at that age.
    S: May 2011
    C: July 2013
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  • dufferoo said:
    I hate hearing the word manipulation being used with babies' behavior. It just has such a negative connotation. What your baby is doing is using the only resources he has available to him (crying) in order to meet his needs (love, attention). I've never thought of responsive parenting as catering to your kid too much, and of course he will grow to be more independent as he acquires new abilities and can therefore meet his own needs without crying. Cut him some slack!

    This. And stop overthinking it.
  • I treated my son the same at that age
    .always fed whenever he wanted and pick him up when he cried. He's over a year now and very much independent. He weaned himself at 15 months. The more secure they feel in you the safer they feel to explore. You can't spoil them at that age. Under a year was the best time! Now my son hardly likes to cuddle at all. He's just not a cuddler. Your doing it right!
  • Baby is being a baby. Try baby wearing if you need your hands free. When my daughter was a baby if she was fussing, I would soothe her and feed on demand as well. I also agree, that I don't like the term "baby manipulating me" or even "spoiling a baby". In my opinion neither is true. My daughter is 2.5 and she is very independent.
  • Be grateful you can cater to his needs so fast. We are having BFing troubles due to ties/low supply. Being strapped to a pump, etc makes this so much harder :(
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