Feeling not good enough wonder if I'm overreacting

kirsty100

So my boyfriend and I have a family member mil and fil) who are constantly saying that we can just dump our baby off at there house if it gets to much, which I have stated in other posts now it's changed to my dog being dumped, at there house it's been mentioned on many occasion that they think they'll be having my dog brutus for few weeks .it was stated in front of my dad and his girlfriend and I just turned around said no we will be fine, I have said this everytime they have mentioned it, but I'm sick of feeling like I'm not capable of looking after my dog and baby I would never just dump either I love my dog to death. It actually upsets me and im sick of these comments about the baby being dumped there so I can have a sleep and they actually used the word dumped and now there turning it to they'll be having my dog like f@&$ off I don't know whether I'm over reacting or not though. I just feel like they think I'm not capable of looking after a baby and a dog, it's really starting to get annoying because my boyfriend never hears these comments which I think is load of bs, it's gotton to point we have nearly broken up because of the way they behave and act towards me.

midge519

I don't think you're over reacting with the way they are wording it. They may mean it genuinely like to give you a break every so often and to let you adjust to the baby without the dog but they are going about it completely wrong! I don't have any good advice other than stick to your guns and maybe sit them down and explain why this is upsetting you.

Cupcakesandquilts

It depends. They may just be offering help knowing that you may need it. Honestly, having them keep your dog for a week or so after baby comes might really help. It's crazy overwhelming to have a newborn and your dog might get more attention with them for a bit. And having them watch baby while you sleep is also not a bad idea either. Do you normally have trouble accepting help or are they truly trying to insult you? It's hard for me to judge this not knowing any of you guys.

usmcrenegde01

I understand how you must be feeling. I know when I was pregnant with my daughter years ago I sounded the same with my ex husband's. ...in laws. Man could they tick me off lol. I agree with the post above mine. It's hard to say if they are just offering help or insulting you. I also agree with the other post saying that it maybe a big help with the dog being watched for a week or so. But don't get to upset. I know I called my mom a few times to come help me with my daughter. She had acid reflux and couldn't hold food down. She'd cry and cry. I'd get so exhausted I'd be falling asleep holding her. To play it safe I'd ask my mom to come over. Just a few times, wasn't till after she got diagnosed and received medicine did that stop. I also know my emotions right now are so strong sometimes. When somethjng makes me mad, it really makes me mad. When normally it would just irritate me and I'd pass it off. So keep that in mind too. It'll work out though, so keep ur chin up.

kirsty100

I'm type person if I need help of course I'll ask, but I want to at least give it ago before I dumping my child or dog, it wouldn't bother me if it was mention maybe once but this has been brought up on few occasions and really if I want help I'll ask my mum. I don't want to exclude them but I know I'm not respected by his mother and father mainly his mum she is over bearing mil and has crossed lines many of times so I feel quite insulted, if they said it maybe once yes I could accept it but they haven't, so it makes me feel as though I'm not capable or good enough. She has always made me feel this way it's just more annoying because I've said no and been so nice, but it's getting to the point where enough is enough. They won't be having our baby unless i have to go somewhere and my mum can't look after her eg emergency or something just due to the fact I'll give them rules and they won't follow and listen to them because they don't respect me as a person. She's also control freak so she gets very angry when I don't do it her way.

Cupcakesandquilts

Thanks for giving more of the story. I would probably feel like you too then. I hate accepting help from people who don't respect me. I just hate them thinking of me as vulnerable and incapable of handling everything myself. I have been accused of being independent to a fault however!

kirsty100

Really that's just mean! I care stand the thought of her holding my baby or being anywhere near her how bad is that!? I feel like horrible person but I can't help it. @Cupcakesandquilts

Cupcakesandquilts

kirsty100 said:

Really that's just mean! I care stand the thought of her holding my baby or being anywhere near her how bad is that!? I feel like horrible person but I can't help it. @Cupcakesandquilts

Hey, this is your baby, so don't feel pressured into leaving him/her with anyone you don't feel comfortable with. It's early now though. I know my feet changed a lot after I gave birth. Best of luck to you!

kirsty100

Thanks for the advice really helped @Cupcakesandquilts