@jefinley1, and that's great! I am quite jealous of those people that can have a glass of wine and stop. I am not one of those people, so keeping my kids away from it is all I know to do, because I feel there is no way to show them it can be a healthy part of life. I lack that judgement, as does a majority of my family. My FIL still offered me drinks for the first few years....sigh. Then he told me he wasn't really convinced that hubby and I were true alcoholics, because it was waaay to easy for us to quit. You know, after years of trying, failing miserably, and using pregnancy as an "excuse"....
@jefinley1, and that's great! I am quite jealous of those people that can have a glass of wine and stop. I am not one of those people, so keeping my kids away from it is all I know to do, because I feel there is no way to show them it can be a healthy part of life. I lack that judgement, as does a majority of my family. My FIL still offered me drinks for the first few years....sigh. Then he told me he wasn't really convinced that hubby and I were true alcoholics, because it was waaay to easy for us to quit. You know, after years of trying, failing miserably, and using pregnancy as an "excuse"....
Alcoholism is a really tough thing. It is unfortunate that your FIL did not support your recovery. Good for you for making healthy choices for you and your family.
I think that discernment is so commendable. I think that the healthy attitude that I have about alcohol comes from that "generational reset" where my grandparents stopped the cycle of alcoholism, and my parents were able to set a good example because they understood why their parents didn't drink. I think that I can drink with moderation not only because my parents demonstrated that, but because we very clearly understood, through stories from our grandparents, the negative impacts of not following that example.
I never understand pressuring people to drink, even if they don't have a problem and it's just a personal choice. As much as I don't want people telling me what to do with my body, I couldn't dream of trying to judge what someone else was doing with theirs, especially if it was demonstrating even more restraint because they knew that was best for them. I'm so sorry you would have that experience.
As a person in recovery who comes from a family of alcoholics and drug addicts, I worry quite a lot about whether our daughter will be genetically predisposed to addiction and mental health issues. It's actually one of the reasons that I decided not to have kids at first (my husbands family is just as bad but with mental health issues and cancers). Now I worry about the environment in which she's raised in. What can I do to steer her away from addiction? Is it even possible? I don't drink and my husband drinks in moderation so she will have a good example, but my parents didn't really drink heavily in front of us until we were adults. I have come to the conclusion that we will just have to be honest about the dangers of alcohol and drug addiction while setting a good example and hope that does the trick!
@Krysta6 Haha! That's fine. Frankly if everyone agreed with me all of the time it would make me nervous and I would get really bored. I also think that life experiences play a big part in how we form our opinions, so I'm never surprised that some decisions during pregnancy offend or upset some people more than others. I will sip, and I mean sip a taste of my husband's beer when we are out to dinner just so that I can know what he is talking about if he really likes it and I do it very discretely. But I never order my own serving in public simply because I am aware that different people have different experiences and opinions, and the side-eyes would really piss me off as it's my body, my baby, my research, my choice. But I don't feel like dealing with it, so I just avoid the scenario. Plus I've had no desire anyway. If I did get a side-eye simply because someone saw one of the tiny sips, I would probably deliberately make eye contact and take another sip while holding up my middle finger. But then I would smile.
I think that just like the sexuality topic, as much as I think that great lifestyle examples are definitely more helpful than trying to hide things from your kids (they will still one day find out that alcohol exists; I'd rather have some part in that discovery), our children will still make choices that directly contradict how we raised them and it doesn't reflect on our parenting at all. My sister and I have made very different life choices and while I feel like the good things my parents did certainly affected me positively, they did nothing to royally screw her up.
@jefinley1 I will say that you would never see me giving you a side eye.. I have enough class to at least not let random strangers know i'm judging them
But just for the record I am not going to try to shelter my children to the point that they don't know alcohol exists. I am simply going to educate them on what healthy drinking looks like (using my father or my in-laws as an example). I will also warn them that they are incredibly likely to have addictive tendencies due to parents both being in recovery. I was simply just providing you with an example of how sometimes it doesn't matter how great of an example you set, I think that is where honest conversations have to occur about the reality of addiction in our society.
That is one thing pregnancy has made SOOOO easy.. Want a drink? Nope I'm pregnant --- end of discussion! Its actually quite lovely and I think I'll miss that perk!
@frozenmommy I used to have the same problem with my family. My mom actually helped me relapse a bunch of times early on. Some people are uncomfortable with me being sober and that is not my problem. I tend to believe those who may be bordering a problem tend to be uncomfortable with someone who has faced that same problem. I am a FTM so I have no idea what I am going to do with my kids at family functions but hopefully I can teach them from an early age that they don't just grab any glass! But we shall see!
Not sure why you are asking the question again a month later, bump your post if you really want more opinions or ask a different app group. But since I spent the last 10 minutes of my life reading grown women fight about how to ask a question, I may as well answer it. I've had a few NA beers. Clausthaler and Clausthaler amber are very good and taste like normal beers, so I see no reason to drink a regular one, nor would I bc of the risks. But taste of beer and I like an quenches my thirst. I actually may still drink it after pregnancy... Bc then I won't have a hangover if I have more than 2! I have no desire to drink wine. I had a half glass of champs on our anniversary bc they brought a non alcoholic Bellini and it tasted like sweet crap so I had to add something! There are many NA beer choices if you go to a beer shop (I do live in Wisconsin so I may have more of a selection), but I would definitely check those out first before opting for regular.
In these kinds of [repeat] threads, it's ALWAYS the OP who gets nasty and defensive. Relaaaaaaaaaax, it's not that serious! Talking about sticks up asses/hormonal/mean is totally unnecessary and it's getting old. It's mean to call someone mean. Put on the big girl panties, and move on. It's just the Internets.
@Krysta6, yay! Congrats. I have been in recovery since 2002. And I agree that pregnancy has made turning down drinks a breeze! I have one friend that just doesn't get that I don't drink. He always hands me rum at gatherings. Not anymore!
I've had a few sips, but nothing more since finding out I'm pregnant. I drink the occasional beer or glass of wine normally, but I'm not a heavy drinker. So not drinking at all isn't a huge change for me.
I read everything and all she asked was a question in her own way. You responded first and set this whole thing in motion. She responded by putting a guard up which she shouldn't have even had to do Because its her question. It was "rude."
Respond to the question in a thoughtful manner or your going to push people out...make them afraid to ask a question because its not up to par for you.
I said "ladies" this is unnecessary so you may have "glazed over" what i said. I didn't say your a mean person. Your blunt which can be great but sometimes blunt can also include some unnecessary additives. This isn't the first question I've seen you respond to similar to this. Its like we have to ask questions on your terms or your going to have an additional comment on how we can improve...just for you...because your the only one who seems to be bothered by all these little details. You don't even have to respond but your choosing to.
Anddddddddd nail was hit. And now someone is going to quote me.. Cmon lets hear it. I got my feet up baby's kicking .. Woo hoooooo. Let's take away from the actual question asked yeahhhhh internet !!! Never doing this again lol makes me feel like my morning sickness is coming back. Bleh
@BrooklynBroussard you comment on literally everything and you keep going and going and going it's so annoying. And your little followers too. I don't know you and I'm not commenting further.
Good God. I wish there were more mean girls like her at my high school. I hid in the art rooms 'cause I hated the catty, petty ones that took it personally when I disagreed with them in class discussions. And that parallel was totally coincidental.
@carlymarie021, you are perpetuating the problem you have claimed by continuing to digress from the initial post. If you truly don't want it to continue, then please do stop.
First of all your labeling. 2nd this is a pointless discussion and u clearly were the mean girl in high school. @BrooklynBroussard . Mam.
Wow @BrooklynBroussard is one of the nicest people we have in our community. She always gives support, and tries to be informative when needed. I never witnessed any rude or mean comments from her. I just don't get it !!
Haha. I used to think I liked conflict because I can be good at it, but I've slowly realized that I don't enjoy it nearly as much as I thought, and I'm way nicer than I want to believe. Full disclosure: I was going to just let that whole new progression go, but as I hated high school and high school girls especially, that comment was like bait for me and I took it. I'll admit it.
I am guessing that the OP just wants some sort of validation to drink> I am also guessing she drinks way more than she should to want this validation. Talk to your doctor about it.
Unless you were on high school like, last week, who cares whether if not someone was mean in high school? We're grown up and past that stage, are we not?
@BrooklyBroussard, I was NOT suggesting that you were mean in high school as previously suggested. However, even if you'd been Regina George incarnate, it doesn't matter now.
Hold up ...if @BrooklynBroussard is a mean girl then damn wow i can imagine how you feel about everyone else on this group ? Why is it that ppl have a need to go and pick on the nicest one
@BrooklynBroussard you comment on literally everything and you keep going and going and going it's so annoying. And your little followers too. I don't know you and I'm not commenting further.
And another thing the whole point of this board is to comment and then get an answer and then comment back its COMMUNICATION!
I just laughed my ass off reading this entire thread.
My input though...I loved beer. But because I like a lot of higher alcohol content beer (like Dragon's Milk..eh..eh..anyone tried it?!) I abstain. Plus the smell of alcohol/beer in general makes me dry heave.
Just catching up on this thread since I was last able to read it...too funny! In summary: @BrooklynBroussard is the nicest, @jefinley1 the Flying Dog brewery in Frederick is probably one of the best brew tours I've been on (def go when you are able to drink), and @DeeGreer dragons milk is crazy! Not my style, but worth the try!
Also- I meant to find a Ron Swanson giggling gif re: me enjoying the thread, but found this instead. Which is appropriate bc it's morning and I'm starving.
(Dang gif won't play! Can an iPhone app user tell me how they make it work?? I did it once and now fail. Is it save and upload image, or copy the link?)
Re: Occasional beer ?
Back away from the TB. It won't hurt.
Wow @BrooklynBroussard is one of the nicest people we have in our community. She always gives support, and tries to be informative when needed. I never witnessed any rude or mean comments from her. I just don't get it !!
@BrooklyBroussard, I was NOT suggesting that you were mean in high school as previously suggested. However, even if you'd been Regina George incarnate, it doesn't matter now.
And another thing the whole point of this board is to comment and then get an answer and then comment back its COMMUNICATION!
My input though...I loved beer. But because I like a lot of higher alcohol content beer (like Dragon's Milk..eh..eh..anyone tried it?!) I abstain. Plus the smell of alcohol/beer in general makes me dry heave.
Also- I meant to find a Ron Swanson giggling gif re: me enjoying the thread, but found this instead. Which is appropriate bc it's morning and I'm starving.
Eta: nailed it!!