Can I please rant about my SO?

BethP321

I'll try to keep it somewhat short. (HA) I just got super hot headed and I'm not going to be able to even sleep now. It seems like lately we're fine -- when we don't talk. He always has to bring up work for some damn reason, and when he does, the first thing he does is belittle me and make me feel like garbage for currently not having a job. Six months ago, it was ME working the 9 hour work days (every shift in the book, but mostly I was waking up at 2am to be at work) -- But apparently none of it counted. And if I accidentally woke him getting ready, it was the end of the freaking world, OMG he would get pissed. But now, I wake up with him every day so I can say goodbye before he leaves, and try to be supportive.

Just now he woke up while I was watching tv, and he got super crabby and started fighting with me and he said "Oh well you just sit at home all day, you don't have to go work." Immediately I'm like "Yeah well when YOU sat home on your A$$ every damn day, you weren't even looking for a job and I didn't make YOU feel like sh!t." That shut him right up. I hate going to bed angry, but he shows me no credit for previously working a job (while he was playing xbox and lying about applying for jobs too might I add). AND shows NO sympathy for me being pregnant. The second he gets home it's all about HIM and he is in the worst mood ever. I wait for the kid to come home all day just to get complained and bossed at. We barely have "us" time any more. I feel like I am ramming my head into a brick wall with this guy. Everything I do is hopeless.

Rant O.V.E.R.

rebbeccaj

Write it down on a piece of paper and go stay at your mums for a few days. Explain that you need rest as you have his baby brewing and it's tiring!!
He shouldn't give you sympathy for being pregnant though. He should be supportive and caring.
My partner isn't exactly too caring until last night a snowboarder fell into me and he panicked for the first time. The actual first time I felt like he cared about the pregnancy.
I'm fine by the way ha
But still
He sounds a bit childish. Maybe get him on his day off when he isn't so stressed about work and bring it up?

mcrane8

Can I ask how old he is?  When I first graduated college and went from waking up at my leisure and going to classes when I felt like it, to working 9 hour days, 5 days a week, I was really grumpy about it at first.  I lived at home for a little while and my parents kept reminding me every day "this is what grown ups do".  My husband red shirted for lacrosse so he was in college a year longer than me.  I remember getting annoyed when he would call me at 10 PM on a Tuesday talking about going out.  However, it became normal very quickly.  I gave him very little sympathy when he got into the "real world" haha.  You go to work to make money!  And that's awesome.  He'll get over it.  

I understand though.  I kind of have the opposite thing going on with my husband.  We both work full time but I'm in grad school at night.  Didn't use to bother me that my days were longer but now with this pregnancy, and all of the bleeding I've had, I'm not able to do like...anything.  When he goes golfing with his friends, or to the beach, I'm sure my face isn't the sweetest.  I just remind myself that I chose to go to grad school, and the girl always gets the raw end for pregnancy, LUCKY US.  Did you guys make a big life decision that causes you to be out of work right now?  Maybe he can think about all of the great reasons you are where you are!  As a military couple, a lot of my friends had to give up their careers to move to an area with basically NO jobs, because we're stationed here.  Whenever their husbands complain they're like ohhhh I'mmmmm sorry....did my job move you somewhere you would never have picked otherwise?!  

SparklesC

He is probably stressed out because he knows you guys have to support a baby soon and maybe he feels he can't do it alone. Not that I am saying his behavior is okay, but maybe he doesn't even realize why he is so irritable. I would suggest sitting down and having a real honest talk with him. Try to not be defensive or accuse him of acting badly, just explain you feel there is a problem and want to figure it out.