Name stealing?

Love4littlethings24 · June 2015

I tried to use the search bar to find this but couldn't. So as soon as I found out I was pregnant I had a few people say a few names that they had "minesies". One of the girls I work with (granted I'm close to my co-workers, but not very close to this one) had called the name Jackson when she heard I was pregnant. I had told the girls my names I was thinking and she said that's what she wanted to name her son and I can't "take it". Now she is trying, she's been trying for 5 months but made an appointment with a specialist and lied about how long she was trying because she's impatient. Today we found out 80 percent chance it's a boy and she's pretty sure she saw his penis but was told to confirm in a 2 weeks at my next appointment. I'm overjoyed having a boy! I'm wondering how others would handle this or what they would say? I've been through 3 miscarriages and others over the years have named their babies names I was thinking and I was happy for them and never said anything rude or made everything all about me. Thoughts? What would you say? Jackson is the name we both loved but put it aside for someone else who "called it" but now I'm finding myself saying shove it.

steph_pegasus · June 2015

Who cares if your kids have the same name? It's not like they're related. IMO if you like that name, use it.

daninikicoli · June 2015

That's my son's name, we call him Jack.
I would just have a talk with her and tell her that's the name you and your husband both want... First come first serve. It's not like it's some rare, unique name. And by the time she gets pregnant, she may like another name.

My sister and I both loved the name Olive... The deal was, the first one to have a girl got it... She won. I may never even have a girl, so how can I claim a name I may never need/use.

BritDillinger · June 2015

Your baby. It's a name you want. Use it. Names on children are not put up for grabs.

willashbaby · June 2015

Yea it's not like you're sisters, she needs to get over it. You're actually pregnant, you can name your child whatever you want.

SummerOH · June 2015

Jackson is a very common name these days. There's no reason you can't both use it! It would be like telling someone they can't name their son Charlie, or Michael, or David. It's silly.

My sister stole the name William out from under me. Wasn't even contemplating it til I said it was the name we were planning on, then suddenly she became very hush hush about names. Her son was born 3 months before mine, and lo and behold, the name she picked was William. And to top it off, she doesn't even use it! They use his middle name instead.

I get it if you're related, but you're not! (Also, sorry to hijack your thread. Obviously I'm still irritated about it lol!)

bananers · June 2015

You can't steal a name, and I've never heard of calling "minesies" on the name of a hypothetical child you may never have.

mom2be2016 · June 2015

I would use the name if I were you, that wouldn't stop me from using the name if I loved it.

Monilee1017 · June 2015

There is no such thing as name stealing. I don't even believe in first come first serve. You name your baby what you want and she can name her baby what she wants. If there are two Jackson boys running around then there are two boys named Jackson. It's not that big of a deal.

peppercorn16 · June 2015

Another thing to add-- you might not know this lady forever, and you shouldn't change your baby's name for her!! In 5 years you or her could be working elsewhere and not in touch anymore, and you'd probably wish you hadn't let her help you make such a decision.

JandJ62914 · June 2015

That's obnoxious! She can't tell you that you can't use a certain name because she's trying to get pregnant and might have a boy some day. It's not like she's due tomorrow and that is the name they've chosen. And even then, you can still name your baby anything you wish! I say screw it.

Paige6410 · June 2015

She didn't invent the name. "Minesies?" Is she an 8 year old? If you like it, use it.

sck601 · June 2015

Name your kid what you want. She's immature for throwing a hissy fit about it and calling dibs.

imaclutz89 · June 2015

People change jobs. In a year you may not even be working nor talking to this person. I have a friend whose friend named her son Noah even though my friend wanted that name too. She also named her son Noah. It happens.

I do understand the other side of it as me and my husband has always been set on the name Riley for a boy since we met. It is also my husband's middle name as well. When my brother-in-law and his wife were pregnant, they wanted to name their daughter Riley. We did have an issue with that since it would be weird for cousins to have the same name like that. But thankfully they changed their mind and went with Allison.

Mamabeagle · June 2015

bananers said:
You can't steal a name, and I've never heard of calling "minesies" on the name of a hypothetical child you may never have.

You've probably never heard of it because it's actually "dibs". Most people are joking when they say that about baby names...although DH 20 year old brother was surprisingly upset we like Audrey because he wants to name his imaginary baby, with his imaginary girlfriend, that.

Love4littlethings24 · June 2015

Thanks for the opinions guys, she actually didn't say "minesies" but she just threw a hissy fit our names were on the same short list. Honestly eventually I plan on working in a different area and the thought of that and if she ends up having a girl, I'd be kinda pissed at myself I didn't pick a name because of someone acting 5. I just wanted honest answers, which I truly got. Hormones are a b**** and you all know and it's hard sometimes realizing I'm actually being a snatch or not lol

adcc43 · June 2015

Use the name if you like it. No one can claim a name for themselves. My second pregnancy we ended up having a boy. The name we settled on was Jack and when we announced a close friend said that him and his wife would be using the name Jack if they ever had a boy. They were not trying at the time but they would in a matter of months. They ended up getting pregnant and having a boy a year after my son was born and named him Jack. No one should get mad at you for using a name. They do not know how long you may have wanted to us the name.

ChelseyBels · June 2015

Pfft. She crazy. I say ignore her "minesies" and just name your growing baby what you'd like.

missperky · June 2015

There will be 3 other Jacksons all spelled differently in your son's and her hypothetical son's kindergarten class anyways. If it's a name you love go for it. Children are forever coworkers are not.
Edit: had more but it disappeared.

Sovvy · June 2015

You can't own a name, especially a coworker. I'd just keep the name to myself and announce when he's born.

lyannast · June 2015

Haha are you kidding? What a joke! That's ridiculous... You can name your baby whatever feels right to you...

I'm lucky in the sense that the name my partner and I have picked out for a boy is a bit out there so I doubt anyone will have taken ours haha. We love Shakespeare.. When we were 16 we decided if we have a boy, he'll be a Lysander! 6 years on, still feels right!

katie0613 · June 2015

I agree if that is the name you love them go with it, she is not family so you don't have to answer to her!! This is the exact reason we don't share our names with anyone. No one knew out DD name until she was born.

TurtleMeg · June 2015

Sounds pretty selfish and immature to "claim" a name. It's not your sister saying this so forget her and pick the name you want!

mamatofour1 · June 2015

This happened to my mom when she was pregnant with me. My mom had wanted to use great-grandma names-Caroline Elizabeth. My aunt freaked and claimed that's what she was naming her daughter--she was not married and not pregnant. My mom and dad changed my name and my aunt ended up never having children. (I know a bit different bc we are related but at the end of the day--you can't call a name!) Name him Jackson if that's the name you and hubby love!

Ps I love that name-my oldest is Jack and he is one of many in his school and church but it is still a great/special name!

Love4littlethings24 · June 2015

Thank you for all the wonderful Advice! I went to dinner with the friend from work I'm closest too and we had a nice talk. I had sent her some messages today and we talked. I think she will be upset but honestly I just don't really care. What if she doesn't have a boy... Then I'm just going to be annoyed. Plus I found out her husband doesn't even like that name... So yeah pretty selfish and I'm moving on with it on my top two !

MeghaJake · June 2015

I don't even understand why people in the same family can't use the same names. There are so many cousins in my family and my husband's family named Michael, Matthew, and John. It does not cause problems. I think this is a more recent thing.

rebbeccaj · June 2015

A bit off topic but how many weeks were you when they told you it's 80% chance your having a boy?
Congrats by the way

call him Jackson.
That's my surname

Tahls84 · June 2015

This is what's driving me nuts at the moment. Just stop telling people the names you have in mind, I found that the easiest option. My partner is super picky with names and out of the 30+ names I've come up with he has liked 2 and then my friend and my niece both piped up (both NOT pregnant) and said that's their girl / boy name... Too bad I say, it's also our choice of name and it's the only ones he actually likes. Hope that helped some what

Knottie1452445632 · June 2015

Lol I'd do what everyone's saying and say something along the lines of "well too bad I'm pregnant first, I guess we get to name our baby first" and leave it at that - she can make her own assumptions. If she has another hissy fit just ignore her until she's done and then say - "are you done?". Or as I did with my mil over my last pregnancy (she didn't like our boys name as she named her cat Oscar knowing full well it's been on our baby list for years - we wouldn't have minded the cat and the baby sharing names but she does !) anyway she threw a hissy fit saying I couldn't call the baby Oscar as it was an animal name!!!!! Bla bla bla. I said "well tough, we like it and it's a good thing we get to choose the name then - sorry no offence but it has nothing to do with you - it's our decision in the end" she was fuming but it got our point across. We had a girl (Keira) much to her relief but we are expecting again and in secretly hoping for a boy if only to see the look on her face! Oscar is definitely our name choice.

Do what you want, their name is for life and it has to feel right - regardless of other peoples feelings.

nickicb7 · June 2015

When I was in my 20's my uncle and his second wife had a baby boy and named him Nicholas. At the time I totally loved that name and wanted really badly to use it one day. I asked her what she though? She loved that I loved it and said she stole it from a friend who also named her son Nicholas. She thought it would be awesome to have multiples in our families. Fast forward to today and it's not even on our list. But I just thought I'd share because we are related and it was still thought to be okay to have cousins with the same name.

As an added thought, Europeans do it all the time... Family names and such. Who cares if people have the same name....

Also... Kids love having friends with the same name. I always felt sad in elementary school that I didn't have a name buddy. I didn't find another Nicole until higschool, now I have one in my class every year. Lol

I think you are totally in the right to keep your name.

SullyN · June 2015

I don't understand the problem with having children of the same name even in a family! Name the baby whatever you want. Also, before we were pregnant DH and I had a list of our favorites. Once we were pregnant we ended up not liking any of them.

ChipMonster · June 2015

SullyN said:
I don't understand the problem with having children of the same name even in a family! Name the baby whatever you want. Also, before we were pregnant DH and I had a list of our favorites. Once we were pregnant we ended up not liking any of them.

We don't even like the ones that were on our very short list last pregnancy... Not too long ago either.

Unless it's a family name (which I wouldn't do anyway), I wouldn't name my kid the same name as someone in our family. But friends, especially people that I'm not close to, so sorry!! They don't get to call dibs over you on a name. This is not calling shotgun in a car, this is what you want to name your child! Do what makes you happy! This girl won't matter in 6 months! Plus, I loved Jackson too but DH hated it so it was a no-go. If her husband hates it too I doubt she will ever even use it!

BethP321 · June 2015

It's kind of immature for her to "call" a name. She didn't create the name, there are thousands of people and babies named Jackson, so SHE would be the one stealing someone else's name. But who cares... if you love it, go for it. And if she gets butthurt, tell her take her drama elsewhere. I am browsing these name posts because I have no idea where to start for a name... good thing we have six months.

allyxo · June 2015

Jackson is such a common name. She can't be mad at you cause that name is everywhere. It would be one thing if it was a unique name.

Karenin · June 2015

You have the baby first, the name is yours. Also, if she loves a name so much that she wants to "call it" the best thing to do is not tell anyone her idea! Finally, a name like Jackson is not unique, so you can't really steal it- it's not like she told you some rare name you'd never heard before.

SparklesC · June 2015

I agree with others that you should name your child that if you like it. Who cares what she says. I would almost want to do it more just to annoy her

TTiger03 · June 2015

I loved the name Ryan as it was my grandmother's maiden name, but when I started dating my husband I found out his cousin had an infant named Ryan. He isn't really close to this cousin, but she likes me. He son is now 7. He is no longer "baby Ryan" but I'm still unsure of using the name even with different last names.

Besides, my MIL has forgotten the kid's name multiple times and called him RJ at the cousin's last birthday party. His middle name is Nikolas.

PreggoInTheCity · June 2015

I'm from the school of thought that unless you are pregnant as well, then you can't call dibs on a name. And even then, it depends on how close you are. I have two SIL's pregnant, one on each side of the family, both due in Dec. DH and I have accepted that they very well may name their kid a name we love and wanted to use, since they will have their kids first. Since it's so close in age, I doubt we would both use the same name. However I wouldn't be opposed to using that name with a subsequent child if we still liked it. I have 2 cousins named Kevin and if I was a boy I was going to be a Kevin, and nobody cares the name is used more than once. I also have cousins who have twin cousins on both sides named "Mike & Dan". Everyone actually finds it awesome and we all remember the cousins from the other side at parties since their names are easy to remember and my aunt doesn't care that someone "stole" her twin names. I say name your kid what you want and everyone else with just have to deal with it if they have a problem.