WWYD

twogirlsandagreen

*I posted an update. They will go without us thankfully. No one thinks the risk is worth it*

For my in-laws 70th birthdays and 50th anniversary this year, they want to take the whole family to NYC in December right before Christmas. My SIL, her dh and their three grown kids (college grad, college senior and HS senior) and me, dh, and our three (5, 3 and 1.5 months assuming he is on time).

I will be nursing, so don't want to leave the baby for 3 days because pumping would be a nightmare. I'm soooooo worried about the baby being exposed to diseases like measles. It's NYC. At Chritmas. Alllllll of the tourists from alllllll over the world surrounding us. I want to throw up when I think of him catching measles or any other nasty disease. Measles protection through breast milk only lasts for the first month according to my research.

Now, this trip was planned before our surprise number three came along. They are willing to postpone it, but I am such a pleaser and would feel awful as they have had our hotel rooms and play tickets for months now.

Ugh. What would you do? I am bringing our sitter with me so could leave him in the room with her the whole time, but I would have to go back to nurse every couple of hours which sounds like a huge hassle too.

tracij12

Full disclosure, I am NOT a fan of big cities, so I'm bias, but a newborn in NYC sounds terrible to me. I would likely opt out and offer to pay any cancellation fees but not let them postpone the entire trip.

twogirlsandagreen

They won't go if we all don't go together. That is the only gift they want. The whole family there together.

zaclina

That's a tough one. For me, my biggest concern would not be NYC (especially with babysitter staying at hotel with baby, how awesome!) but airplane germs. If your family was genuine about rescheduling and you are genuinely worried, why not consider "pleasing" yours and baby's needs? It sounds like your family is being wonderful as far as being understanding. What does your partner think? I can truly understand the concerns you have, especially since baby will be only half a month away from all those 2 month vaccines.

cmjn94

It sounds to me like you have awesome parents and if they would genuinely rather postpone than go without you, I think it's perfecty appropriate to take them up on the offer to postpone! Maybe discuss your concerns with them and you can come to the decision that's best for everyone.

twogirlsandagreen

zaclina said:

That's a tough one. For me, my biggest concern would not be NYC (especially with babysitter staying at hotel with baby, how awesome!) but airplane germs. If your family was genuine about rescheduling and you are genuinely worried, why not consider "pleasing" yours and baby's needs? It sounds like your family is being wonderful as far as being understanding. What does your partner think? I can truly understand the concerns you have, especially since baby will be only half a month away from all those 2 month vaccines.

Oh there is no way we are setting foot in an airport or on an airplane! We were planning to drive bc of the little one. My girls are awesome road trippers. It is 10 or so hours in the car.

My husband prefers to reschedule, but he loves pissing people off and not doing what they want. I think everyone is a little concerned about baby's health and safety. It's just that it has been planned since last year that is making this tough.

twogirlsandagreen

cmjn94 said:

It sounds to me like you have awesome parents and if they would genuinely rather postpone than go without you, I think it's perfecty appropriate to take them up on the offer to postpone! Maybe discuss your concerns with them and you can come to the decision that's best for everyone.

I'm going to call my mother-in-law tomorrow to discuss it with her. On one hand I fear that either my MIL or FIL will pass away before we go on the rescheduled trip, and on the other I fear with my baby getting sick. If something happened to him I would blame myself forever. Sigh. I hate ruining plans.

zaclina

twogirlsandagreen said:

That's a tough one. For me, my biggest concern would not be NYC (especially with babysitter staying at hotel with baby, how awesome!) but airplane germs. If your family was genuine about rescheduling and you are genuinely worried, why not consider "pleasing" yours and baby's needs? It sounds like your family is being wonderful as far as being understanding. What does your partner think? I can truly understand the concerns you have, especially since baby will be only half a month away from all those 2 month vaccines.

Oh there is no way we are setting foot in an airport or on an airplane! We were planning to drive bc of the little one. My girls are awesome road trippers. It is 10 or so hours in the car. My husband prefers to reschedule, but he loves pissing people off and not doing what they want. I think everyone is a little concerned about baby's health and safety. It's just that it has been planned since last year that is making this tough.

Glad to hear you share my fear of airports plus babies!!!!! It truly sounds like your family is very understanding especially that plans change for great reasons like the new family addition. It might end up being more enjoyable to postpone until baby is more engageable (is that a word?!) and don't have to spend half the trip worrying or feeling guilty about the slightest sneeze baby might make. Good luck!

Sbrouwer0706

I would probably still go...my doctor told me that the baby can carry mom's antibodies for a few weeks to a few months and those antibodies are still passed through breast milk. I asked because I am a crazy person who is probably taking my baby to Disneyland at 2 months old. 

JaqiDec04

I would go. And I also will have my newborn at Disneyland for Christmas. Our passes expire in January and we will not be renewing.

nbpa3027

I would probably go. I would take it easy and pick activities carefully. I would get a Moby and make sure me or my husband was wearing the baby close all the time(and not put them in the stroller). I would probably just give the family the heads up that you might not be able to do everything with them.

It might be an easy trip too, because you will have lots of hands to help with the kids so you don't have to feel guilty about spending 100% of your time with the baby.

dannie134

My sister had two of her babies while living in NYC and I'm pretty sure she went out, so it's not like babies don't live in cities too and do fine. I think it's more about your comfort level and whether you would be able to enjoy the trip and the family time, but I think you could make it work. But then I am also a people pleaser

Ree0123

I would wait until January. LO would have had her 3 month shots by then.

SweetnSassy23

I'm guessing the December time frame was chosen because the older kids will be on Christmas break?  How long would you have to postpone...springbreak? Summer break?

At that point LO will be older and harder to contain as he/she learns to walk. LO could also easily become overstimulated.  I would consider going. The Moby is a great idea, and you can leave LO in the hotel with the babysitter for evening activities.

twogirlsandagreen

nbpa3027 said:

I would probably go. I would take it easy and pick activities carefully. I would get a Moby and make sure me or my husband was wearing the baby close all the time(and not put them in the stroller). I would probably just give the family the heads up that you might not be able to do everything with them.

It might be an easy trip too, because you will have lots of hands to help with the kids so you don't have to feel guilty about spending 100% of your time with the baby.

I have a huge baby wearing stash and would wear him for sure - safety, comfort and warmth. You are right we would have a lot of help!

twogirlsandagreen

BrooklynBroussard said:

I really think you should go! If you are really worried about germs, there are a few steps you can take to help prevent or limit exposure. It might sound silly, but what about putting a hygiene mask over the baby's nose and mouth while on the plane or in crowds? People in other countries commonly do this when they are sick in public as a courtesy. I hope you can figure out what's best for you and get to enjoy this trip, whether you postpone or not!

A hygiene mask is not a bad idea at all! I was thinking I would put a blanket over his head too to help keep some stuff off.

on_the_move

I really think I would still go. Babies are born and grow up in NYC all the time.  An infant would be so easy to wear most of the time and having a sitter along to stay in the room would be so helpful for things you think a baby would be disruptive for.  Life doesn't have to stop because you have a baby.

twogirlsandagreen

SweetnSassy23 said:

I'm guessing the December time frame was chosen because the older kids will be on Christmas break?  How long would you have to postpone...springbreak? Summer break?

At that point LO will be older and harder to contain as he/she learns to walk. LO could also easily become overstimulated.  I would consider going. The Moby is a great idea, and you can leave LO in the hotel with the babysitter for evening activities.

Yes all of the kids are out of school, and NYC at Christmas is everyone's favorite time to go. Spring break wouldn't work because college, high school (public) and my dd's Kindergarten (private) don't line up. It would probably be postponed until next year December, which is why I worry about losing one of my in laws by then.

twogirlsandagreen

Ree0123 said:

I would wait until January. LO would have had her 3 month shots by then.

I wish we could push it off only a month, but all of the kids will be back in school

anorthro

Hmm. Given all you've said, I'd say go!

babealertz

New Yorker here. I am much more worried about germs on the plane trip we might have to take with the baby in early December than him getting sick because of a tourist here at home! I think if you have a sitter and everyone is diligent about washing their hands as soon as they enter your suite, your baby will be ok. If you are really anxious about it, don't do it, but as another poster pointed out, kids are born here every day!

gabrielafrnqyepez

Also a new yorker and I think if you postpone your trip you might run into bad weather! Christmas in NYC isn't as cold as most expect it to be, from what I can see this far the summer has started mildly ...few hot days but not too crazy. That leads me to believe the cold snow days might not come till Jan mb Feb those and March are you bad months ! @BrooklynBroussard her idea seems good I see a good deal of ppl with the masks, I've even seen some nice kinda pattern funky cloth ones .smtn to consider!

twogirlsandagreen

I talked to my Sister in law and asked what she would do and she said she would be paranoid too. Suggested we postpone. Called my MIL and she said her and FIL would never forgive themselves if baby got sick, so they are going to go with my SIL and her family as planned, and we will do something with them when baby is a little older. I am so relieved that they are not canceling the whole trip.

MIL said, "it was a great idea when we planned it, but it just doesn't make sense to drag a new baby along and stress you out about getting back to nurse every 2-3 hours. I can't think of a better reason for plans to change than a new baby!"

So so gracious. I am relieved that we are not going but that they will still go with half of the family.

Thanks all for your input!

Telebell

I'd go esp if you have a babysitter! My daughter was born and raised in NYC, in the south Bronx, and we took her everywhere at 2 months. On the subway, buses, parks, and she never got measles! Our doc never had a problem with it, even before she was vaccinated.