Your life Changes right away, his doesn't. Is anyone else having this issue ?

brokelse

I'm 25 and my fiancé is 30. We use to enjoy a glass of wine and do things together all of the time.. Now I am feeling left out and becoming moody and angry because he can still drink and go out and I want him to change a little too and settle down more. He's super supportive but I am thankful but it's driving me insane. I know my emotions are probably Very heightened, I am just fearful if his lifestyle doesn't slow down now. Will it when the baby comes ? Is anyone else having these issues ?

shaybe90

I've been a little frustrated, too. My DH has been wonderful, but we hardly even eat together because he doesn't have to watch his eating like I do and it's super irritating. Also, he doesn't understand why I just want to sleep all the time when he's ready to do pretty much anything.
This is my first so I could be wrong but I've heard once you get further along it becomes more real for them and things do change.

JessHam55

My hubby went the opposite direction. When we had our first he became a real homebody and doesn't do a whole lot but play video games and work. Being pregnant with number three is really straining our relationship. With my mood swings and his not being home or playing video games I sometimes feel ignored. They say it gets better with time but marriage is never 50/50... Ever... Having my babies was a real life changing experience for me, but it effects men much differently. Don't worry. He will get better. What you want to do is focus on the small stuff he does.

ChipMonster

I don't believe that marriage is or should be 50/50 but more like 100/100!

With that being said, @brokelse I felt similar to you with my first. We were very lucky and got pregnant right away. I wasn't exactly expecting to be pregnant so soon and all of a sudden, I had to change my lifestyle. I knew it would come but it still hit me like a brick wall. It was hard to see DH do the same things that we both used to do together. I want a glass of wine or beer with supper too, I want to have a few drinks at social gatherings too. It's your old life that you need to take a second to mourn. For now, things have changed and it's not always easy. To be honest, it would hurt me more when he went out after DS was born because I wanted some me time too sometimes. Having exclusively breastfed and being unable to pump made the baby my sidekick. DH didn't go out often at all, and I didn't mind being with bebe all the time but you have your moments!

rubber ducky07

He'll slow down when baby comes. He will have to, it's exhausting!

BethP321

Mine shows little to no sympathy for this pregnancy at all. It's both our first child. Six months ago, I was the one working a job while he sat on his butt playing Xbox all day, not even trying to find work. Now that the roles are reversed, his only response to me is "well you don't have to go to work everyday, you just get to sit here." (what the hell was I getting up at 3am for every day while YOU lied about applying for jobs?? P!ss me off...) so I am NOT in a rush to find work at the moment. He can get a taste of his own medicine. I feel like crap almost every day and I get no help, but when he gets home from work, it's like the world is ending and I have to do every little thing for him. I kind of hope that it's a boy, maybe he'll be more involved in this pregnancy.

mrussello

Guys don't understand and they can't even empathethize (for the most part). My husband and I have been together for 12 years and we have a 3 year old and now this pregnancy. With my first, he just didn't get it at all until my last month of pregnancy and then watching and being helpless during labor and delivery. He really became a different kind of husband when my daughter was born. He still does what he used to(video games, hanging out, sleeping in), but he is more caring and always there for us. Trust me, I still have to remind him of house crap but it gets done.

When it hits him, it'll hit and you'll see it. There's just nothing for them to 'do' right now.

mamaksweez

We have a 1 yr old and the fact that we were having a child did not hit my husband until the baby was born! So frustrating! He was training for a marathon at the time and planned to go for a run, while we were staying at the hospital... Are you kidding me?! Once baby came of course he didn't go, but it was kind of shocking for me to see how much he was not affected by my pregnancy.
This time we both know what to expect better.

kalina27

I'm 27 weeks pregnant with our first baby and my husband went out with his friends over the weekend while I was at home in pain (pelvic issues). I was so mad at him. I called him out on it. They are definitely not as connected as we are. When our baby is born I think it will be more real to him. Hang in there. I know how frustrating it is.

leahabattle

Totally normal.  My husband only got better after witnessing my c-section.  They're just oblivious...and there are still days when the only thing I want to eat is his head...on a platter.

Evidenced from above, it's also easy to take all of those emotions you are feeling and channel them toward the one person closest to you.  Don't worry, it's not real to them until they hold the baby.

MollyA1011

I felt that way for a while. When he would come home and see me napping and ask me, "is that all you've done all day?" I would want to kick him where it hurts. This is our first child and I didn't realize how soon my body would change so I guess I can't expect him to either. When I've been sick he's been by my side though. As far as sticking to his normal routine... Yeah he still likes to have beer, but he doesn't go crazy. In my opinion it's not fair to withhold them from that just because we are pregnant. Sometimes it sucks but think of it as a privilege. Only you get to have that baby grow in your belly! Hope things get better!