finding it hard to keep pregnancy a secret from my family

KarissaD12

Hi
My husband and I live in another city from our entire family. We are currently visiting them all and Im on my 8th week of pregnancy. im finding it difficult to keep it a secret since most of our activities include drinking and eating (food not recommended to eat while pregnant ) example i had to get them to cook a welldone steak even though i hate well done. i had to have my eggs benedict without hollandaise sauce and eggs well done (so gross). No one has asked yet but i have a feeling they will. i just dont know if i could lie to them without it being super obvious. anyone have a similar situation? Or any thoughts?

willashbaby

I told my family. We are family after all, it's not like it was on FB. That was my rule, please no posting on social media until you see I have done it.

makeshifwings

Do you have strong feelings about not telling them until the second trimester? If you don't, I would just tell them! We told our families early, and it's been really awesome to have everyone's support through feeling sick and everything. I can't imagine going through this crappy first trimester and having to keep it a secret...that being said, if you do have strong feelings about it, it's only 4 more weeks.

Sovvy

If it's easier you really don't need to take those precautions with your food. It might make things easier.

SummerOH

If you don't mind them knowing, now would be the perfect time to tell!  Otherwise, just keep doing what you're doing - order cranberry juice and seltzer for a "drink", order foods that don't require a lot of modification (though I and a lot of other moms on here will tell you 75% of the restrictions are unfounded), etc. 

ETA - realized that they might be cooking the food and you're not at a restaurant.  I'm not sure what to do in that situation.  I'd probably just pretend I'd had a bout with food poisoning recently and am super paranoid.  But again, if you don't mind them knowing then just spill the beans!

nickicb7

Just out of curiosity.... What is the no no about hollandaise sauce? I have an ap that list foods and what to be weary of and it says no studies show that hollandaise is a concern.

Also I would agree with the other mamas. Since you are there with your family, it would be a great time to share. Unless it is not close family. We let our immediate family know as well. It's good to have some partners in on the secret, it's good support. But I also fully understand why people wait. Whatever is best for you!

LauraFi

I agree with previous posters, if you don't have any strong feelings about keeping it a secret from your family you can tell them. It's nice to be able to talk about it. We told my parents when I was just over 7 weeks because they were visiting and we live far away, this way we could tell them in person. My inlaws are visiting now and we told them in person too (at 10 weeks). Also keeping it a secret would have been a pain for the reasons you mentioned because they are staying with us, kind of hard to hide. I've also now told two of my best friends and three if our four siblings know. But they also all know that we still aren't telling people until later (mid July after our next ultrasound is the plan). We also told them that if they blab and it ends up on Facebook before then they won't find out early next time (this is our first out of two or three).

jlancaster2009

@nickicb7 I have never made hollandaise, but from what it looks like online, even though it is heated, the eggs are not fully "cooked."  Therefore the risk of raw eggs comes into play.

LauraFi

For hollandaise sauce I think some people may be concerned due to the thought that it uses egg yoke an maybe think it is still raw, but this fear is unfounded. As a cook and a fan of hollandaise sauce especially for eggs Benedict I don't see a danger. The egg yoke is cooked which makes the sauce thicken (same as making custard including creme brûlée).

KarissaD12

Problem with hollandaise is that my husband made it from scratch with raw eggs. anyways yeah just been awkward. mil:lets go to a wine tasting. me: i dont want to. Will talk with DH tonight and we will decide. you are right it would be the perfect time to tell them while we are visiting. instead of 4 weeks from now when we are far away.

KarissaD12

Thanks for the tip chef.

mdipianta

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! I'm still having issues. Every time I eat, I have diarrhea within a few minutes. I'll probably go ahead and call the doctors office tomorrow. I'm not worried that something is wrong with the baby, but I am a little concerned about getting dehydrated. I'm just not sure if its a bug or not- no other symptoms, just diarrhea!!!

SisterSunshine

I had diarrhea for the first 8 weeks, I'm 9w4d and it is finally gone this week. It was unpleasant!

PageNJewelz

I told my BF because she directly asked if I was pregnant. Telling her no didn't sit right with me. So I told her the truth and she was so happy. I also told my sister because we went to an amusement park for Fathers Day and I couldn't get on any rides so I just told her. 

neonpotatoes

We are trying to keep it a secret until 12weeks from most people. Told 1 sister whose due 4 days after me with baby2, told my youngest sister to help record big family event.

I don't feel right about lying about it, so I generally try and laugh it off or give them 'I am not amused' looks. That being said we have had 2 friends figure it out. One because I couldn't go to the shooting range with them, one because I kept moving out of her cigarette smoke, she joked about it and I'm awful at secrets!

With food, I think you're safer because you can make virgin drinks and tell people well done sounded really good today and then change the subject. Just keep an eye on what you say and have reasons for your actions!

l4rk

Ahaha, I would just tell them! With all the weird food requests, they probably already know (or strongly suspect) and are just being polite. Especially if they know you well. I'm a vegetarian and even I know that no respectable meat-eater voluntarily eats a well done steak! They might even be using activities like wine tours to test you...

MissMheMhe

We told both our parents and my sister and her fiance. I am waiting until a family get together in late July to tell my extended family....but it's hard!! My sister's bridal shower is in two weeks and my aunt and grandmother will be there, but I don't want to tell them without telling everyone and I really want to do it in person, so I'm hoping my bump isn't too noticeable at almost 13 weeks. 

failuretofly

I'm going home to see my family this weekend and I will be 9 weeks. I am planning on telling them because this will be the first grandchild and great grandchild on my mom's side so I want to see their reaction in person. I just hope I can keep it under wraps until the family BBQ on Saturday because I arrive on Thursday!