I am so sorry! This hurts my heart a lot. You're one of my favs too. You're so amazing, and you have a wonderful attitude through this. We all (obviously) love you and please keep us updated on progress!
I was so heartbroken to read this... I'm so sorry. You have given a lot to this group of women... My thoughts are with you and your family in this hard time. I hope that the doctors will stop the bleeding soon so you can go home to your family and properly grieve. I'm so sorry this happened my heart aches for you
"Can a mother forget her child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have enscribed you on the palms of my hands" Isaiah 49:15-16
Thanks ladies. This will be a little TMI but I think it may help someone maybe in determining what's normal/abnormal. I'm so glad I went to the hospital. I'm afraid I could've bled out at home without IVs or care.
After 6 maternity pads, 4 destroyed panties (one set of super comfy period panties I was kinda sad to see go and 3 of the *super sexy* mesh ones), an ambulance transfer, 4 gowns, 2 large bore IVs, something like 14 puppy (chuck) pads, an unknown amount of linens, and some really cool drugs I was taken back for a D&C that breezed by in 35min. My clots were getting up to fist-sized. My nurses were pretty freaked out/nervous. Basically, I told them the secret to keeping me happy/comfortable was just to try their best to keep me "dry" and to keep the packets of body wash wipes coming (heaven! Wiping with TP never felt so pointless. It was like trying to wipe while you were still sopping wet from swimming... it just disintegrates). Dry & clean = (everything considered) happy me. I was given a lot more cocktails after the procedure and a narcotics script. The most emotional/confusing point in all of it was when they provided me fetal disposal paperwork without much verbal explanation... opted for the hospital to take care of it in a (mass?) unmarked grave in a nearby cemetery after testing. I think I could only see doing the mortuary thing for a 2nd tri loss or stillbirth. I'm just focused mostly on physical healing. I think emotionally I made my peace with this possibility over the last month of spotting/bleeding/limbo.
I'm very pleased to say that I'm home now where a maternity pad with mesh panties can handle it now and clots are grape size or smaller. DH came to pick me up, unfortunately but unavoidably with my 10yo and 5yo in tow. I told them it was an ovarian cyst that had to be removed surgically since it was threatening torsion (mostly my 10yo, LOTS of questions). DH was able to go in another room with the recovery nurse and get all the nitty gritty post-op directions. He let his boss know and the Sgt. Major (boss's boss) is telling him to take a full week *off the books*. How's that for "paternity leave"? My one other IRL contact in-the-pregnancy-loop-from-the-beginning BFF knows, has experienced a loss herself, now knows and is available to talk.
This group has been really, really wonderful and I was so looking forward to going through the next 7 months with you all. I will miss you all dearly, especially those few I've really "clicked with" here. We will likely try again soon and maybe I'll catch some of you in a trimester group down the road.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. Your courage is astounding. I wish you a swift physical and emotional recovery, as well as much luck and happiness in your future!
I'm glad to hear they were able to get you taken care of, so glad you followed your instinct and went to the hospital. So sorry it turned out this way, I've been dreading seeing this post from you. I really enjoyed your contributions to the board and am sad to see you go. I hope you have a smooth recovery.
Oh no, I'm so sorry. This actually brought a tear to my eye. It's been so great having you on the board and I'm really sorry you are going through this. Leave it to you to handle it with aplomb! I hope you start feeling better soon. Thanks for sharing. Thoughts with you and your family.
Married DW 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 ; Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020
I am so, so sorry. I so appreciate all your kind words to me yesterday during my time in the ER. I really love your honesty and attitude towards this. My heart breaks for you and hope you are back on the boards soon. xoxoxo
Married- 7/17/10
Baby #1- "L.J."- 3/14/12
Expecting #2- EDD 1/8/16
"Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride"
I am so sorry, been watching for updates on your limbo and this made me so sad. I hope your bleeding calms down soon and you have a smooth recovery. So so sorry you have to go through this now.
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
I'm really sorry to hear of your loss, I'm glad that you're surrounded by such supportive people (both IRL and on here). We will all miss you on here - this is actually my first comment on here - but I hope you get to come back somewhere down the line. All the best for your recovery and for the future
I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your loss. I very much enjoyed having you in this group and will be sending out good vibes to you and your family.
I don't post here very often, but like others on this thread I was a huge fan of you and your writing and I'm so sorry to see you go. It's yet another testament to your character that you wanted to share more details with this community to help other women who might someday go through what you're going through now. ALL of your children are so lucky to have you as their mother. I'm sorry.
Re: Limbo is over :(
My thoughts are with you and your family in this hard time. I hope that the doctors will stop the bleeding soon so you can go home to your family and properly grieve. I'm so sorry this happened
"Can a mother forget her child?
Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!
See, I have enscribed you on the palms of my hands"
Isaiah 49:15-16
After 6 maternity pads, 4 destroyed panties (one set of super comfy period panties I was kinda sad to see go and 3 of the *super sexy* mesh ones), an ambulance transfer, 4 gowns, 2 large bore IVs, something like 14 puppy (chuck) pads, an unknown amount of linens, and some really cool drugs I was taken back for a D&C that breezed by in 35min. My clots were getting up to fist-sized. My nurses were pretty freaked out/nervous. Basically, I told them the secret to keeping me happy/comfortable was just to try their best to keep me "dry" and to keep the packets of body wash wipes coming (heaven! Wiping with TP never felt so pointless. It was like trying to wipe while you were still sopping wet from swimming... it just disintegrates). Dry & clean = (everything considered) happy me. I was given a lot more cocktails after the procedure and a narcotics script. The most emotional/confusing point in all of it was when they provided me fetal disposal paperwork without much verbal explanation... opted for the hospital to take care of it in a (mass?) unmarked grave in a nearby cemetery after testing. I think I could only see doing the mortuary thing for a 2nd tri loss or stillbirth. I'm just focused mostly on physical healing. I think emotionally I made my peace with this possibility over the last month of spotting/bleeding/limbo.
I'm very pleased to say that I'm home now where a maternity pad with mesh panties can handle it now and clots are grape size or smaller. DH came to pick me up, unfortunately but unavoidably with my 10yo and 5yo in tow. I told them it was an ovarian cyst that had to be removed surgically since it was threatening torsion (mostly my 10yo, LOTS of questions). DH was able to go in another room with the recovery nurse and get all the nitty gritty post-op directions. He let his boss know and the Sgt. Major (boss's boss) is telling him to take a full week *off the books*. How's that for "paternity leave"? My one other IRL contact in-the-pregnancy-loop-from-the-beginning BFF knows, has experienced a loss herself, now knows and is available to talk.
This group has been really, really wonderful and I was so looking forward to going through the next 7 months with you all. I will miss you all dearly, especially those few I've really "clicked with" here. We will likely try again soon and maybe I'll catch some of you in a trimester group down the road.
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17