How to handle or deal with situation

britneythebridexo

So DH wouldn't quit insisting that I pump milk so he could take me to the movies. After consistent asking I went ahead and pumped some milk. MIL came over to watch Oliver (my 3 week old). She's been bugging to take him to her house already since DH would take our first son over all the time since he was formula fed ( I couldn't BF at the time) but I am hell bent on Oliver not staying over until he's at least 6months - 1year old. Well she came over and DH and I went off to the movie. 2hr 30mins later I came back and she had fed him. Everything seemt fine until a day later when I realized she clipped his nails. She didn't ask, and she didn't mention it to me when we got back. I mean there's no free edge left. They cut my first sons nails the same way. I wasn't ready for Oliver's nails to be cut. I didn't want them cut. She also cuts my sons hair all the time when he goes over without asking. SMH. What's your advice on how I could deal with this? Plus she comes over all the time, secretly I think DH calls her and tells me to check up on me to see how I'm doing with my 4yr old and 3week old. I'm just so aggravated. I just feel like she takes my MOM spot.

lauraf314

I would be thrilled to have a date night out and someone willing to watch the baby that obviously cares about their well-being. However, your husband should probably make it clear at your next babysitting venture that you don't want anything cut or clipped. It's his family, and his responsibility to speak up.

frankengibbs

I think you and your DH need to have a talk about all of this. You need to be able to express your frustrations and concerns to him so that you can both be on the same page before speaking with your MIL. If you just leave it to your DH to talk to her before really having a discussion about what your boundaries are for your children and why XYZ bothers you, I guarantee you'll get nowhere. Also, if you feel like DH is going behind your back and scheming with his mother, now would definitely be the time to talk things out.
If I were in your shoes, I would probably just talk to her myself and say something to the effect of, "Hey, while I am thankful that you watch the kids, I would appreciate it if you asked me before giving them haircuts and whatnot." I wouldn't leave it to or expect DH to talk to her. I'm learning in my own life that if I'm upset about something my ILs have done, it's best just to my own foot down after discussing things with my H.
If she can't respect something as small as that, I would consider limiting her access to the children.
Good luck, I'm sure this is frustrating as hell.

ETA: I can't grammar today.