I have completely changed my mind !

jts2015

since my divorce I swore I would never ever get married but now I want to get married again. I come from a very traditional Mexican family and it's frowned on to have a child out of wedlock but my family doesn't shame but after a very very long talk with my grandpa he said he wants to see all his grandkids married before he dies and he's in his 80s. My BF doesn't want to remarry either so I'm kinda stuck.

Telebell

Hmmm...I would not get married just because your grandfather wants you to. That's just not a reason to get married. After your grandfather dies, YOU'RE gonna be the one in that marriage looking at 40+ more years together. Do it if it's what YOU and your boyfriend want to do. If neither of you wants to, that's fine! If one of you wants to but the other doesn't, that's a problem.

sbeltre

You can be engaged for a long time before marriage.

kmwl

Saying you'll never get married again because of a past divorce means that one past relationship has control over the rest of your life. While I agree that getting married just for your grandfather seems like a bad idea, holding on to one mistake is as well. If you've let the past go, maybe you're ready to embrace a new future. Talk to your boyfriend; he could feel the same way as you do about your chances as a family with the new baby coming.

caffeinatedkat

Yeah no. You can not get married to please another. You want to marry to make grandpa happy? Forcing a man into married to please family will never end well,

ealfornon

I have the same dilemma but mine is like I'm engaged for a year now, got pregnant, now my parents are rushing us to get married. Both my fiancé and I talked about it and decided not to (yet) for the sake of having a baby and my parents' pressure. Now I don't know how to tell them Bec I know it will break their hearts. Plus, I don't know if how long will this baby be illegitimate.

leighann1

Nope. You are wary because of a previous relationship. You say he doesn't want to remarry. Getting married because a relative wants you to is a terrible idea. All of this sounds like a recipe for disaster. While I can empathize (a bit) with wanting to respect the values and wishes of your family, it is absolutely not a reason to get married. 

There is no harm in waiting. It would have been excellent if our daughter could have met my mother-in-law and grandmother before they passed away, but we were not ready to have children yet. Rushing into it to fulfill a lifelong dream of theirs to have a grandchild/great-grandchild would have undoubtedly led us to resentment and frustration. I wish like nothing else that they could be here to meet her, but they can't. You need to make this decision for yourself and no one else, and it sounds like neither of you are ready to remarry. 

leighann1

Also, it's not realistic to use grandpa's age as a factor. There are no guarantees on lifespan. My paternal grandmother is 101. My mother-in-law died in her sleep at 63. Life is kind of a crapshoot. He could be here for another 25 years, in which case it's a moot point! 

jts2015

I was married for ten years I was a mitary spouse for 10 years. I've moved all over this country and help assist my ex husband mitary career. I am very understanding of how marriage is sacred. We would still be married if he didn't leave me for another women. I never expected to have another child and I didn't even see myself moving in with another man. Here I am a few years later pregnant and more in love with his father then before. I'm not pressured into marriage but any Hispanic/Latino who was raised in a traditional home knows there are always a group of individuals who are always going to be the glue. This glue for me consist of my father and grandfather. I'm not pressured into marriage they would think marriage is a solid foundation for 2 people who are happy. Simple explanation. I'm not even pressuring the father to marry me. He and I share the same views of marriage so it's not that big of an issue. So perhaps my message was interpreted in the wrong way.

amberrmariee20

I wasn't married before. And up until I met my current boyfriend I never wanted to be married, and I also didn't want anymore children. One person can have a positive impact on your life to reconsider strong choices you made in the past. I have a son from before me and my boyfriend met, he never had any, so now we are having a son together. We also plan to have 2 more after this, and eventually get married. Never say never. :x