Complicated, Not Pregnancy Related

katanasai

I'm not sure if you guys will have any suggestions that will help, but I'm at my wits' end. 

My ex husband went to jail, probably permanently, a couple of weeks ago. He has a toddler and baby with his girlfriend, who is 22 and has some pretty serious emotional problems on her good days. 

The girl is living at a church-run homeless shelter with the kids, for an unknown amount of time. They are safe and taken care of for the time being.

My ex's mother is a wonderful woman, and still considers me her daughter, and I consider her a second mother. She promised her son that she would do everything she could to help take care of his girlfriend and kids. However, my MIL lives in a trailer owned by someone who will not allow her to move them in (she has already asked repeatedly). She is looking for a different place, but that may take a while as money is tight all around.

I really want to help my MIL out with the situation, but I have a full house (including my brother sleeping on my couch), and my landlord is already unhappy about how many people live here. 

Does anyone have any ideas about resources available to mothers in this kind of situation? The girl is going to need help getting a job, and a place to live for herself and the little ones.

 I'm concerned for all of them, and would very much like to help. I don't like feeling so helpless in the face of such a strong need. 

LaurenBee24

What state do you live in? Resources vary a ton even county to county in most states.

katanasai

Pennsylvania

anorthro

I would call Pennsylvania 2-1-1 (pa211sw.org). My SIL worked for the Vermont version and it was basically her job to direct clients to community resources that could help them out through hard times.

ErinLily44

I'd love to help but I live in England and can't think of any suggestions! Keep going though as I think you're an amazing person to care so much

Cupcakesandquilts

No real suggestions, but I just want to say you're really a compassionate person, especially to people who some would have a bad relationship with.

Wigglesx2

Try local churchs too to see if they have programs or donations for the kids to help.

You're an amazing people to be helping.

LLynde5

I am from PA too. What part are you from? Our state has lots of benefits for moms. I would start with a welfare appointment to get some aid started, there are lots of HUD programs for housing support (some 100% state funded), depending on the children's ages Wic and state funded healthcare for children.

katanasai

@LLynde5 Central PA. I'll mention all of these to her, and to my MIL. Hopefully something helps!!! Thanks, all of you, for your kind words. I want to help them out so badly. I've been in bad places with my little ones and I never, ever want another mother to have to go through that kind of thing if I can help in any way.

LLynde5

My mom use to run the energy program for the Welfare for department for Erie County PA. Meeting the right social worker can change her life but she will have to seek out the help. I know that can be hard for some people to put themselves out there but there are good people that want to help and programs that have the funding to do so. I will keep her in my thoughts.

LaurenBee24

I'm in Florida, but I agree about calling 211. My sister worked for them for a time(the Florida crisis network here). They will know much more about what is available and can provide referrals for services.

MamaOwl15

I live in VA, so I don't really know what to suggest other than going to social services. At least in my state, the fact that she's homeless would get all her applications moved to the top of the list and make her a priority case for housing assistance. Also, since the kids are under 5, she should be as to get WIC.

jefinley1

@katanasai I'm from Central PA too! No longer there, but my family has helped out with this group through their church https://www.nhm-pa.org/ and I have only ever heard awesome things about their devotion to helping women and families exactly in the position that your ex's girlfriend is in. They have a huge network of churches that will house them, and connect them with tons of local resources, including help get state aid. The people I've met who work or volunteer with them very genuinely love helping people. My understanding is that they aren't super pushy about the religion part either, which I always think is good when your mission is to provide help to people in need. I would check them out if they are anywhere near your part of Central PA. And if not, they may have some great ideas for you. It is so kind of you to be looking out for them.