Parenting Prep Party... What do you think?

samantha5110

After 5 years of unsuccessful attempts with fertility treatments, DH and I have decided to take a break and focus on fostering to adopt. We sold our small, in town, house a few months back and purchased a larger family home with plenty of room to grow!! We will be settling on the new house the end of July and attending resource parenting classes in August. I would really love to throw a "heart warming party" - house warming and parenting prep party all in one. I thought it would be nice to invite our friends/family to our new home, but we will also need a lot of help getting things for the new child we are hoping for!!! So many of my family and friends have been "planning" my "baby shower" for YEARS. But that obviously isn't going to happen... What do you think?? How would you go about throwing your own shower/party? Of course in September, both the DH and I have a wedding were both in, and a family vacation planned. So it may have to wait until October. I would love to hear your opinions!!

AnonymousMom

Personally, I wouldn't (and never have) thrown my own baby shower. We also haven't really ever hosted a real housewarming party but when I bought my first house I did have a garden party a few months after I had moved in and that was fun to just be entertaining in my new home.   We're doing a bit of remodeling on one of our vacation homes this summer and are tentatively planning to host for Thanksgiving up there providing my husband can work his call schedule to accommodate.  That house is closer for a lot of my out of state family to travel to but also I think some of the changes we've made will just work really well for hosting a large extended family gathering.  We also have more property up there for the kids to explore.  

As far as baby showers for adoption, I think people can do whatever they want to an extent. However,  if you're planning to adopt through foster care you may end up with a placement that is past the infant stage so you may not need all the baby stuff but instead need toddler/pre-school stuff.  I think it makes more sense to wait until you have an idea of the age of the child you will be receiving as a placement. I know some people do combo adoption shower/meet the baby parties but in general I think those are bad ideas. Most of my friends who have adopted have been very focused on attachment and bonding those first twelve months so they have been trying to keep the child's world "very small" to foster attachment and generally that seems to work best.

Best wishes to you and your husband on your adoption journey.

samantha5110

I never thought about the small circle attachments... It's good food for thought! But I also don't want to hide them from the world... In the world of infertility, EVERYONE is nosey about what you're doing next, how your doing it, and when it's going to happen so it's hard to keep the lid tight on things. I know we will make it all work one way or another. Our family and friends are just SO excited about it and we have to remember to bring them back down to reality that this type of thing is very sensitive to the child and we can't overreact. I'm really excited for this new journey, but also nervous because we don't know what to expect!!

Beach_Bum718

I know I'm late to reply but my DH and I just started the process of foster to adopt and I'm researching all that I can! Unfortunately, our stories sound very similar, we've been trying for almost 5 years and I'm done with trying any more fertility treatments. We've always considered adoption but now we are actively going down that route. We just got the call yesterday to do our background checks and should get scheduled for our parent training this week. So very exciting! I'm also curious as how everyone else handles getting all the baby/child stuff you need during foster to adopt. I always imagined I'd have a baby shower to get at least some of it but as you learn in infertility things don't always turn out how you hoped and that's okay  

I think doing the housewarming/parent prep party is a great idea. From what I've found family and friends want to celebrate this journey with you so let them, it doesn't have to be full on baby shower-ish with games and registries but just a time to celebrate your new journey and new house. Congrats on the next step!

Knottie1442268460

When we started fostering someone offered to give us a shower. It was before any placements. At first I said no but then figured why should I miss out on this step into motherhood. It was nice with about 15 people there. Only girls. I registered on Amazon for a few things (like 10!) I was planning to purchase. In the comments I encouraged people to buy used. There was not 1 used present. It was simple. Cake, a few appetizers, bottled water, flowers on the table-no babyish decor.

OP what did you end up doing?

If we adopt the current placement I'm having a "celebrate our family party" to thank everyone for their support through this process. We're providing a full meal. No gifts are being mentioned, yay or nay, on the invites. We are not registering. If someone wants to gift they can. If not, that's ok too.