Second Shower

FriendlyGhost1012

I have been (mostly) a lurker here since I became pregnant with my son.  I was invited to a shower last week that made me think of you lovely ladies.

A co-worker of mine invited me to her daughter's shower.  He daughter planned the shower (her second child) and did not send me an invite, her mom made a Facebook Event.  I accepted because I thought it would cause work tension if I didn't go.  I get there around 12:30 and people are starting to arrive.  Co-worker said to be there at 12:30 and to bring a dish.  I arrived (did not bring any food, just my gift) and around 3 I asked her if her daughter was going to open her presents.  The daughter said she was just going to let people do their own thing for while.  It's been two and a half hours!!  Then the daughter tells her mom, "You didn't tell people not to wrap their presents."  She didn't want any gifts wrapped, but me and a lot of other people didn't get an actual invite so we wrapped ours.  Daughter then says she hates going to showers and sitting around watching people open gifts.  At least it would have been something to do instead of sitting around with people who didn't know each other!  I left after she said she wasn't going to open any gifts.  It's been almost two weeks and I still haven't gotten a thank you card either.

Disneygeek77

You won't get one.  Trust me.

FemShep

Wow.  Just wow.  Your co-worker should be ashamed.

wassuphoes

If I acted like that my Mother would smack me upside the head. 

DylansCandyBar

Ew. So gross.

VOR

I have to say, your post is exactly why I get annoyed when people (the ones who are trying to justify throwing their own shower or what have you) say "but they don't HAVE to come. It's just an invitation".

While I personally wouldn't have gone (I really would not care if something like this caused tension - it's my personal time to do with as I please), MANY people often feel an obligation to go to these events for a multitude of reasons.  People DO feel pressured to buy a gift and to attend.  It sucks - you shouldn't.  But it's reality that peopel do feel like this.  It's a cop out to try and defend being tacky w/ "but it's JUST an invitation!  They can say no". 

DylansCandyBar

VOR said:

I have to say, your post is exactly why I get annoyed when people (the ones who are trying to justify throwing their own shower or what have you) say "but they don't HAVE to come. It's just an invitation".

While I personally wouldn't have gone (I really would not care if something like this caused tension - it's my personal time to do with as I please), MANY people often feel an obligation to go to these events for a multitude of reasons.  People DO feel pressured to buy a gift and to attend.  It sucks - you shouldn't.  But it's reality that peopel do feel like this.  It's a cop out to try and defend being tacky w/ "but it's JUST an invitation!  They can say no". 

This.  You are putting people in the awkward position of having to decline and feel bad about it. 

blansaw

DylansCandyBar said:

VOR said:

I have to say, your post is exactly why I get annoyed when people (the ones who are trying to justify throwing their own shower or what have you) say "but they don't HAVE to come. It's just an invitation".

While I personally wouldn't have gone (I really would not care if something like this caused tension - it's my personal time to do with as I please), MANY people often feel an obligation to go to these events for a multitude of reasons.  People DO feel pressured to buy a gift and to attend.  It sucks - you shouldn't.  But it's reality that peopel do feel like this.  It's a cop out to try and defend being tacky w/ "but it's JUST an invitation!  They can say no". 

This.  You are putting people in the awkward position of having to decline and feel bad about it. 

I have had the opposite happen.  I forgot someone off the list, and was told an invitation would have been nice.

ChiccoBeanz

I'm just confused as to why she didn't have anything planned for people to do if she was someone who didn't like showers where you watched the mom-to-be open gifts. There easily could have been a game or two planned and like silly ice breakers at the table if people didn't know each other. I normally dislike showers myself, but if I were to plan my own shower, I'd at least have games and activities to entertain people. Also, my mother, whether I threw my own shower or not, would not EVER EVER EVER let me not send people hand written thank you cards or a thank you of some sort. But everyone is different.... I don't think this is about people throwing their own showers....this family was just umm....rude. Sorry you dealt with that. At least you know what pitfalls to avoid if you ever throw a shower.