New intro-warning — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

New intro-warning

Hi ladies,
This board is full of so much hope. Hoping you can send some of that my way. My h and I have been married 4 yrs. we have an almost 2 yr old who is amazing. My pregnancy with her was rough to say the least though starting with bleeding in the beginning and her needing intestinal surgery at 1 day old. We knew about this from 20 weeks. I ebf and didn't have a period and the. Found out I was pregnant when she was 6 months old. Again low progesterone, but this one ended in loss at 7 ish weeks even after seeing a HB. I always thought I would want more kids, but after these experiences I'm not sure. My h definitely wants more. What made you sure you were ready to even try again after your loss. Especially if you were questioning?

Sending lots of good wishes to all of you.

Re: New intro-warning

  • I don't have any kids yet, so there was never a question of whether I would keep trying. And I'll be 37 on Thursday, so I wanted to try again asap. As unpleasant as all of this has been -- the miscarriage, the d&c, and all the waiting -- I tend to stay positive overall.  I've definitely got my negative moments, but I think optimism for the future is just in my nature. And I know the sooner I'm pregnant, the sooner I'll feel like all is right with the world again.

    I wish I could give you a magic answer to give you hope. All I can think is maybe if you did some things that make you happy, that happiness could change your mindset a bit. Sometimes how we feel about one thing can affect how we feel about other things. Sort of like when you first start dating someone and you see the world through rose-colored glasses. Or when something bad happens at work and every little thing starts to annoy you.

    Good luck!  I'm sending hope your way.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15  •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3 (age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)

  • I just wanted to stop in and say Hi!

    Like CarrieandRoy I do not have any children yet and even going through all of this I know that the end far outweighs this inbetween part.  I think this may be a conversation you need to have with DH.  Explain to him that you are scared and it has taken a lot out of you.  Maybe you could agree to wait a certain time (like 6mos) without trying and then come back and visit it again.  I'm not sure how fresh your loss is (I understand it is always an open wound), but I think with time maybe you'll be at the place you want to be at, whatever you end up choosing.  Good Luck and we are here for you.

    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow"   Abigail Magdalena DOB 4/2/16
    BFP 2/9/15 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" Team Green
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  • Hello! Like the others I do not have kids yet, so trying again was never a question. Hopefully some of the ladies on here who have children can chime in with their experiences. Good luck and sending lots of positivity your way! 

  • Honestly, I'm not 100% sure we are ready to try again, however, we are 100% sure we want to raise a living child. Our loss was late (28 weeks) and it's super scary to try again, but we definitely want a living child so after lots of discussions between the two of us and our therapist, we've decided to start. There's really no right answer.
     Rainbow baby Savannah born 5.13.16 at 30 weeks    
    Baby Cadence born still 3.24.15 at 28 weeks 

  • I have one DD who is 18 mths. I had a mc in early April and immediately wanted to try again. My DH and i talked and we just know in our hearts our family is not complete yet. I remind myself almost daily that MCs happen sadly, quite often and ladies continue on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies afterwards. 
  • Thank you all! It's been a year since the loss. I think if I was ready to try when it happened, I might have been more open to trying again. When I got pregnant I had an infant, and had just started a new job which I would have qualified for leave from, so I spent the entire time worryjng about that stuff and not being happy. I was only finally getting used to the idea when it was all taken away.
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