MIL visits...

intheversa

Is it bad that every time my MIL comes by I go into full on cleaning mode? Makes my DH crazy. But she always makes these little comments about how I should be cleaning and how I shouldn't let the dogs have full run of the house (they don't by the way). She also has a maid come every two weeks so it makes me crazy that she even tries to comment. She's coming Tuesday to paint the accent wall in our nursery while we're at work so I'm worried she'll be poking around. Trying to clean up the best I can before then. Anyone else have this problem?

aah1013

Nope. My MIL says she doesn't come over with a white glove and expects that I don't show up at her house with one either. I used to still care, but really don't anymore. I finally believe that she actually doesn't pay attention.

intheversa

You're lucky. His parents are very controlling so I think that's a big part of it.

intheversa

I feel bad to even post this. She's being nice enough to come out and paint the stripe wall for us. I'm just worried because various parts of the house are under construction and they're not supportive of doing it yourself so I'm worried about what she'll say when she sees all unfinished projects and work and I'm not in the mood for another argument about why we should just hire people.

dparker721

I'm like this about anyone coming to my house. It has to be perfectly clean even though I know most people probably don't think twice about it.

tate62610

I'd tell her what I told my MIL "if you don't like my home, no one is forcing you to be here."

mrsdhouse89

I know how you feel. My MIL is not allowed over right now. We have too many projects going on right now and she always wants to help clean (her house is spotless) and it drives us both bananas because we just want her to enjoy her time at our house. I also feel she judges me if our house is messy.

cdepperschmidt

dparker721 said:

I'm like this about anyone coming to my house. It has to be perfectly clean even though I know most people probably don't think twice about it.

I am the same way. I got it from my mother and grandmother. No one judges, I just feel better if it's clean.

kaya1111

It should be a rule that if we can't drink our MILs should not be allowed over. Good luck!!!

LiveNLove44

kaya1111 said:

It should be a rule that if we can't drink our MILs should not be allowed over. Good luck!!!

A little bit of this today! I just thought of this as I got ready to have dinner with the ILs. A glass of wine could really take the edge off those dinners and visits! 

OP, I feel for you. Mine does stuff like that, too, and I am always working on not letting it get to me!

morganabyrd

dparker721 said:

I'm like this about anyone coming to my house. It has to be perfectly clean even though I know most people probably don't think twice about it.

Amen. I do the whole mad dash to straighten up when I know someone is about to stop by; even more so if it's my ILs. Unfortunately I tend to stuff things in random drawers in my rush and end up losing a lot of crap.

kirsty100

Haha my mil does same thing, so I really don't have her around after I went to Bali in jan they came to put tiles in our laundry and when we came home she rearranged my linen cupboard, went into master bed room ( I closed door so she wouldn't go in there) folded our close and re made the beds I had already made. I think she's trying to tell me my cleaning and bed making skills aren't up to scratch, my boyfriend told his mother off and she has only just come over recently since jan. I don't like having her around makes me feel the same way like I'm supposed to be cleaning ect. Look at it this way she is not your mother you do not have to please her don't take offence to her comments it's clearly problem she has

tate62610

I just get upset when it's obvious I've just cleaned and someone, who doesn't even live here, feels the need to come in and "do it better." We had a chat about that and about rearranging our things. I came downstairs one morning and she had rearranged the bar, my Christmas decorations, my kitchen decor and was trying to plot out the living room. THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME. I'm not that easily offended. In fact, I'm pretty dang laid back. I just find so freakin rude to do that in someone's home.

casserole27

She's never said anything about our house but does enough about everyone else's that I am always paranoid and clean everything when she's coming. She does open my drawers and peak in cupboards which drives me insane. Always manages to open the junk drawer or something.

intheversa

@casserole27 That would make me crazy! I keep everything pretty organized and I know she approves of that.  But why would you go though cupboards? Thankfully I'm going to be home tomorrow now. I left my job today, my last day was going to be Wednesday, but I just decided that I was done today after going through some more BS. It's a long story, but I'm looking forward to being a stay at home mom for the next few months and being able to finally keep the house clean. She and I talked again today and she was good with why I left today and really excited about tomorrow.

I've learned the art of shoving things in places so that does help in a quick clean up situation, but it's so hard to keep things clean. I don't know how moms do it. I'm a FTM so I guess I will learn eventually.