Working mom vs. SAHM

mamaskittles09

It seems this is the most heavily debated, sensitive subject to talk about. Why are woman SO quick to condemn other mothers as bad parents, simply for making different life choices than others? There is NO right or wrong way to do things. It's what's best for your family and your decision as a family to make. I've had "friends" make me feel awful for working and being in college. One told me their children are their priority and she just couldn't let someone else raise her children like I do. DEFINITELY not the case here. And I know I'm not the only one, I've seen plenty of SAHM mothers be judged harshly as well. Instead of judging each other, help each other. Rant over.

EricandKaren

Amen! We are all doing what we need to do and we all love our children. I'm sorry your friends made you feel bad

SharLovesAlex

I'm sorry that happened to you. I decided (once my baby was born) I couldn't bear the thought of him in daycare, so I decided to stay home. It was hard for me because I've been working or in school since I was 17. I never thought I'd ever consider being a SAHM, let alone actually doing it. These past 3 months have been challenging. I don't want to tell his parents, they're very judgmental.

mamaskittles09

SharLovesAlex said:

I'm sorry that happened to you. I decided (once my baby was born) I couldn't bear the thought of him in daycare, so I decided to stay home. It was hard for me because I've been working or in school since I was 17. I never thought I'd ever consider being a SAHM, let alone actually doing it. These past 3 months have been challenging. I don't want to tell his parents, they're very judgmental.

I can definitely relate to you! We bought a house a year before my daughter was born and we knew to afford it we would both have to work full time-- not an issue, SAHM was never even a blimp on my radar. I never realized how hard it would be to leave my LO in daycare. Had we made a different decision about our house, I would have definitely stayed home and settled for something with a smaller mortgage. I would love to be able to be home with my child! Cherish the time you spend together-- it's truly a blessing. My fiancés parents are judgmental as well. I try not to take anything they say personally. Easier said than done however!

klcarr19

I want to weigh in on this... I am so lucky to be a teacher where I truly get the best of both worlds, but during my summers I am always busy planning the next year. Well several moms in our district just had babies and have decided to take leaves of absences to be a SAHM. I think if it works for their family great! Unfortunately, it doesn't work in our family and I don't think I have the personality to be a SAHM. I'm the lets be busy all the time person. Any sort of down time would make me crazy and eventually would drive my daughter nuts .... But the other day I took my daughter to the pool where all these friends of mine (now SAHM) started to talk about how great of moms they were because they can devote all their time to children, and really making comments about "how can you leave your own child to be with other people's children?!" First of all its my business and second of all I would NEVER KNOCK SAHM!!! I have a major problem with people's snap judgements! Then after coming home on social media there is a picture of all of them at the pool with their babies with hashtags like stay at home mom club, exclusive members, doing what's best for our babies, and breastfed over formula easy anyday (which really?!? What does that have to do with you by the pool?!). It deeply bothered me since my baby is getting what's best for her and I've formula fed since day one! She's totally fine. It probably just irritated me more than anything.

Moral of the story some Moms gotta take it back to high school. SAHM or working mom, breastfed or formula fed... It doesn't matter. As long as that baby is loved and cared for that's all that matters.

RANT over

mamaskittles09

I can't believe your friends would say things like that to you. How can people be so sure they know what's best for your family? That's extremely presumptuous of them.

soupalou

I know how you feel- all of the women in my husband's family are well educated women (RN, lawyer etc) who have made the decision to stay at home with their kids- despite going somewhat crazy - so everyone assumes I will too- people say things like "you might change your mind" when I tell them when I'm going back or "oh that's too bad" - what's so bad about it? They are well taken care of- I'll be a good role model for my kids, I still get to be their mommy and I get to be fulfilled (I like my job)- I'll be much happier. At least this is how I feel now- who knows things may change once I actually go back to work (right now I'm excited)
You need to do what is best for your family- that us so wrong that they would judge you- you don't judge them