Feeling distant from partner.

Allycat1985

This is my first pregnancy and I'd really appreciate some reassurance! I'm 8wks and the last few weeks I've been feeling really distant from my boyfriend, everything he does irritates the hell out of me and I really don't miss him when he's not here, feel like I need lots of space etc. We don't live together at the moment and understandably he's keen to move in so we can start our family but I just can't face it the way I'm feeling. He is an amazing guy and I know I love him, it's all very confusing!
We were only together 9months before we found out I was pregnant which also makes me feel anxious.
Has anybody else felt this way? And did these feelings go away.

Love4littlethings24

When I have nausea waves and feel like doing nothing and just eating and passing gas on the couch I feel like being alone too. In all seriousness I bet it's your hormones and just lovingly explain you love him but sometimes you need space. I think anyone in a relationship can understand that. Me and my spouse were together about 7 months before we found out and I think we both needed some slight space after the news to just let it sink in because it was so unexpected. Just give it some time and try to do some things for you too! There's sooo many changes in the first tri, even the most excited person would have some bumps in the road! Good luck!

Allycat1985

Thanks for the reply. Luckily we have great communication and I have explained how I'm feeling and he's being fantastic, so understanding.
I just feel so bad sometimes as I should want him here with me, it's his baby too but I just want to sleep and be grouchy without hurting his feelings.
Guess it's just a case of riding it out!
Pregnancy can do crazy things as I'm slowly but surely finding out

AggieKim

Wait until second trimester. First trimester is such a hormone tangle it's hard to think straight. I won't promise it'll be perfect in second trimester, but at least some of the issues usually tame themselves around then.

Fwiw, there are days I'm happy I'm off work and my husband is at work. I like my independence and, honestly, the house stays cleaner when he's not here. I would miss the hell out of him if he never came home, but I don't see anything wrong with not feeling the desire to have him around all the time. If definitely takes getting used to and you wonder sometimes how in the world they man can survive when he puts trash on a counter that is literally inches away from the trash can, but whatever.

Allycat1985

Thanks for the reassurance, I'm sure it is just my hormones that are messing my head up slightly at the moment.
I think most men (and women) can be highly irritating at times, just sucks that everything is x 100 when pregnant which makes it damn hard to cope with.
Thanks guys.

kmew117

Not just you! I "hate" my husband right now...but it's not his fault. And I don't really hate him.
I'm just a hormonal mess. No worries it has to get better !

Allycat1985

I really hope it does get better, I only have to look at him and I kinda want to punch him in the face, Never mind, cuddling, kissing etc, poor bugger!
So glad I'm not alone.

VesperLove

Hormones, lady, hormones. I've been married since October but with my husband for over 8 years ... I'm madly in love with him and KNOW that he is the one with every fiber of my being ... but for the last two months I have wanted to strangle him, rip his hair out, kick him out of the house, and so much more. It's all the hormones. 

You're going through SO MUCH with your body right now. The hormones put all your feelings out of whack, not to mention for a lot of people the whole not feeling well thing makes them want to be alone and just suffer in peace. Just know that we ALL have felt some of those feelings -- some more than others, but we've all felt them. 

I agree to wait until second trimester when things start to even back out. I'm sure you'll see that many things go back to normal and you're able to deal with them a bit easier. Good luck, mama. 

bublesmiled

Just like the pp- gotta love the hormones! I don't have patience for anyone right now, including my dd. I hate it because out of everyone I know - I'm the most patient out of everyone - but not with this little one on the way! When you are in a good place, just talk to your boyfriend and let him know what's going with everything. As new as it is to you, it's new to him too and I doubt he's on the daddy board of TB looking up why your acting all crazy

Allycat1985

He's fantastic, we have talked about it and he's very understanding and patient with me. I actually told him to read some of the forums and I think that's made the situation easier as he's realised he's not the only one!
It's more that I feel guilty for feeling the way I do, roll on the 2nd trimester, I'm praying for an improvement

g8trkim

Totally normal. With my other pregnancies I got back to normal in 2nd tri but once I got really big I was standoffish again... also when I was nursing the last thing I wanted was him hanging on me after having a baby hanging on me. My advice though, try to suck it up sometimes. Once you get too much space it's hard to get it back. Babies are wonderful but they can put strain on a relationship. It's a constant struggle for me to make time for DH. Best of luck to you!

kmew117

Definitely not alone haha.

Allycat1985

Ha ha no thank goodness! Bit of piece of mind.
Good luck

KateLouise

Totally normal. I've been married to my husband for 12 years. This is our 3rd baby. I adore him and he's a great husband and father. First trimester, however, made me want to punch him in the face.

Currently 2nd trimester is making me want to have sex with him several times a day. So needless to say he's enjoying 2nd tri more than the 1st.

Assuming you were happy before, then yes it's the hormones. Hang in there.

Esk311

I agree I can't stand my husband right now. This is going to be along 9 months.