Not sure which board/group best to post to - hope I get responses here.
I have a 4 and 2 year old, this post is about my 4 year old who is beautiful, super smart, kind, loving, caring, and stubborn. As she ages she becomes more bossy, more stubborn and not a great listener. She IS responsive to time out in the short term but the behvaior(s) continue in the long term. To be honest, she has been acting like a brat and very fresh. This has progressively been getting worse since about 3.5 years old.
She will tell me straight up "NO" for not wanting to wear something, not wanting to eat something, or having to brush her teeth. It is in a very fresh tone beyond a simple "no" and lets see how mom reacts. She says it as if her "No" IS the answer or way we will operate. She is overly emotional too and every bump or bruise ends in an over-the-top tamtrum of how hurt she is. She doesn't deal with change well either. If I change her night time routine at all she melts down. She tries to tell me how long I need to lay with her in bed, that I need to close my eyes, and need to give her X number of hugs...a bit OCD with her nighttime routine.
I wil say I haven't stuck to my guns as much as I should but my husband put pressure on me to follow through with time out, not rewarding after a certain behavior etc. I struggle with how much of her toddler behvaior should be ignored and understood as being a toddler and how much we should respond to and provide a consequence to.
This evening my daughter didn't want to eat her dinner (she finally did after a consequence was given - no play after dinner); then she didn't want to come inside after my husband instructed her too over and over. Then after bath she wanted to dress herself - I popped my head in to check on her and she very nasty said "don't look at me". Then she stubbed her toe and hand a total meltdown.
My husband went in her room and told her to get into bed that Mommy wasn't putting her to sleep and he didn't care if she threw up - she was satying in that room and she was to no longer act this way and that the "party was over" - LIKE SHE KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT???
I am very mad at my husband for how he handled it although I did not go into her room because he said I had to stand firm with him...although I disagree w/ his approach I think it is more confusing for kids when dad's say one thing and mom says the other.
So point it - do you have problems with your spouse on not seeing eye-to-eye on responses to such behavior?
Have you experienced such behavior and how have you positively dealth with it?