Being intimate

torie2132

This may be 100% tmi, but my husband and I haven't been intimate since way before the birth of the baby. I had a really hard pregnancy. I threw up every day for the first 5 months, then my public bone started to spread - being quite painful. Then of course the weight gain and extreme exhaustion. When I had the baby I had a third degree tear - which as they were stitching me up the nurses were debating if it was forth. As if I couldn't hear them. On top of all this he, the babe and I have all had a cold one week after another.

Sigh. It's a lot. And now I'm just so anxious about it. It feels weird and awkward that we haven't done it yet. I guess I'm just looking for anybody who went through the same thing, it's hard not to feel alone in all of this sometimes. None of my girlfriends have kids so, it's not something I can talk to them about. They just look at me in horror that it's been so long /:

Lark425

Be kind to yourself mama. You've been through a lot. When you are ready to move forward just give little hints. Start to show your affection physically again. Use your words. If you're uncomfortable, tell him. Go slow. He should be supportive of you, he's waited this long, if you need him to I'm sure he will wait a little longer. It's all a new experience. Remember that your whole world is different now. Try not to worry. It will all be ok.

TwinsCitiesMomma

I had a 4th degree tear and am 10 weeks PP. Also scared of sex but my doc said go slow, gentle and use lots of lube. I may give it another week or so to make sure I'm fully recovered from the tear.

babyh310

I had bad tearing as well and am 11 weeks PP and am nervous. I don't feel the slightest bit sexy or desirous of intimacy and am so exhausted... the thought of what it would feel like and any twinge of random pain I might have now just does that much more to discourage me. But my husband feels love and connection from sex and even though he is so patient and understanding I know it's getting him down. It's tough. I want to want to, but I don't. Not yet. I think for me it's one of those things that I will have to just go for it and as PP said go slow and lube like crazy. If we don't do it soon I feel like it will never happen and I don't want that!

TwinsCitiesMomma

Update: we randomly did it this afternoon. It did not hurt per se, just uncomfortable. Sore afterwards- kind of reminds me of my first time-lol! I'm sure it will get better as time goes by but glad we got that first time out of the way. DH was sweet about it and tried not to hurt me. I was worried it wouldn't feel the same for him but he assured me it did. Haha- I think he lied to spare my feelings but that's okay.

RJP89

I'm in the same boat. 11wpp, 2degree tear, and I was having preterm labor symptoms from 23wks so we haven't had sex since the end of November. I'm so nervous I start sweating when I think about it lol. A few weeks ago my DH just asked to make out and cuddle haha we are both missing that closeness. I think I want to try this week but I just don't want to be in anymore pain down there. I told him the first time is basically going to be all business. We'll see how it goes.

torie2132

I'm just glad I'm not the only one. My only point of comfort is that well. It can last that long. Haha I mean, it's been awhile and you can't fight nature. More than the pain is just the worry over it feeling awkward that it hasn't happened yet. I don't think any of us are alone here, I appreciate all the responses! It just helps to make me feel not so isolated in a sea of babyless friends