Fundraiser for Tubal Reversal

krisglofan

Before I do this... I want to make sure that I am allowed to do this. But I was wondering if I could post a link to my fundraiser. I am currently trying to raise money so that I can have a tubal reversal. And I was wondering if I could put the link up here to give it a little boost and get it out there. Could someone please let me know. 

bmo88

I could be wrong, but I think it is against TOS to post links to self-promotion sites. 

wassuphoes

sparklingdiamonddancer

I don't think it's really fair to ask a bunch of ladies who are trying to have their own babies to help pay for your surgery. But I wish you the best of luck!

Mysterious_wife

WTF is up with entitlement?

StarbucksShip

It is against the rules and your post will be removed. A woman asking for donations to help assist in conceiving her second child had her post removed as well.

I'm sorry for any emotional distress your condition is causing you, but it is insensitive to ask strangers, who are dealing with their own struggles in conceiving, suffered a loss, infertility, waiting, etc., to financially contribute.

Mysterious_wife

Distress? Oh lord. Now I remember why I stay away from here now

StarbucksShip

I imagine if someone wants a procedure reversed, regardless of what it is, and can't make that happen that it could cause them distress. But then there's also a qualifier for that, "any distress." There might not be any at all.

ChristyM87

I turn a side eye to any of those "fund me" pages popping up online. Whatever happened to raising the money, budgeting, taking out a loan, or making other financial decisions to get where you want in life. I am having a baby next month, would it be fair for me to start a fund me page to pay for my prenatal and delivery bills? Obviously not

als1982

Ugh. You are NOT a charity. Save and use your own money. If you were my friend or family and you asked me for money for this, I'd seriously reconsider our relationship. Gross.

Sugarplum0217

Seriously?! Why do you need a reversal? If you can't fund your own procedure what makes you think you can fund another child?!

BlueWaffleSpeshul

I see these kinds of requests becoming more common. There was an article in a popular magazine recently about a woman who couldn't conceive and her fundraiser for IVF. She ended up raising a lot of the money, and I think that is going to spread the message that this kind of thing is acceptable.  X_X

Xstatic3333

BlueWaffleSpeshul said:

I see these kinds of requests becoming more common. There was an article in a popular magazine recently about a woman who couldn't conceive and her fundraiser for IVF. She ended up raising a lot of the money, and I think that is going to spread the message that this kind of thing is acceptable.  X_X

Yeah, this trend is making our generation look bad. I've seen them pop up in my newsfeed for college tuition. Really!? Those websites also skim a percentage off the top like honey funds.

Alyeena

BlueWaffleSpeshul said:

I see these kinds of requests becoming more common. There was an article in a popular magazine recently about a woman who couldn't conceive and her fundraiser for IVF. She ended up raising a lot of the money, and I think that is going to spread the message that this kind of thing is acceptable.  X_X

@BlueWaffleSpeshul and @Xstatic3333 and anyone else that agrees...

I don't agree. I think that is perfectly acceptable. IVF is EXPENSIVE. And people can't always take out loans and put another mortgage on their homes or budget and make 15,000K out of thin air. I mean most people wanting children do have money set aside but then what money is left for the child? Me and husband can afford IVF out of our own pocket and have more than enough money left over to raise a child but not everyone is like us.

If you don't want to donate, don't. But I think when you have a medical condition and want to raise funds for treatments then it is perfectly acceptable. Some generous people do donate, and then good for them, maybe they raise enough to get their baby. Who are you to tell people they do not deserve money that people want to donate to them? How can it possibly affect you?

People do fundraisers for adoption as well, all the time. Because guess what? That is expensive too. And people deserve to be parents but may not have 30,000K lying around.

A tube reversal though? Absolutely not. You made that decision yourself. No one made the decision to be infertile.

FiancB

UO coming up: 

It really grinds my gears when people complain about how expensive IVF or private adoption is when there are so many foster kids that need homes. My nephew is adopted through foster care and was only a few months old when he joined my sister's family.

I get it, everyone wants their own child. I do, too, and I can't say I wouldn't spend a ton of money to make it happen. But there are options out there that don't require signing up for a go fund me (well really just about nothing should require a go fund me). 

Alyeena

@FiancB

No, you don't get to judge people and how they want to make a family. Foster care is not an option for everyone, it can be emotionally more draining than anything else. Since the goal of foster care remains to reunite kids to their families and not get adopted. Some people do no want to go trough that. Not to mention it is NOT FAIR to the children, they deserve families who make a conscious choice of adopting them. Not everyone is prepared for an older child, because infants are not the majority of children adopted in foster care. Do you research before you say things you know nothing about, and while your sister is a wonderful lucky person, you cannot put foward the experience of one person and call it fact.

Also, people that want to do IVF may not want to adopt AT ALL, foster care or not.

if you fell so bad for foster kids, then go on and adopt some yourself. But DO NOT tell other people what they should do, or how to make their family.

Xstatic3333

Alyeena said:

BlueWaffleSpeshul said:

I see these kinds of requests becoming more common. There was an article in a popular magazine recently about a woman who couldn't conceive and her fundraiser for IVF. She ended up raising a lot of the money, and I think that is going to spread the message that this kind of thing is acceptable.  X_X

@BlueWaffleSpeshul and @Xstatic3333 and anyone else that agrees...

I don't agree. I think that is perfectly acceptable. IVF is EXPENSIVE. And people can't always take out loans and put another mortgage on their homes or budget and make 15,000K out of thin air. I mean most people wanting children do have money set aside but then what money is left for the child? Me and husband can afford IVF out of our own pocket and have more than enough money left over to raise a child but not everyone is like us.

If you don't want to donate, don't. But I think when you have a medical condition and want to raise funds for treatments then it is perfectly acceptable. Some generous people do donate, and then good for them, maybe they raise enough to get their baby. Who are you to tell people they do not deserve money that people want to donate to them? How can it possibly affect you?

People do fundraisers for adoption as well, all the time. Because guess what? That is expensive too. And people deserve to be parents but may not have 30,000K lying around.

A tube reversal though? Absolutely not. You made that decision yourself. No one made the decision to be infertile.

I think it's a big stretch to say we don't think people who use Go Fund Mes "deserve" to have kids. Of course they do! If H and I need IVF or adoption we won't be able to afford it without a few years of saving or a mountain of debt, either. If a friend in this situation was having a private fundraiser I might donate what I could, but I find creating public fundraisers and posting them on social media really distasteful. I just do. I see that society's opinion on this may be changing, and I may be in the minority, but I'm not comfortable with asking for money, even for a good reason.

The one time I support these types of campaigns is when the fundraiser is started by someone other than the person in need. I have most frequently seen this happen in life threatening medical situations to help people going through cancer treatment or similar, and I have donated in some of those cases. My preference is to avoid going through the website if possible, however.

Alyeena

@Xstatic3333

If you personally do not feel comfortable asking people for money it is your choice and I completely respect that. But not everyone has the same views as you and some people are clearly comfortable asking for donations, no one is forcing anyone to donate. And why would you not post it on social media? How else do you get to word across?

I don't think someone else hosting to fundraiser makes it "more" acceptable. I think either case is fine, because in the end it comes down to the same thing.

I agree about the website thing, GoFundMe does take a large portion of the funds. But some other websites are out there that take less, or just require a flat fee. People have options. But I agree if you know the person personally you may just want to give them money directly, I know I would. Seems like it is more strangers that donate to websites like GoFundMe.

firebaby688

FiancB said:

UO coming up: 

It really grinds my gears when people complain about how expensive IVF or private adoption is when there are so many foster kids that need homes. My nephew is adopted through foster care and was only a few months old when he joined my sister's family.

I get it, everyone wants their own child. I do, too, and I can't say I wouldn't spend a ton of money to make it happen. But there are options out there that don't require signing up for a go fund me (well really just about nothing should require a go fund me). 

I agree to an extent. I worked in foster care and on the flip side of this, there are people that only accept babies and only when parental rights have been severed. Foster care is not supposed to be a place for free babies.

But yes, if you are able to support the child and possible reunification, then absolutely go that route.

amberrmariee20

Mysterious_wife

Oh fuck. This post is irritating. Foster care? Really? I'm going to go bang my head in the wall.

engaged224

I'm so sick of Go Fund Me pages. The entitlement people feel these days is disgusting. I wish you all the best but if you can't pay for something yourself, then it's not in the cards.

Disneygeek77

Ha ha.  My sister's unemployed SIL who lives at home started a gofundme page to get people to pay for a European vacation because her life was so stressful and hard.  She didn't even raise one dollar.