Just needed to get this out there- ramblings

GypsyHippie

11 days since D&C procedure

Sometimes I'm so sad that the grief overcomes me and I can't breathe

But then there are moments when I completely forget and I'm able to laugh

then i feel anguish when i remember again

Sometimes my husband and I get so mad at the world

WHYYYYYYYYYY US and cursing God

And then we schedule a beach vacation for September

the one we weren't going to take when I was due on December 1st

I'm even pissed that i can't read my fav blog because the writer is pregnant

and I feel so jealous

don't even get me started on Kim Kardashian announcing her pregnancy

feeling petty and like a failure

feeling broken

no words can make it better

friends stop checking on ya coworkers don't even know

Hoping time will heal our pain and praying (sorry God for the cursing) that when we try again

we'll be luckier than this time

Just the ramblings of an insane person

MEA0320

I know some people say "Everything happens for a reason" - I'm one of them and what I keep telling myself during this very tough time. (My D&C is scheduled for Friday this week...)

Trying to focus on other things but it's really tough when you see people like Kim Kardashian or in my case 4 close friends announcing their pregnancy and you're going thru something that is almost unbearable at times. 

For me, I'm just trying to focus on a house project we had scheduled before the pregnancy - it helps during the day, but at night, it's tough... 

God/fate/or whatever, works in the most mysterious ways that sometimes can't be explained. Stay positive and I wish you all the best!! 

(I do find reading some of these posts and boards help in the grieving process... just to know I'm not the only one going through the same thing right now. Thank you for sharing your post as I can relate with the feeling of failing and being completely broken but then laughing and finding something more positive to focus on all at the same time.) ((HUGS!!)) 

jdubs0891

First thing is don't feel like a failure. It's not your fault at all. But I'm in the same boat with seeing pregnancy and babies all over the place now more than I've seen before. It's sad knowing there's people out there having good pregnancies while I just lost mine. It's devastating but I'm here for you.

rachrobertson

You are not insane, you are a grieving mother. I have the same feelings as you have described. My MIL has yet to really acknowledge what happened and anytime I bring anything about it up, she changes the subject. Makes me furious. I know people don't always know what to say, but when the grandmother of our little angel doesn't ask how I am or speak of him/her, that makes me crazy. I also feel like most of my days are filled with rants about the stress of trying again and our loss in general. I keep telling myself this first year will be the most difficult, but with time, things will get easier. I am sorry we are all part of the club that nobody wants to be a member of.